Reaching out,
she grabs my ankles.
Pleading for a friend,
she slips away into the dark.

Broken miscommunication,
building on our frustrations,
with the strangers that we live with.

Fabrics of our families fraying,
our history, we love erasing,
anything to break the natural bond.

We don't want to be alone,
but we don't want to share the world,
so instead we live in darkness.

I live for the people I meet,
my neighbors aren't strangers to me,
why close the blinds when you can let in the light?

The world we know lives in the dark,
hoping to avoid that benevolent spark,
that's why I'm here holding the torch.

Lights off,
doors locked,
windows shut,
blocked off.
No sound,
no sight,
no love,
no light.
Sparks fly,
don't ignite,
separation,
blank life.
Years gone,
love lost,
never hurt,
at what cost?

My flame is going out,
and I don't know how to light it.
It's cold inside my chest,
and I just can't ignite it.

Saturated by the love I hate and the hate I love to feel,
I question every word because every word you say might not be real.

And when I lay in bed at night looking at the colors crawl across the ceiling,
I pray that when I wake up the next morning, they'll reflect the way I'm feeling.

I wish I could **** myself,
I just don't have the guts.
I'm afraid of pain so I avoid any form of self mutilation,
I just wish I had it in me to get over the pain and do it because the pain in my chest is so much worse than the pain I'd feel.
I don't hate,
I love everyone,
I love everything,
I just hate my life.
It's been 5 years since my first hospitalization,
they put me on medications,
told me I'd feel better.
It's been five years.
Nothing has changed.
I'm still living the same life,
with the same feelings,
with the same self hatred,
the same indescribable pain in my chest.
I'm just waiting for something,
anything,
a sign,
a glimmer of hope,
a reason to believe,
a reason to finally do it.
This isn't really a cry for help,
just another poem.

Every second we blink is a second we miss,
a second to a minute,
a minute to a lifetime.

Every second we hate is a second with a grimace,
an ugly, twisted anger,
misdirected and ill-tempered.

There's no sense in hating when loving is easy,
see the good in the people,
the heart and the humanity.

But instead we choose not to see these,
and we invite the evil,
right into our souls.

If only we saw the potential we have,
our species misguided,
our love is unbridled,
our hearts undecided,
our minds are divided.

Love is compelling,
enough to move mountains,
till then, it stays dormant,
under rock and granite.

Falling back, I'm losing speed,
please know that I'm not free.
Don't turn around, don't stop and wait.

Tied down, I'm all chained up,
trust me, I've had enough.
But there's nothing here to break my bonds.

I don't expect you to understand,
my brain's not like other men's.
It turns me down, it beats me up.

Metaphysics stretches my mind,
it breaks me down sometimes.
There's nothing here,
there's nothing at all.