Benjamin

Benjamin Jan 2015

the clothes on my back are tighter than my skin

i feel naked
entirely and all over
despite how modest my clothes are
it feels as if theyd been torn open
and off my body
as i drape on layers and layers of myself
i still shake from the hands underneath
and the breath that trickled down my neck
it happens again and again
just the same as before
without warning
and unwelcomed

Benjamin Jan 2015

"isnt he ill?" "im used to it"

i remember a time
when my father was sent to the hospital
certainly for more than a day

i walked my feet under the light of the moon
to wish my mother goodnight
i told her i was going to sleep
she said that she might
and despite the crippling darkness
i could see it in her eyes

there was a love that had been worn
for 33 years
but was stronger than what we're used to
nevertheless, there was a burning crave
for one another like they had been 19
and their love was selfish, curious and brand new

ive never seen my mother so vulnerable
unsure of how ghosts may treat her
will they even visit?
whether shell learn to live without them,
learn to love outside the physical world,
or love them inside, from a distance

*theres an undying love in the foundation of my house

Benjamin Jan 2015

why dont you visit, i need some new company

some days i feel so hollow
that i hear you
even when you arent knocking

Benjamin Jan 2015

no, i dont want another drink, i just want to be clean

i sometimes take
three showers
in a day
my skin may be
outrageously dry
but it doesnt feel that way

yes, it feels cracked
itchy
and broken
but it doesnt feel like a months walk through the winters breath
it feels like
your grin ripping me open

so i wash it away
again and again
in hopes ill remove your fingertips
from my back
the depths of my hair
and off of my lips

maybe ill erase your words
so they arent on my eyelids
and my own tongue
could i rub out your scent
like you rubbed your hands
over parts of me that were unsung

to stop your glance from shackling me down
keep your hips from propelling into me
and take your mouths clasp off my ear
so i rinse off the the dirt etched into my bones
along with the fingernail in my shoulder
and the reasons as to why out of all places,

you came *here.

i told you no but you still did it, i said dont ******* touch me, you did it, so dont you dare look at my like i deserved it

Benjamin Jan 2015

ill dress in my fathers clothes

i told my mother to see
what ive done
isnt it a catastrophe
ive got on my fathers sweater
knowing im just his height
just his size
just as weak
and fading a lot faster than the next guy

my mother never looked
she was always too fascinated
by my father
or at least
whats left of him.

im a selfish little ***** but i still wish he was home

Jan 2015

Kataleya

LOVE HER LIKE

Love her like
She's the raging sea,
Unrestrained and dark and deep.
And you crave her touch
Through aching pores
As you slowly drown in sleep.

Love her like
She's the tender storm,
A lovely shade of grey.
Like with every whiff
Of breath she takes,
She's taking yours away.

Love her like
She's the silent clouds
With calmness floating by.
Like you'd want to make
Sweet love to her
Under the moon's apocalyptic eye.

Love her like
She's the blazing fire,
And you lust the candied pain.
Like she's the disease
That swallowed you whole
And you'd like to die again.

When her gentle touch
Makes your chest explode,
And your addiction is your girl.
Promise you'll love her
Through hell and back,
Or don't you dare love her at all.

#love #poetry #fire #pain #lust #breath #storm #she #sea #promise

Benjamin Jan 2015

i need a new medicine

ive been thinking
a lot more than my doctor prescribed
although its not enough
to **** this pain

but it might **** me.

times are awfully tough arent they