I stubbed a toe today
It brought back unwanted memories
Intense, unguarded, pain shot through me
Like a lightening bolt
A bolt from the blue.

Unpleasant sensory and emotional experience
Transferred themselves to a stubbed toe.
I withdrew my toe
I withdrew myself
I boxed up the pain again.

I wanted to drink away pain, instead it drank me.

Sleep, I've forgotten what that feels like.
Counting the minutes to each new sunrise
Whilst watching the days get shorter
Medicating the pain into the background

Eyes open, each movement screams awake
A thousand needles move under the skin
Weaving this tapestry of flesh and bone
An endless picture of what I've become

Shaking under the strain, the cracks appear
Small, too small to notice darkness creeping
Eroding the wall that holds back the dog
Waiting to charge, waiting to bite

Weeks pass as moments when the pain fades
But like an unwanted guest, refuses to leave
Reminding me that this is not over
Invading my dreams and crushing my will

Pluck a feather from a dead bird
Lost in the middle of the road
There's no place left to run to
There's no where else to go
Map a trail up to heaven
While burning down our homes
And when we get there
If its just a field of dead flowers
And a pile of angels bones
We'll have to hope for something better
Inside our own souls
And that dead bird has found its nest
Hiding in the middle of the road

They fell in love with the thought of being in love

It gets easier to recognize your demons when you're alone again.

Somethings are hard to explain
The pain is to deep
The words are to confusing
They are to hard to say

It is hard to explain how you love
The deepness of how much it costs
The confusion of the best approach
Saying only what needs to be said

It is hard to tell the difference
Between someone you loved
And someone who loved you
Because you were close to both

It is hard to understand that they are right
And hard to tell them when they are not
It is hard to live and not be able to do something
And its hard when you get the courage to do so