the way life used to be
isn't what i miss,
it's each individual moment-
lapsing over and over one another
creating an inconceivable picture
of everything i love,
now lost

you kept me strung up
like a memory
of the death of someone
you used to love
you used me up
you gave me just
barely enough
to keep me there
as a ghost melting
into the memory of
someone I used to know

I cry and I cry
You yell and you yell
"Not good enough!!" You shout. "You could do better!"
I cry and I cry. "I'm sorry!"
White papers fly around the room. Pages filled with various marks, but my eyes are glued to one letter.

*F.

they ask and they ask
i slur my words so they can't ask anymore.
shutupshutupshutup

Chin up. Nose up.
Use good grammar. Use good everything.

nononononono

That's not me.

i don't know where to put you

your hands just under reach my skin
i'm not considered a victim
my bruises are on the inside
and the fault goes to me
i'm not abused

but yet

the thought of even adressing you makes me sad
"the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i ever had"
that line meant nothing until my sleep brought to my attention
my dad
i peel at my sanity
no more than a locked room
your words push me down the stairs
because they never speak the truth
especially when they force out the words *"i love you"

my emotions are confused
my emotions are unused
my emotions are scared to death of his
**emotional abuse

Darling your arms are on backwards,
And your knees are twisted.
Your mind empty,
And your skin paper thin.
Your bones are frail,
And fingers numb.
What're you doing to yourself.

You're no longer yourself.
I miss the old you and I can tell you do too.
What's the point, just make it stop.
Come lay with me.
You've had enough pain to last your life