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Bella Kiilani Jul 2016
Recently, my life has boiled down to, disappointment, drunk texts, and constantly crying in the car.
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
Always say what you feel, and feel what you say.
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
I'm in love with you.
That's what she told him every night.
But she was so ******* blind.
Blinded by love, and blinded by a boy.

You can live up to three weeks without food, and a week without water, but without oxygen you can't make it past 5 minuets.
So, to show her devotion, to prove how true her love was, she made him her oxygen.
Every pulse of her heart she tied to him.
She didn't breath unless he said it was ok.
She only lived and fully experienced moments when she was with him.

Now, one might think, if he was her oxygen, what was she to him?
He liked to pretend she was his oxygen too.
But only when he wasn't busy, or he was bored.  
He filled her head with hope for the future, and a life just for the two of them.  He craved any and all attention, so he played along.
But at some point, he got tired of her.
Tired of her dependance.  Tired of a little puppy dog trailing along.
So he called her up.
He tried to be decent, he tried to be nice, but with a short call he ended it.
He ended her.

Imagine all the air being ****** out of room.
Imagine being held underwater, your lungs are screaming for air, but you won't get any.  
You slowly start to lose consciousness.
It gets black and fuzzy.
And you drift into a deep, lonely sleep.
That's how she felt.

Without her oxygen,  she was dying.
While he was sitting at home watching tv.
You.
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
Do you ever just lay in bed at night, and wonder what you're doing wrong.
#me
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
It's so hard to love without possession.
If someone is your boyfriend or your girlfriend or even your best friends you feel like that title makes them yours.  Everyone wants someone all to themselves.  Someone you can write mine all over and claim as your own. But, the thing is people can't be claimed.  People aren't lunch boxes that you sharpie your name on and than they're yours forever.
You don't need to own someone to love them.
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
I'm starting to forget the way your hand feels in mine.
I don't dream about you anymore.
I'm even starting to forget our memories, and even the little things about you like you're favorite candy bar, or your favorite movie.
You disappearing from thoughts, and from my life.
Now there's an open space for someone new.
Bella Kiilani Jun 2016
We kissed like we were dying.
We kissed like it was the last moment on earth.
We kissed like I was sending you off to war, and this was it.
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