Two cups of coffee and suddenly the answers are all clear to me

I used to think the moon followed me everywhere I went.
Like a beacon of light guiding me to where I needed to be.
Now as I sit in this car looking a the man in the moon asking,

Where to next?

When you're falling in a forest and nobody's around

It doesn't crash
Or even make a sound

"I have a gun just like the one used to **** John Lennon"

The gun was handed over to me

I held the small unloaded revolver in my right hand, my index finger caressing the trigger as my other fingers tightly gripped the handle.

Pinched between my left thumb and index finger was a single bullet.
imagined how large hole in my temple could be.
I slid the bullet into place.


Pause


Dumped the bullet back into my hand.
Placed gun down
Shook off the thought of suicide

Turned to my brother

"No wonder it always took so long to reload on call of duty hahaha"

Causal.

Death reminds me of silence,
elegance, what I strive to be.
quiet and devoid of noise,
peaceful to the mind.

No tangled mess of emotions,
theres nothing such as pain,
no expectations from society
no meaning, no sound...

floating in the emptiess,
as if one don't exist,
but does it really make an difference
since I will not be missed?