sometimes you just feel ugly: inside and out. and there's nothing you can do about it. no amount of makeup can mask your insecurity and no empty laughter can disguise it. you feel desperately and utterly helpless to the demons in your mind whispering, "you are not enough, you will never be enough." and your brain is yelling and your heart is thumping and your feet are running but you
are
smiling.
why?
because that's what you've always done.

the setup between them
came unexpectant
and fast

forced to hold hands
plastic smiles
in place
   vowing to love
      honor
        and even obey

love comes second
   isn't necessary
for learning to tolerate
was their birthright.

what's wrong with you ?
they ask me all  the time.
i'm wrong  with me ,
i'm too much to live with .

because when she was young,

people would ask her

"what superpower,

do you wish for?"

so without any hesitation

she replied "invisibility."

and then,

and then she grew up realising

it came true.

"Back away." she said.
"My heart is dark, and my mind is no Eden,
I can't let you in, its a place occupied by my demons."

He blinked, startled at her words.
She blinked, surprised at the smile on his face.

"Come closer." he said.
"My heart is ablaze, and in my mind resides hell.
It will be the perfect place for your demons to dwell."

I've tried to **** myself so many times, to make it messy. But who knew that continuing to live would be the exact same as downing the bottle of bleach