She was left to drown in sorrow
with the chilled pavement digging into her knees
with weeping skies and wailing winds
and all the worn down thoughts
stored in the darkest crevices of her mind.

Her lovely skin was forever twisted
beaten, battered, degraded
she was petrified and frozen in time
with the taunting children who danced around her
pitching stones in her face

She savored the darkness
of which always surrounded her
the moment the sun once again left her
suddenly she stood with her arms above her head
and she began to sway, she began to move

Her heart began to beat again
as her body began to warm
and she decided she would be free
with a renewed darkened sense of hope
she ran in desperation to her favorite place

Elated, excited, overjoyed
that girl was impossibly delighted
though she was tremulous and a bit unsure
she was done with being depressed, dejected and alone
Finally she will be too far away for them to find her

-ARI

Its like that perfect sweater
That keeps you warm on icy days
Like the salty ocean water
Hugging the shore with its waves

Its like that toasty winter fire
That heats your chilly hands
Like the never ending thrill
When you see your favorite band

Its like a little childs laughter
That keeps a smile on your face
Like the sweet soulful music
That wraps you in embrace

-ARI

Shes the modern day Medusa
She will make you feel at home
and when everything seems perfect
That's when she'll turn your heart to stone

-ARI

Dear darkness surrounding me,
do me a favor,
And come swallow me.
i cant take anymore of this,
Im falling into your nothingness.

-ARI

Looking out into forever,
to the vast lands and open skies.
Her mind continues to stray,
to her reflection always watching her.
She cant seem to go far enough away
From the saddend lips and darkend eyes.
She tries,
she always tries to forget,
To erase the past that haunts her.

-ARI

So many things I wanted,
So many things I dreamed.
All the things I thought I had,
Were nothing as they seemed.

-ARI

Her wish for life,
A simply beautiful world.
She asked for love,
Never perfection.

To exprience the world,
Slow to settle.

Her time to change,
To live as if life,
were ageless.

-ARI

Reach your arms out for me
When your tired limbs have grown too weak
Fold your trembling fingers into mine
And we will never be lost in time

With each step by step and breath by breath
We will forever strive to do our best
So we may learn and we may grow
Until the day we've said our last hello

-ARI

We're all lost in
a maze known as life,
and were just trying to find a way
around the walls on both our sides.

But every time we think
the hard parts almost over
We come across a barricade
that makes our broken hearts seem colder

The old have "been there, done that"
And the young are left to be lost.
While we're slowly left to wonder
We think not what our own actions have caused.

-ARI

Staring at a blank piece of paper
Sitting in a state of emptiness
My fingers itching with the need to write
To express the intense emotions
Of which are overwhelming me

I fear my heart and soul are soon to combust
Simply because I cannot put these emotions on paper
My body feeling numb from the bombarding memories
Mind feeling almost too tense to stay conscious  
Breathe I must remind myself

Without thought my hand grasped the worn down pencil
Hovering lightly above the waiting sheet for a long moment
Suddenly the cracked tip of lead seemingly begins to whisper
As it moves almost unnoticeably and gracefully slow
Words seeming almost too fragile began to appear

Such relief poured from my tightened limbs
All anxiety gone so quickly it was as if it never existed
Writing such simple words is my safe haven
The vaccine that cured my brokenness
Slowly my smile slips back to where it belongs

Now I cry from relief


-ARI

Lovely little ladybug
Lovely little thing
Lovely little melody
Made from simple dreams

You think you know all you see
But nothing is ever as it seems
You don’t know much of anything
'Cause this Worlds much bigger than you or me

But don’t you worry Little one
We have the skies and we have the Sun
You have my heart now take my Hand
And we can ride to our promise Land

-ARI

I just found out the reason
Of why I hate you so much

Realizing you were the one
Who broke me first

Im not sure why it took so long
To notice the scars upon my heart

To remember the words of which you said
And the songs that you would sing

You pulled me in and wrapped me tight
To give me a false sense of safety

You held my hand and kissed my lips
But I ignored the abuse you gave me

Little by little you shrunk me down
Until you had every ounce of me

That is when you smiled
The cruelest smile I have ever seen

Funny how it takes me seconds
To notice even the smallest things

But it took me years to realize
You were the first to break me


-ARI

Head spinning from the words of disapproval
Pouring from her elders lips
Ears ringing with harsh cackling
Ripping apart her delicate thinking

Having no clue as to who she is
She digs her nails into her tender scalp
Praying she could scrape away
The poisoned memories in her mind

Feeling lost among such ***** rubble
Wishing to dig her way home
To a place filled with wondrous things
She will never have to fear

Though she knows that is impossible
A girl like her will never be free
She is trapped in a system of judgment
Just like everyone else her age

-ARI

Excited is how she feels,
As she watches the hands on her clock
Move closer and closer to midnight.
She knows she has made it,
Lived to be another year older
Even as many had doubted her.
Goosebumps cover her shaking arms,
She is so proud of herself
Until the clock strikes 12.
Then all of a sudden she feels like Cinderella,
All the magic of the night has disappeared
Leaving her to be the same sad girl she was before.
Only now she feels worse,
Knowing she had a taste of wonder
Fearing she will never have it again.
Not sure of what to do next,
She waits for someone to acknowledge her
To let her know her life is valued.
Instead the same thing as before happened again,
She was left alone to sing the saddest birthday song to herself
As she whispered "Hello 19"

-ARI

With my eyes cast upon the floor
I make myself walk away
I don't even care anymore
What those people have to say.

They can think what they want to
I know what's actually real
Because they don't even have a clue
About the way I feel.

They see the scars upon my skin
So they think they know my story
They say Im nothing but a sin
But they've no right to judge me.

Ive done many things I do regret
And have mended a few mistakes
Though I know I haven't finished yet
I keep going even as my heart breaks

-ARI

I watched you when we were younger
I listened to your words.
I played by your rules
And followed you tender laughter.
Years later down the road
We walked side by side always.
No secrets hung between us
Only shared stories surrounded us.
Then one day our nightmares broke free
Of the cages they were locked in.
Now Ive watched you die a hundred times
Yet each time felt brand new.
Ive watched you fall apart
And knew you couldn't see me anymore.
You only felt my arms wrapped around you
Keeping you from falling to the ground.
My words floating around you
Trying to caress your battered heart.
I tried to help you
But you were broken.
Now I lay here helplessly
Now youre gone and I am broken.
Im sorry I let you go
Im sorry I couldn't save you like I promised I would.

-ARI

Beauty beauty,
All around.
In the sky,
And on the ground.

Beauty written,
On a child's face.
Beauty filling,
This world with grace.

-ARI

Seeming to fall from the sky,
Tears of an angel,
As pure as the innocence of a child.
Soft droplets,
Cool against my burning eyes,
Caressing my already wet cheeks.
My tears and sorrow mixing with the rain,
Seeping through my skin and drowning my soul.

The sound of the rain hitting the pavement,
Sounds to me like weeping children,
Searching for their loved ones.
Am I a lost child,
Where are the people I love,
Are they ever looking for me?

My heart sinks for those children,
For the ones who hurt,
For all those who are lost.
I cannot see them nor can I find them,
But I can hear them,
I can feel their pain as if it were mine.

-ARI

Another sleepless night Im having
Bothered by these unfair thoughts.
Crippled by the guilt im feeling
Destroying my once lovely dreaming.

Every time I see her face
Fear rips through my tightened chest.
Gentle laughter now forgotten
Hatred for myself still blooming.

I feel as though Im always followed
Jumping at each and every noise.
Keeping to myself and crying
Learning to hide from my nightmares.

Maybe one day I'll be just fine
No longer blaming myself.
Or perhaps I will never change
Possibly only becoming worse.

Quizzical is my way of thinking
Ridiculous I have become.
Sulking in my darkened shadow
Teetering on the line of insanity.

Unwanted pain fills my soul
Vanquishing my beautiful memories.
Withering away from everybody
Xenophobe I now have become.

Zealous I will never be again.


-ARI

Poetry,
Such a simple word.
Though it carries such meaning
For a broken little girl
Such as myself.

Pathetic,
Im sure is how I seem.
For the nights I cried alone
With red angry liquid
Dripping from my arms.

Relieved,
Is what I began to feel.
When I found poetry spilling
From the bruised pores
Of my twisted mind.

Alone,
I no longer felt.
For as long as I had a pen and paper,
I was always safe and free
I no longer screamed.

Words,
Became my saving grace.
As they formed in the wet ink
I put onto my paper
I could write forever.

Dark,
Is how my poetry is seen.
People always ask me if I am alright
I tell them it should be obvious
That I am.

Paper,
That is what I take my anger out on.
I no longer hate myself
Because poetry taught me
To always write it out.


-ARI

You take my hand,
And Ill take yours.
Give me one last kiss,
Take just one last breath.
Walk to the edge,
And smile big.
Don’t look down,
Just jump right in.
Fall into the cleansing water,
Together we will resurface.
We will bob in the water,
And smile to each other.
Our laughter will fill the ocean,
As our tired souls are renewed.

-ARI

I seem to be
yet again,
trapped by your voice.
Your words acting
As a spindle
Wrapping me tightly
around your finger.

Your "love" seeming
to be,
as a hour glass.
Quickly flowing
Yet slowly dwindling
And soon to come
To a forever ending.

You always leave me
Feeling like,
A doll left alone.
My marble eyes
Shining yet empty
As you gaze at me
From a far.  

-ARI

So many times I've come close to dying.
Its gotten to the point that it seems like death,
Is this horrid creature hiding in my shadows.
She is stalking me,
Pushing me,
Teasing me,
And constantly punishing me.
The few times I barely made it,
I kept waking up with the picture of my best friend dying.
Seeing him become a cold,
Stiff slab of flesh,
Laying on a hospital bed.
I hear his sisters screams ringing through my ears,
And feel her blood dripping down my arms,
From where she held her simple silver razors.
Death has become a tease.
I am tired of waking up with these images,
Destroying my once peaceful thinking.
I should be the one 8ft under,
And I am ready for death to take me.
I am tired of living,
And I am tired of these darkened thoughts poisoning me.

-ARI

Today I saw you,
Possibly for the last time.
Shock was written clearly across my face,
As you walked through the door and into my arms.
My face was buried in your neck,
Your warm arms gripping me tightly to your body.
Ive missed you more than I could possibly explain,
No words were spoken as we stood there.
Your hands gently pulling me away,
Guiding my lips to yours.
Such sweet slow intensity,
Filling me with longing and the fear of losing you forever.
Locking your fingers with mine,
You smiled sadly and walked through the house.
Later as you said goodbye,
You promised me you would come and kiss me one last time.
You promised me you would hold me one last time,
Before you were called back.

-ARI

Lost within herself
Hiding in a darkened corner.
Heavy footfalls across the carpet
Causing her to silently shake.
His smile filled of malice
Her heart drowning in fear.
Maniacal laughter poisoning the air
Her ear drums threatening to burst.
Wrapping his demonic hands around her wrists
Seeming to burn her to the bone.
Tears rushing down her cheeks
Screams ripping from her lungs.
Clothe forced between her trembling lips
Ropes embedded in her skin.
Bruises conquering her every limb
Her eyes swelling shut.
Fingers slowly crushing her throat
Her life slowly beginning to fade.
Not many people consider what happens
To a lost girl in a hotel room.

-ARI

Im just a little bit broken right now
Torn into so many pieces.
My heart is calling out your name
But isn't getting the answer it wants.
I know I should leave you right now
Since I always have to whisper when im around you.
But its easier said than done
Guess Im just gonna have to suffer.

-ARI

Time slowly slipping by my tired eyes,
With every drop of medication dripping through my IV.
The doctor tells me he doesn't know,
When my body will be healed enough to leave.
Needle after needle puncturing my bruised skin,
The taste of chemicals on my tongue.
I quickly grow weary of waiting,
On the pain to finally go away.
Nurse after nurse coming in,
To check my pain and vitals.
Im tired I say just leave me alone,
But they tell me I am not well enough.
The smell of latex suffocates me,
Drilling itself into my memory.
Wires and tubes stretching everywhere,
Ive forgotten where they end and I begin.
What a terrible thing to feel trapped,
In such a clean sterile environment.

-ARI

Legs twisted
Arms bent
Body broken
Head limp
Eyes empty
Fingers tensed
Voice cracked
Grace gone
I am
Just another
Broken dancer

-ARI

Let me go,
Don't hold me tight.
I cant be near you,
Because this isn't right.
You tell her you love her,
Then leave her for me.
Then make me the bad guy,
When shes as mad as can be.
I loved you I swear,
But you broke my fragile heart.
You were mine for a while,
Then your lies tore me apart.
Don't claim you are mine,
Then tell her your not.
Stop kissing my lips and saying you care,
‘Cause Ive found you don’t want me in the ways I had thought.

-ARI

Usually it seems to be,
It would be the older writing to the younger me.
Id be old, bitter, and lonely too,
Then id sit down to write a letter to the younger you.
But in this hour of which Im in,
Iv’e decided to justify my greatest "sin".
To explain what is done will always be done,
And to tell of the things I have lost or have won.

To start off first let me ask you this,
Remember the girl who shared your first kiss?
And how you loved that her vibrant smile,
Seemed too stretch on for a million miles.
One night It seems I had made a "mistake",
The moment I heard my body did shake.
I was blamed for the changes to her beautiful figure,
And cursed on the night she pulled the blackened trigger.

Though now as I sit with my son right beside me
His sweet little presence sets my soul free.
So small, fragile and innocent he is,
I know I need to make the world his.
I spend every hour searching high and low,
To insure my son will always grow.
Not just in a strong physical way,
But into a man he will be proud of from day to day.

Ive thought long and hard about what I gave,
To the mother of my child I couldn't save.
She blamed me for making her body grow,
All the love I had for her never seeming to show.
She blamed me for always letting her be wild,
and for not letting her **** our unborn child.
She claimed her want to destroy him was true,
though it became something she couldn't do.
On the day she went to hand over our newborn son,
She couldn't do it and decided she was done.

I received a saddened call one night,
From a woman telling me my son was alright.
His young mother had written a letter that day,
To explain why she had taken her own life away.
My son was given to me in the morning,
along with a terrifying custody warning.
Though my sins have brought me great pain,
From them my saving grace I did gain.
So never wish to erase the past,
Because for me I want it to last.
I love my son more than anything,
And I would never risk changing a thing.

-ARI

Move with me
Follow me into my spins.
Where the strong smooth texture
Of worn, loved dance shoes
Soften our graceful landings.

Close your eyes and smile
And dream my dream of wonder.
Where the music wraps around our bodies
Guiding our every move.

Laugh with me
Lift your eyes to match mine
Watch me as our sorrows flee
And as our nightmares forever leave.

Move with me
As our tired hearts begin to weep
And our broken souls finally heal.
As the pain turns to peace.

Follow me into my spins.
Where the moon forever shines
And we forever dance.

-ARI

She sits and waits
Begging for that boy to prove them wrong.

He’s never going to come
they all say.
You’re too good for him!
they all say.
You’re wasting your trust.

Please she pleads
Please don’t abandon me.

She waited for him for hours
And sang for him forever,
but in the end
That boy never came for her.


-ARI

I traveled the world today,
With little Ms.Maryk.
We snuck through all the shadows,
And found a magical way.

We climbed to the tallest tower,
And stayed ‘til the latest hour.
We marched ‘cross the murky river,
Then went home to take a shower.

We went to every city known,
To see all of their treasures shown.
We finally met Petter Pan,
He said to never be all grown.

We swam through the wild sea,
And ran from a giant bee!
Oh the fun we had today,
Just ‘lil Marykate and me.

-ARI

Her eyes were darkend pools
of twisted torment.
Her lips were broken lines
of lovely lies.
Her chest was tight and cold
from her heavy hardened heart.
And her legs were
Slender sticks of secret scars.

-ARI

You’re the song stuck in my head,
That plays across the strings of my heart.
You’re the beat I tap with my hand,
The melody I get lost in.
You’re the notes loud and strong,
The notes I cant help but sing to.

-ARI

Don’t forget her,
the girl that waited for you.
She is the one,
the one who saved you.
Don’t forget,
She is the reason you are still alive.
She gave up her life,
So you could keep yours.
Don’t look,
She doesn’t want you to see her drown.
She doesn’t want you to see what you did to her.

-ARI

I smile as it seems to be,
The wind came to play with me.
For I lay in bed,
Ill for what seems like forever.
I cannot move or dance myself,
So the wind and my dreams dance together.
I watch as the humming birds made of lace,
come alive before my eyes.
I love to watch the sweet caress,
Of the lacy blinds against the open glass.
I love to watch as my dreams take me,
Dancing me out my small window
To the open land and tall trees,
To the light in the skies,
And the smell of the seas.
I laugh as I slip away into my dreams,
Now I can dance for myself.

-ARI

Her wish for life,
A simply beautiful world.
She asked for love,
Never perfection.

To experience the world,
Slow to settle.

Her time to change,
To live as if life,
were ageless.

-ARI

With clouds gentle wisps of wonder,
dancing at my fingers tips.
With a gentle freedom smile,
growing on my parted lips.

With lovely little laughing dreams ,
in cotton candy colored skies.
With nervous hope were holding tight,
on airplane wings were flying high.

-ARI

Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Taunting me in every way.
Whispers soft, yet loud and clear.
Rushing through my tender ear.

Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Pulling on my worn out nerves.
Waking up to tortured screaming.
Proof to show that I was dreaming.

Lifeless doll atop my dresser,
Said to be simple cloth and stuffing.
Filled only with white gentle cotton.
Though the depths of her eyes seem cold and rotten.

-ARI