Awesome Sauce: Favorites

Sep 2014 Awesome Sauce

ALLYN

I miss you like crazy!

This is'nt fair loving you is all I want and you're not here

I daydream about your lips and your gentle touch

partly because I can't sleep affraid of missing your call I tell mista sandman to come back tomorrow.

I think of you all day long you smile brittens my day. I want you here now! today!!

What have you done to me I'm useless for anything else my hours and mins drag on without you. The day seems pointless without you. Your love is my drug and i'm feening. Whitney said CRACK IS WACK but all I want is my drug back. This little time drags for eternity I need you here my serenity. My piece of mind from the tolls of the world my gift of peace that completes me.

Aug 2014 Awesome Sauce

fOREVER

Aug 2014 Awesome Sauce

ALLYN

fOREVER

Everlasting, Eternally, without end. Forever is only where we will begin.

From the beginning you and I were written to be.

Our souls destined to collide in this world of time a mere epiphany.

Forever is where we started you and I on this journey we run.

Forever is where we meet and connect as one it all started way before this lifetime had ever begun

. Looking in your eyes words are never needed. You feel me and I speak just to repeat it.

Lost in time we connect so easily because this is just our favorite memory.

Forever is where we started. Meeting time and time again our souls fall apart just to start over again.

You think you know me and I you, we've been here before standing together knocking at love's door.Each time we connect learning a little more.

Forever is where we started and forever is where we'll end I'll see you next lifetime so we can do it again.

#forever

Aug 2014 Awesome Sauce

THE UNIT

Aug 2014 Awesome Sauce

ALLYN

THE UNIT

Sad, Lonely, angry, abused. On the other side. On the other side he lives on the other side he delivers. On the other side he is. He is the man they love the man. The man of their eye. the man they see is not the man he has to be. Not the man they want him to be not the man the man that appeals to the real which is he. He desire love joy and pain all in one. He desires a her. Her which will hold him. Her which will help him. Her which loves him. she is the missing piece. The one who feels incomplete without him. Her that honors him because he honors the part of him that he sees in her. He raises her from the depths of sands of searching for him. From the endless journeys of lost loves that just didn’t fit as he does. He nurtures her because she is his source of life. He protects her as she grows by his side. He loves her mind body and soul, sometimes all at the same time. When they connect she gets lost in him because she knows that she is him and he is her. When they make love their senses and emotions become one. As she grows she protects him because he is now open to receive her back into him. As she grows she feeds the piece of her that he has lost. As she grows she holds on to him to stabilize the unit of them. She loves him endlessly because she loves herself. She gives herself to keep him strong for her…for them.

#love #true

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

I Don't Care

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

Brandon

I Don't Care

I took a week off of writing. I told myself it was because I was pulling odd hours at work and only sleeping for three hours here and there whenever I was free to do so. I told myself this. All week long I told myself this, knowing that every time the thought crossed my mind that it was a lie. I repeated this lie over and over to the point that I almost was lucky enough to believe it.

But at the end, I couldn't maintain the lie. I was stuck. I did not run out of words and I did not run out of ideas. They were scrambled up in my head begging to be plucked and put in order. I ignored their pleas. I ignored everything. It's a special talent of mine.

The truth that I came to realize was that I had ran out of the ability to care. I didn't care to write. I didn't care about the swarm of nouns, verbs, adjectives, and other elementary school english crap buzzing about in my head; thru my veins. I didn't care if they ever came out or faded into some obscene death. I didn't care any longer if my words continued to be ignored. I didn't care if the couple of people that read them missed them. I didn't care if it showed five days, ten weeks, fifteen years between the last thing I wrote to the most recent.

I didn't care.

I still don't care.

But try to keep a writer from writing and his heart will no longer care to keep beating.

I'm not sure if I even care about that.

*But I'm writing.

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

Pain

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

Rhiannon Grace

Pain

it builds
it builds
it builds
it never breaks
i give
i give
i give
it always takes
i cut
i cut
i cut
the pain goes away
i bleed
i bleed
i bleed
but it comes back anyway

#sad #depression #pain #away #self-harm

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

A Suicide Note

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

Rhiannon Grace

A Suicide Note

there's no use in pretending
i just can't do it anymore
i can't hide what i'm feeling
i'm ending this war

there's no way to save me
i'm falling fast
everything that i thought i could be
well it just didn't last

no motivation and no light
nothing but heartache
it all ends tonight
there's nothing left to fake

there are so many people i'll let go
so many goodbyes
i've moved on, and they will too
there are no more tears to cry

to all my family
especially my dad
i'm so very sorry
i know you must be mad

there was nothing that you could do
it was all on me
i'm sorry for hurting you
in time you'll see

i tried everything i could
to stop the pain in me
it was too dark from where i stood
and i found i couldn't see

not everybody makes it through
this crazy thing called life
i wasn't as strong as any of you
there was just so much strife

i got a little lost inside myself
and started to enjoy the pain
i stopped wanting help
i've literally lost the game

if i had some advice to give
it would be this
learn to live
and learn to miss

because every dark and gloomy day
is so much worse alone
you lose the words to say
don't leave me on my own

when you shut everybody out
the darkness eats away at you
taking away all you once felt
leaving only blue

soon all that's left
is a shadow of who you once were
all you can do is hope you'll be missed
of this i'm sure

in the end
every day was the same
and i lost the will to mend
there was no end to pain

i've struggled so much
over the years
not one thing as such
causing never ending tears

i was addicted to cutting
watching my blood run
using a little sharp thing
to stop all the numb

i started to eat a lot less too
trying to lose a little weight
it wasn't obvious to you
all of my self-hate

i wanted so badly to run away
and start my life again
so i had to pray
that this wasn't a sin

i disappointed a lot of people
i led them astray
now i'm going to hell
i just can't stay

there's so much more
that i should write down
about how none of you saw
my lifeless body drown

i was a little mad
that you couldn't see
that all the happiness you had
couldn't be found in me

none of what's happened is your fault
you're not the ones to blame
if this story's to be told
i manifested my own pain.

this is an actual suicide not that i wrote. there was more to it, stanzas dedicated to specific people and all that. i had no idea it was a suicide not until i finished. it was the moment when i realized that i was a lot more depressed than i thought.

#suicide #sad #depression #pain #goodbye #self-harm #eatingdisorder #self-hate #note

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

to all of the readers now

Jul 2014 Awesome Sauce

Jack R Fehlmann

to all of the readers now

I was to take a few minutes now, to aim my words much more specific this night. to those that know and use and share their own views and emotions on this site, I must offer to you my deepest thanks for listening to my rantings. I know very few actually come across as more than gibberish and the fact that there are others that took the time, read my rabble and even at times shared it with others, to those few I thank you from the deepest, most shocked, insecure recesses of my introvert heart. you make me want to share,, and put it out there. all the things that haunt, empower, surprise, and annihilate me. thank you for taking the time.

just a moment of thanks to those that have taken the time to read my writings. it means a lot

#thanks