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111 · Feb 2020
...:/
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Hopefully death graces my lips,
That were once full of life.
And taking me with one,
Final fatal breathless kiss.
***** my soul and my will,
Out of my quaking body.
111 · Oct 2020
Elements of lost love
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
The air was howling out your name
It scared me.
Natures going insane
Becareful.
Cause if you're not you might
Fall down.
Fall down to your knees.
Its not just the wolves howling now.

Let me go
Like the wind lets go of the leaves.
Let me flow
Through and in the autumn breeze.
Let me go
I dont need you any more
Cause you didn't need me.

Let me go.

I wish you begged me to stay,
But you let me go.
Just like the ocean,
Does to its waves.
As they crash down on the shores.
Tumbling upside down just like my life.

I crashed down,
But you only saw the surface.
Drowning in a rip curl,
Just under the surf.

Let me go
Like the ocean does to the waves.
Let me flow
Round and round like the water to shores.
Let me go
I dont need you any more
Cause you waved goodbye on our love.

It didn't go out with the bang you thought.
You burnt me
Kept on the heat till the light died out
Passion and hope
Couldn't keep this thing from going now.

Let me go
The flames burnt down to ashes.
Let me cremate
I dont mind, everyone dies.
Let me go
My hearts gone cold
And your fire won't put it back

If all our elements
Together made something dangerous.
How could we keep going
When its inevitable
The end is here
110 · Nov 2019
Toy
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Toy
Treat me like I'm a b**ch,
Ill treat you like my toy.
Ill chew you up and spit you out,
You'll wish you were a boy.
Cause just like Pinocchio,
Your long nosed due to lies.
But like that wooden doll,
You're nothing but my toys.
108 · Aug 2019
Midnight Blues
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
This is not something I choose,
I need help with midnight blues
I need help to keep on my smile,
Knowing this might take a little awhile
But that is not new news

I keep to myself
But i keep falling and falling and falling in deeper
Bunch over myself
I can't control tears from falling and and falling and falling down further
Soon I will have cried myself,
A river...

Sooner or later I'll have myself a river
Blue, lovely and pretty
Lately all those boys are flowing
down on a boat,
Guided by someone else's hands
Caring to much when I shouldn't
But when I don't it hurts
Just posted a few for right now :) sorry for being so depressed all the time...
108 · Dec 2019
In between
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
There is truth, lies and the in between,
Because somehow there is always some truth in the lies.
Somehow I feel there's lies behind the truth too though,
And yes I know it gives me too, those butterflies.
In between all those lies and truths,
Either way they hurt.
And each pile upon eachother like a Janga game,
Pulling out one by one avoid that feeling of anxiousness, the burning heat.
In between is the truth and lies themselves,
Without one there is never the other.
With one there is always the other like a toxic relationship,
The in between it's always been there and it'll always be here.
And if you read in between the lines,
You'll see it.
105 · Dec 2019
If god exists, tell me why?
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
If God does exist,
Tell me why his hands and touch was nailed into my skin,
Like dirt trapped under a finger nail.
Where you'd scrub and scrub to wash it out,
But it just won't come out.
No no no no, stop stop stop stop,
No plea for a young girl would ever be heard let alone cause for any thing to stop.
If God exists,
Tell me why some times I relive this day over and over,
Wondering if he did this to other girls other than me?
Some times this was the main cause of my suffering and depression,
If anyone knew, I wouldn't be accepted.
So my words became violent knives I used but did not attack anyone with,
No I didn't attack anyone but myself.
Was this all I was worth? Some sexualized tool?
If younger boys could take advantage of me,
Who is to save me from the greater evil of the world?
If God does exist, tell me why he allows ****** assault.
Tell me why he allows for this monster to be engraved in my skin,
Where I can't love without feeling hurt or anxiety?
Cause sometimes I think...
What's the point in living?
#metoo
104 · Jun 2020
What am I to you?
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
What am I to you?
But a,
horrible daughter.
I can't see through,
My tears right now.

What am I to you?
But a,
Nasty sister.
However all my secrets,
Are spilled by you.

What am I to you?
But a,
Disappointment.
Where am I supposed to go,
If out of this house I am sent?
104 · May 2020
You are
Bella-Lee May 2020
You are a unicorn,
In a world full of horses.
A ripple in the ocean,
Guiding the crashing waves.
You are beautiful,
And serene.
Another star burning,
In the night sky.
Don't let go,
Of the hope you hold onto.
103 · Nov 2019
Mellow Melodies @ Midnight
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Slow beat,
Just like your heart
beat.
Few words,
Mean a lot like your
words.
Mellowed tunes,
Soft and slow like your
lips so tender.
103 · Nov 2019
Heartbeat
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
On your chest,
My head rests.
Hearing it beat,
Slow and steady.
Then you rest,
Your head on my chest.
Both our heat beats,
Rise and amplify.
And we lean in,
And they stop.
But when you kiss me,
We come back to life.
Our hearts beat,
Forever fast together.
102 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
My heart is like a voice inside my head,
My soul is guided and lost among the dead.
Yet I think I'm alive,
But I breathe like I only just died.
101 · Apr 2020
Movement
Bella-Lee Apr 2020
When I let you down,
Please get up.
You're always right,
I'm always wrong.
My heads spinning around,
Please just wait for me.
Don't make me move,
Don't make me go.
I still love you,
I hope you still love me too?
101 · Oct 2019
I heard...
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
I heard you're back again:
The feelings again start to begin
The desire
To be something you admire.

I heard the whispers about me:
The standard set of me.
The hurt
Leaving my heart ashed and burnt.
Two feelings
101 · Sep 2019
S - e - a
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
A sailor died,
Drowning in the tears he cried.
And he sunk to the bottom,
Of the ocean he created.
No one mourned over,
The death of another...
Lost soul,
To the sea.
101 · Jun 2020
wrong
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
What is wrong with you?
Why can't you seem to understand this?
How many times do i have to go through, this?
Is there something wrong with you?
I know you aren't stupid, but are you?

What is wrong with you?

'I don't know...
I can't think like this...
What is wrong with me?'
101 · Aug 2019
Teachers Teach
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
Past year ten,
You don't have to be here.
Don't have to sit,
And listen.
It's all up to you,
To make your education dear.
And whether they want,
Teachers are unforgiving.
100 · Feb 2020
Roll off
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words roll off,
My sweetened lips.
Like water off,
My finger tips.

Tears roll off,
My pale cheeks.
Like memories off,
My troubled mind.
98 · Aug 2019
To someone I use to know
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I need you to know...
You are amazing,
You are smart.
You are caring,
You are worth it.
You are adorable.
And no...
You aren't useless.
You aren't horrible,
You aren't worthless.
I love you...
And yes...
Even when you're sad too.
You are my everything now,
I need you to know...
I never want you to feel down.
97 · Nov 2019
Lies
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Good girls and bad guys,
Make up perfect lies.
No one knows what's true,
Their trust in now through.
97 · Aug 2019
Feelings
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I don't want to be here,
Can you see.
Can't hold back the tears,
It burns.
I'm torn apart again,
I'm broken.
My smile has faded,
It hurts.
To pretend another day,
I'm fineeeeeee.
Im just publishing from my secret stash of poems
Hope yo guys like
97 · Mar 2020
Fantasy
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Pink and small,
Bald headed and all.
For nineteen year old parents,
the delicate squeeze and hug, filled their hearts…

Then she grew up,
And two years later there's another.
Maybe the next one would be better,
Better than the first screaming terror.
Nothing more that they wanted than a decent sleep,
But once she grew up it would be fine.

Life wasn’t hard for the kids,
Unaware of what was going on.

Now let’s skip forward a few years...

Opening the gates of hell it was,
Walking into nothing but screams and torture rooms.
Where two little girls,
Dreamt of a land of fairy tales and mystery.
Much of a hell school seemed,
It was made better.

Jumping lines chased by goblins and dragons,
Fairies handing lemon grass as they sat on the oval.
Evil witches walked through the complex.
Bucktoothed, ginger, freckled witches.

The fantasy began to fray,
As they grew up and moved away.
I still remember the fun we once had,
Before I moved and everything turned bad.
95 · Nov 2019
Refrain
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Refrain from bad thoughts though they linger,
Dark ooze dripping from finger to finger.
And refrain from depression even though she looks,
Like a goddess over top as she looms.
Abstinence is a must have,
Yes refrain from ****** pleasure.
Refrain from love,
As it will break your heart.
Refrain from life,
As one day you shall part.
Break free from the chains,
That chains that have you under restrain.
Refrain,
From keeping your words under strain.
Don't be scared to take control of your life. Do what you want. Be free. And never ever let anyone restrain your thoughts and life.
95 · Mar 2020
Hug
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Hug
The closest I can get,
To a hug.
Is your jumper I wear,
Every night.
95 · Mar 2020
Suck it up Princess
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Stand up princess,
Up proud and tall.
**** it up princess,
Or your crown may fall.
Cover your tears,
With a smile and make-up.
Mascara smears,
Down eyes and somehow up.
Don't worry princess,
You haven't got much to go.

My brain's a mess,
It just lets the tears flow.
95 · Nov 2019
Is it...
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
What is it?
My heart won't fit
Behind these walls
Built up of me
But less of me
Out it all falls.
Is it?
That I obmit
Things that I need
Like love and
like affection and
to my craves it feed
Is it?
The way love hit
held in your heart
now my hands
mine in your hands
Hope things don't fall apart.
94 · Mar 2020
i hate you
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Three words I never said,
Except you hear me say it in your head.

I hate you.

...But in reality I dont...
93 · Mar 2020
Worthless
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Ever get that feeling,
That you're not good enough?
Or maybe,
That you are worthless...
Easily replaceable?

Yeah same,
I feel it in a place I'm supposed to call home.
92 · Mar 2020
In my dreams
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
In my dreams I can see you with somebody else,
Holding hands like you ain't seen by no one else.
In my dreams I picture you with someone else,
Dreaming dreams we are yet to dream ourselves.
Oh In my dream when I can't fall asleep,
In my dreams in this terrible nightmare.
92 · May 2020
words
Bella-Lee May 2020
Sometimes I feel
my words go amiss
my thoughts are real
the soul they do kiss

my words say sorry
for the emotions they admit
i don't want you to worry
the fire they lit...
wont consume me
91 · Dec 2019
Told me
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Told me you want me,
But you let me go.
Told me you need me,
But you don't let it show.
90 · Jan 2020
My Place
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
My place is fun...
It's wrapped in your arms,
Watching rom-coms and action films.

My place is quiet...
When we sleep side-by-side,
Your body heat keeping me warm.

My place is unique...
Like you're laugh and humour,
And the face you make at the camera for me.

My place is emulous...
A longing call for most people,
Yet only attainable by me and my person.

My place is home...
And my home is with you.

My place...
Is you!
88 · Dec 2019
Sometimes
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Sometimes I wish I was different,
Sometimes I wish I was normal.
Sometimes I wish those two statements,
Didn't have the same meaning...
88 · Oct 2019
I'm back
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Hi,
I'm back.
No silly haha
My names not back.
But to be completely honest,
Actually I'm not back.
I never left,
I was here every single day.
I sat behind my phone screen,
Waiting for you,
Typing...
To text back.
But you didn't,
I think I know why now.
So hi again,
Maybe now you can reply?
88 · Jan 2020
Story
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
And the story,
Went like this.
Her life wasn't misery,
Only as much as she took.
But,
She couldn't take it much.
So her heart took over her eyes,
To find the love she had lost.
86 · Mar 2020
I dont want to be here
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
I don't want to be here,
Can you see?
I can't hold back the tears,
Burning down my face to rejoin the sea.

I'm torn apart again,
Don't you notice I'm broken?
My smile has faded,
It hurts to keep my eyes wide open.

To pretend another day,
I told you that I'm fine.
I don't want to be here,
Shouldn't that be enough of a sign?
Change your ways
86 · Dec 2019
Longing to belong
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Loves never left me this bitter,
Sitting next to you is giving me jitters.
This summer's becoming the coldest winter,
Trying to save ourselfs from all the shivers.
And here I am,
The loneliest sinner.
Floating up into the atmosphere,
Some where away from here.
Where I can't breathe,
Cause I can't sleep,
And I can't eat,
Even when I'm on my own two feet.
I need to get away,
Where I feel safe I can stay.
Somewhere I belong.
86 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...4
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Everyone’s been in love at least once,
They say love is the most dangerous drug.
You become irrational and that firm grip on reality
Flies out the window when you grip on for a hug
Don’t deny it, we both love and hate
It’s written in the blood we all shed
Love we show and all makes us human
Or we are better six feet under… Dead.
86 · Mar 2020
It's LOVE
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
It's,

L ike an
O verbearing parent,
V indicating themselves,
E ven though all they did was hurt.

Is this what love is?
An acrostic poem with a twist lol
86 · Nov 2019
Love sky
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
I love you
Under a lovely night sky
We made love
And stars shinned more
86 · Dec 2019
Float
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Don't think that if you drown,
You will float.
Cause your life will end as fast as,
The arrival of that life boat.
And just because you're on land again,
Doesn't mean you're alive.
86 · Nov 2019
Love <3
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
I crave a love so pure,
My heart melts to gold.
I have found him,
My heart now sold.
He is my future,
My one and only.
All my cards out,
To him I love you I told.
86 · May 2020
Untitled
Bella-Lee May 2020
I wrote love songs for hours,
On and on with out an end.
I really thought that you were,
My best friend... but you weren't.
I'd like to tell you everything,
That you did to make me hurt.
But doubt you'd ever listen,
Or take in a single word
And fix your miskates,
But you wouldn't care anyway...
86 · Feb 2020
Writing
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words unwritten,
Are words unsaid.
As they leap off the page,
Towards you.
When words are there written,
They are what you make of it.
Emotions and stories,
Morals that help ease the soul.
So make what you will,
Make off with my writing I have not said.
85 · Feb 2020
Use of Words
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Words we write are paper thin,
Can rip, fray and wither away.

Words we say cannot always win,
The battles we all undergo.

Words like knives that cut like sin,
Won't hurt as much as a bullet through skin.

Words explain feeling and thoughts in,
Ways our bodies cannot comprehend.
85 · Aug 2019
Super-market boy part 2
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
Sunday,
Today, I'm just going to say hey...
Nope,
He'll say hey back, I hope...
F**k,
Told him I think he's cute...
Thanks,
Is all I get back...
Why do I lack,
All the confidence everyone has...?
Honest I hate my anxiety, he probably has a girlfriend
84 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...5
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Whether we will ever like it or not
And our love is for our family or someone else
We all suffer the loss of someone we love
And so slowly you loss that part of yourself
84 · Oct 2019
Loss of Love...3
Bella-Lee Oct 2019
Family is the only love I see and know
It’s etched into our heart and into our soul
A mother, a son, a daughter, a friend
These are the things that make hearts feel whole.
83 · Nov 2019
Meltdown
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
There are little people in my head and I can't help it if I meltdown,
Their voices are triumph and I feel like I'm dead i know I'm not the one running this town.
I wish I was in control,
But I'm not and now you know.
I need something to make me feel whole,
Maybe I can stop crying then...
83 · Sep 2019
Shallow
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
You didn't get the j-
Ist this sky is turning orange
As the sunsets across the meadow,
And I'm drowning in the shallow - end
82 · Jan 2020
Genie
Bella-Lee Jan 2020
My genie the bottle or magic lamp,
Shall I request your service?
I have a wish or maybe two,
Could you do for me atleast that?

For my first I wish the world,
Was a paradise for all.
No war, no poverty, no killing, no death,
Nothing to cause pain at all.

My second is much closer to my heart,
To be with the one I love and never part.
Love him freely and openly,
Not anyone else.

Do as you please with my third wish,
Give it to someone else who needs it more.
Genie in my hand may I rub this lamp,
And set you free for my wishes?
What would you do with the third wish?
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