Sometimes it seems
like me and her, we
keep missing each other, one
is high while the other is low,
One of us stays, the other goes
and what goes up
must come down.

It is hard to be here,
Being what I am. What am I?
How are you? Let us talk for
awhile. We are friends, don't
give up on lonely chance for
relationship would not be forced, nor should
intimacy be founded upon a thing as fragile
as mental health if we are to have hope. It's
'cause when I talk to you it feels alright to
be alive. I cannot apologize, "I was gonna
die young, now I gotta wait for you, ***."

"Tell me something nice," I type. Send. Wait.
You're busy. That's alright. Okay.
Moving on to the tough decisions such as "Do I eat or do I a shower?"
Because I really only have the energy to do one.
Lifeless hours.
Suddenly, I'm crying. And I promise I'm not lying when I tell you
that I cannot pinpoint why my words taste so sour
inside my mouth.
You see, my mind is never black or white, day or night, it's a constant gray, a fog in twilight.
And I'm sorry that I cannot explain my brain to you or either of us and that you're the receiver of what thoughts spill out of me and tarnish the mood of the room.
I'm sorry that I'm telling you how I feel now because you always in turn feel the need to somehow repair what brokenness you assume is there. Right above my throat and behind my confused eyes.
(1) New Message - tell me something nice.

I don't fear the monsters
That lurk in the shadows
I fear the ones
That are already
in my head

-hh

Am I insane?
I simply can't tell.
Always chattering away,
but just to myself.

Behind the walls
and underneath the blankets,
there lives a ravenous girl
who dreams up a place
that's not full of loneliness.

overanalyse  the
scene
words
body language

inferring meaning from a
look
sigh
expression

seeing something that isn’t there
never was
fabricated from a shadow
... you think you saw.

sitting where you can see the
whole room
exits
main door


It is just a ****** work meeting
in an office
get a grip girl.

Can you think too much?

#thisjourneyofdays