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I gave myself to Him—
And took Himself, for Pay,
The solemn contract of a Life
Was ratified, this way—

The Wealth might disappoint—
Myself a poorer prove
Than this great Purchaser suspect,
The Daily Own—of Love

Depreciate the Vision—
But till the Merchant buy—
Still Fable—in the Isles of Spice—
The subtle Cargoes—lie—

At least—’tis Mutual—Risk—
Some—found it—Mutual Gain—
Sweet Debt of Life—Each Night to owe—
Insolvent—every Noon—

I started taking my coffee black
On the day that you died.

Please take off your shoes, you've entered into
The land of Nod Off And Forget
Where people try to get something done
But haven't done it yet

They forget why it is they're here
And nod off in between
They can't remember much of life
Because they sleep through the whole thing

They made for themselves a ruler
But nodded off during the vote
Forgetting who it was they chose
When it was they all awoke

So they wander around aimlessly
Not having figured it out quite yet
I'm not sure they ever will
In the land of Nod Off And Forget

And if someone asked me how much I miss you, & even though words cannot formulate how much my being aches for you I'd say:

"I think I miss him the way how the football field misses the knees of men, as they kneel in victory.

Think I miss him in the way how a child misses her mother's breast, as she has gotten too old for that now.

Think I miss him the way a mother misses the bulge in her belly, after she has given birth.

Think I miss him the way how the playground misses the children, because they're on summer break.

Think I miss him the way how a druggie misses the smell of *******.

Think I miss him the way how a stripper misses the pole after work and the way how a ******* misses being penetrated.

Think I miss him the way how a mother miss her cold blooded, murdered son

Think I miss him the way how the sheet misses lovers after nights of *** only to find out they're lovers no more.

Think I miss him the way the trees miss leaves during fall
And the way how the ground misses the leaves during spring.

Think I miss him the way how the sky misses the moon during the day and the way how it misses the sun during the night.

Think I miss him the way how my lips misses his, and in the way how my finger misses his skin."

And if they ask when I miss you the most:

"I think realize I miss him when the most, when days get rough, and the days when forcing a smile just isn't enough."

I'm afraid of the above
More often than not enough

I'm afraid of the air that I breathe
I'm afraid that they're watching me

I'm afraid of going outside
Whether it's day or whether it's night

I'm afraid of the lurking shadow
Especially if it's my own

I'm afraid of the very fact
Of the courage that I lack

I'm afraid of getting sick
Cause I'm afraid of the medicine

I'm afraid of the outcome
Before I've even begun

I'm afraid I may be too late
Which makes me more afraid

I'm afraid that if I had one
I might lose it and then I'd have none

I'm afraid that you may find
What it is that I'm really like

And I'm afraid that once you do
That you'll be afraid too

Please* don't misunderstand me
I know this had to be done, things
were growing more rotten by the day
and sudden amputation was our only choice, but

I still feel you, like
fingers grazing skin, I feel you
like a heart that never left this chest
I still feel you, and

Though we had to cut away
the decayed flesh of what is
I am still trapped thinking about
what was, and what could have been

My heart is still full of tomorrows
and I need you to know
I will never love again, not the way I loved you
never that way

Each path before, led me to you  
but somewhere along the way, we took a detour
and I can't stop thinking; Is this how it ends?
is this the way true love was meant to die?

Severed heart, bleeding out within my hand?
I'm only human, and there is a limit
to how much pain I can endure
and even though you're gone

*I can still feel you beating in my chest