You want to know what it feels like to be
broken,
broken isn't even the word to describe it,
shattered,
shattered heart,
shattered feelings,
shattered me.
3 AM drunk in the bathroom,
mascara running down my face,
thoughts of all the ways I could **** myself in this very moment.
But I'm already dead.
You have already killed me,
with the way you said you don't love me anymore.
You don't love me you say?
What about the time I brought you sunflowers just because I loved the way your eyes lit up once you caressed them in your arms,
or the time I blindfolded you,
and brought you the ocean,
and made you smell the fresh breeze of the sea because I told you the scent reminded me of you.
Was that not enough?
I gave you the world,
and what I got in return was the pain that struck me when you told me you didn't love me.

If I could hold you
And never let go
I would do that

To feel the warmth
Of your body on mine
Is soothing and serene
Like tea on a cold morning
Or whiskey on a winter night

The feeling of your breath
On the bare skin of my shoulders
Shifts my heartbeat into high gear
And fills my mind with electricity
Making me realize that life is good
After years of thinking it was hell

I remembered him clearly,
the waves of his hair,
when it blew in the wind,
told a story.
His lips,
god his lips,
sanely soft when I caressed mine over his.
He was the kind of man that every woman
searched for,
the kind you think is within an arms reach,
but when you reach out to grasp,
slips between the cracks of your fingers.
And like a trophy,
he was something to look at,
but not something to touch.
He left marks on souls.
the kind where you longed for more of him,
the kind you feel empty without.
And when it's over,
you're left alone,
with the unsettling memory of him.

I bet we're going to kiss like addicts hungry for a hit and I'm sorry I'm not made of much except bruises and bleeding knuckles. Your words mostly touch me but I'm begging for your hands to instead. My mind used to be made up of cemeteries and all I thought about was writing eulogies to how dead I felt inside.
I want you to stain my teeth and leave your taste in my mouth permanently. I want you to swallow me whole and take me daily like I'm apart of your well being like you are for me.
A lot of the time I want you naked and quivering for me and a lot of the time I want you wrapped around me so tightly that nothing could tear you apart from me like this ******* distance is right now. I want my name bruised down your spine so you don't leave yourself in ruins.
This is messy and scattered but so are we and I love you more that I know how to breathe.

I believed you were the one,
till the day I remember
you told me I no longer suited you.
That I was no longer your rose,
no longer your girl.
I woke up to you that morning,
threw my arm on your side of the bed
to search for you,
and you kissed it.
You told me to wear that red sundress you liked,
that was your favorite.
You couldn't keep your hands off me that day.
You said you wanted to take me on an
adventure,
where the wild things are,
and you said I was your wild thing.
We laughed, and we danced, and we ****** all night.
And I wish I could live every second of it again.
except the end.
You told me this was no fairy tale,
and that I needed to wake up.
That I no longer suited you,
that you weren't in love.