My heads spinning as if I’m on a carousel twice the speed. I can’t stand and when I do, I falter. The knots in my stomach continute to tighten, like weeds around plants. My fingers vibrate with intensity and my whole body begins to tremble with fear. Heart palpatations, that I cannot handle. My breaths become deeper, my face whiter and skin clamy. I am losing control. I claw at my throat as if I am digging my own grave. Please, let this not be the end. I can’t force my eyes to open they seemed to be glued shut. My scent increases and I smell blood. I’m getting suffocated. Somebody help me. This is agony. My cheek is cold from the stone pebble ground. I try to rub my eyes, it’s a blur as I open them. I blink several times before my vision becomes clear. Alleyway. My legs are uneasy, as if I am a infant trying to walk for the first time. My neck is in pain. I place my hand on my elbow, its oozing with blood. I see a light. My body is in excruciating pain from the fall. I move slowly. Making my way towards the light, it was a pub. My ribcage ached every time my lungs drew in a breath. I recognized my skin tight clothing in the light. Laced up corset. Figures, it was hard to make out. I knew they were people. My mouth opened trying to speak, but my voice was hoarse. Dry like the desert. I could not make a sound. Was this another dream? It felt too much like reality.

you were the unforgiving sun
i was the blood-red rose slowly wilting
you were the trigger of a gun
i was the lost deer - eyes barely blinking
you were the puppeteer
i was the marionette tangled on a string
you were the chaos I hear
i was the stubborn kid left begging

you were the delusions in my head
i was the patient refusing medication
you were the temptations I was fed with
i was the sinner never seeking salvation
you were the eerie howl at dawn
i was the girl with so much desperation
you were the gloomy song
i was the mad one singing in unison

it was you who messed me up
now I am flawed as I'll ever be
this madness will never stop
until someone rescues me

“You seem a little disturbed today.”
“Oh no, just tired.”

I told another lie today.


To live in a world soley of inanimate objects, where one can never cling too tightly or talk too much in fear of it becoming the complaint of another. Everything that you left is exactly in the place that you once left it, in waiting. Nothing resents you for making it wait, for temporarily forgetting about it because you were distracted. All is how it has always been. Plush toys don’t know time, they know embraces and wet sloppy tears and whispers. They console us without uttering a word of advice, which is just a word for telling us what we already know the answer to, but wish that we did not. They listen, or let us pretend that they are listening, because sometimes we just need to pretend a little longer, to dull the pain a little longer. They do not become offended as we grip their throats and tear at their limbs and dampen their skins. They are safe, we make the choices for them.

The lion awakens; The valley is no longer at peace.

Natural order is restored, darling.
Hush, now.

The lion is awake, the lion will prey on the lamb;
You cannot trust that an animal be personified for too long.

Hungry? Feast, indulge.
Tired, exhausted? Dwell in sleep.
Run for the sake of running.
Chase for the thrill of it.

It is a much simpler riddle,
Logical.

Answers come easily.
While personified, sometimes there aren’t answers.
Only questions.