I can see the ocean in my eyes
Almost taste it on my skin.
My soul aches so to be there,
Even though I have never been.
I feel the waves break,
The hurricane is about to start.
This overwhelming feeling
Telling me something from my heart.
It is time to go to my island,
I feel it in my bones
that it is time for me to see
The way of my ancestors,
and possibly....
A new way for me.

First friends,
To best friends... he worked his way up.
Sharing memories and passion.
My heart in his hands... soon he would cup.
My friends they all judged me,
"He only wants one thing...",
"You just aren't ment to be."
I was blinded by love,
I told all my friends to leave.
I had grown (or so I thought)
I now wore my heart on my sleeve.
We were soon to be married,
For some reason he was eager for speed.
I figured I had cold feet so I let him take the lead.
Then one day I came home at an unexpected hour,
In my apartment on my bed he released his secrets to my heart in a shower.
He admited what he had done was bad.
He apologised and cried he didn't think of what his actions would cost.
He was not the only one that day who had something they had lost.
How could I possibly allow myself to trust again?
It is over and done with for him,
A thing of the past... the light on it shines dim.
My heart now hides in this cavity alone.
It had been to scarred from the past for this wound to be sewn.

Ever so welcome beads of rain dance against my face as I run. Faster and faster, until I no longer hear your footsteps.
I look back for you through the trees.
My eyes darting frantically amongst the green wonderland of leaves.
I stop and remove the drenched hair slapped against my check.
Trying to calm my breath, I listen.
All I hear are heavy rain drops bombarding the earth.
Then, "C           
                R            S
                    ­A           N
                       C           A
                          K           P"
The thunder yells and we both scream.
Out you fly... eyes wide with excitement.
Together we rip through the trees as the wind and warm run carries us.
I feel your eyes upon me.
I already know what you're thinking.
I extend my arm as you grab my hands.
We share a stare,
I see a reflection of the adrenaline rush.
Giggling innocently we run as fast as our feet can carry us.
Our arms extended,
Our shirts rustling in the wind,
We are one with mother nature.
We are her daughters,
She binds us.
You will always be my sister.

Rain falls down upon my flesh.
Absorbent as a childs mind, I allow myself to feel where it has been.
The history it has showered over,
The fires it has cooled.

My eyes dance along the soft curves of your lips as you talk.
I shouldn't be so hypnotized at such a simple conversation.
Though it isn't the conversation that captivates me so.
The music stops,
I look up to see you are no longer talking.
A drunken,  "Yeah." Escapes me in hope for a smooth recovery.
I can see the curiosity passing through your eyes.
Your gaze moves down to my lips.
A shy smile kisses the corner of yours.

Before I knew it I loved you with all my heart,
poured my entire soul into you from the very start. Never have I fallen so...
I was scared at first the direction I was going I couldn't tell, I did not know.
I was scared to go forward terrified to go back.
The wisdom and courage my heart needed, it most certainly lacked.
I turned and looked for a place to hide,
even though I couldn't get you off my mind.
Should I give love a chance?
The question swirled through my head..
would it be a heart break or romance?
I saw something move out of the corner of my eye,
I had realized it was not just my shadow by my side. You take a step forward with your heart in your hands. You promised me you were different, but so did the rest.
Then you looked into my eyes and I knew you passed the test.
It was a permanent exchange of hearts between yours and mine.
I remember feeling it then pushing it away as if I was it were a hallucination,
simply a fragment of my hearts imagination.
I took a chance and fell deeply in love.
I think you are what I've been looking for.
What was needed was time and a gentle shove.
I'm not afraid anymore, for I know I am your baby girl and you are my man.
Even though it's something new and I'm a little confused, I will not run.
I know if I were to fall,
in your arms I would land. There's a special love that grows between you and me. A special bond only we can feel,
but the world can see.
Everything is happening so fast
but something keeps telling me I have found a true love of the purest form, one that will last!

The feeding tube had left her mouth a gap.
Allowing her breath to dry, her lips and crack. I dampend the spounge on a stick and applied the moisture her lips severaly were lacking.
I had never seen her like this.  
Helplessness doesn’t suit her, yet she has been wearing it for months now because of me I’m sure.
She opened her eyes.
My heart skipped a beat.
I pull from my transe of guilt and rise from my seat. “Hello.” I say wiping away any trace of tears, but no matter how hard I tried I knew I wouldn’t wipe away the fear.
I wait, watcing her reaction intently.
“Please remember me this time…” I beg her without a single word.
“Pain…” Her voice cracked..
“I’m in pain Ashley.” Her words slurred.
I push the button for the nurse and kiss her forhead. She remembers me this time!
I don’t know what to say beside, “I’m so sorry.” In shame.
15 months ago I graduated high school.... This should be the beginning, not the end.
She cried and I held her head to my chest as I brushed her hair with my fingers.
Something she taught me long ago.
Her loving gestures through my heart will always echo. She helped me survive.
She was my breathing machine.
My morphine.
My life coach.
Once medicated she fell asleep.
She left her pain for now, but the thought that in hours her pain would wake her made me weap.
There was a light knock and the curtain opended.
A lady wearing nice clothes and a gentle smile stepped forward.
“Hello Ashley, I’m Janice with St. Mary’s hospice.” "Hospice?" I ask, never hearing of it before.
She was one of many that week.
After nearly a month, mom woke up.
“I’m tired,” Her dry house voice tried to speak.
Her lips began to quiver against the feeding tube, she was so weak.
“Close your eyes and rest.” I said knowing there was a deeper meaning in her words.
She shook her heard no, tears now streaking her face. “Stop.” She croaked.
I knew she wanted to leave this place.
I pressed the button for the nurse.
“Are you ready to take the feeding tube out mom?” I asked openly, regreating every word.
She looked at me with such big eyes, so much emotion stirred.
Extreme fear, confusion, sadness, feeling I’d never seen her express.
I hated seeing her in this stranger like state.
Imagine the pressure layed upon you, to choose your fate.
In a way, I know, for my job was to figure moms wants and then make her life or death decision.
With her beautiful eyes locked on mine, she shook her head yes.
“Are you sure?” Oh how I wish I could clean up this mess.
She shook her head yes again as the nurse got another stranger. After the nurse gave her more morphine I asked for the number to St. Johns hospice.
Mom started to drift away and I left her with a kiss. They removed the feeding tube.
13 days passed.
Much longer then the doc’s thought she’d last.
No food.
No water.
The repeated question ran through my head, was I a good or bad daughter.
Regaurdless my selfish thoughts, she lay still unable to answer, she looked happier though.
She never spoke after we talked about her choice to leave, how I’d wished she said no.
I lived in complete shame.  
I had lost the best part of me, without her, my body felt lame.
I had to be strong for my sister, whom I’d been left to care for.
I was her stone.
I then lived as a stone.
Brainless, emotionless, cold. How would she have felt to see me living like this….
It would **** her, the thought lingered like a poisonous kiss.
I had to live again. I have to live for the both of us now, the way it had never been.