God is spoken about as a loving, senile creature. He is seen as forgiving, gentle, and generous.

As a man, God is a furious fire, burning in the image of sin and pain. As a man, God is punishing and unrelenting.

I've never loved God as a man. All he has ever shown me is what he forbids, taunting what he does not allow in my life as a light to a fly.

He leads me to what he speaks of as my own demise. If temptation is my own fault, what does that say of the man that lead me there? Would that not make him similar to the serpent that tempted eve? To the very force he claims to fight?

I find god in the very things he prohibits. If we see god as an ideology full of love, thankfulness, and happiness, it finds its way into everything God, the man, hates and punishes.

I feel god in the love the man behind it disallows so strongly. I feel god in the yearning and adoration that God, the man, so strictly banishes as immoral.

I feel god in every word I've said to someone I love, the compliments and curses.

I feel god in their every reply, the way they show they care in their own way, carries god from them to me.

God, the man, has always picked apart these phrases for every word, dissecting them for transgressions against Him. He has always controlled who or what my cares are for.

Every crime I've committed against God has helped me find god in its fulfillment, in the enjoyment and love I gain in it.

Every time I feel love, it's a love that God is so strongly against.

The love I give and receive is so divine that maybe God is unable to see it for anything other than sin. Maybe God knows that he never could have designed a love so dedicated and seraphic.

God knows he can't see love so angelic, so he dismisses it as evil.