“You’re like another sister to me”

She looked at the world through squinted eyes
But the moment she opened her eyes
She saw the world in a wide-eyed wonder and
She could not be content with squinting anymore

Speechless and frozen I sat as tears streamed down my face
The shock still hasn’t faded
Thirteen hour car ride to my favorite place
Only to not see you sitting in your chair by the fireplace

The shock still hasn’t faded
I’m laying in your bed
Surrounded by the smell of you
Swaddled in your blankets, my head is nestled where yours should have been tonight

That day replays over and over in my head
The day you left your voice broke when you said "I can't stay"
The day you left my voice was barely a whisper as I told you "you can't go"
The day you left I found out silence could speak louder than words.
The day you left I realized I wanted you.
The day you left I knew I needed you.
The day you left I told you I loved you.
The day you left is the day I most regret.
The day you left hurts more and more everyday.
I will never forget the day you stopped loving me.

With an expert like flourish of your hand and a deepening crease in between your brows the belt cracks across my face and I close my eyes to accept my fate.

I’ll never believe him
When he says he loves me
Until I leave him

I never knew
I could find solace in this hole
You made in my soul

She had never known heartbreak
She had never lost someone so tragically
She had never cried a single tear of sorrow
Her light shined like a star in the darkness
Her light attracted people from all over
People looked to her for hope, for strength, for courage

While some people wanted to take that light from her
Some people were jealous of her innocence for
they thought it was unfair that they knew so much pain and she did not
Some people wanted to hurt her like
they had been hurt before
Some people despised her because she was content and happy and
they were not

One of these dark souls came to her in a disguise

He was beautiful with dark eyes hiding so many secrets
He was beautiful with his smile hiding so many lies
He was beautiful with his touch hiding his own pain

He was deadly with his heart, the walls built to high for her to climb
He was deadly with his words, breaking her walls
He was deadly with his weapon, a weapon known to destroy all things in its path

She trusted him to keep her safe from all the bad things
He broke her down to build her back up and break her again
She loved him unconditionally as the tears spilled down her cheeks
He watched the mess he made of her with a crooked grin slashed across his face
She knew the pain, she no longer felt content, she no longer felt happy
He disappeared after he watched the flames engulf her
She stayed hidden in the shadows, people no longer came to her for hope or strength
not one single person was there for her after he destroyed her light
The light was too dim, no one could find her and no one wanted to
All good things come to an end eventually
She wandered the world looking for him
She wanted a reason, she wanted to know
She didn’t want to know why he hurt her, she didn’t want that excuse
No, she wanted to know who hurt him, because through all the pain he caused
She still continued to love unconditionally.

how come if he says he loves me I run instantly back
to the one who never even mentioned that?

In the second hand book store,
Among the dusty aisles of monstrous books
You will find a little girl.
She has mousy brown hair, hanging loose and tangled around her chubby cheeks.
In her big brown eyes she holds the endless possibilities of imaginary worlds.
In her hands she is clutching countless books
Some say she looks ***** and grubby
But if you look closely you’ll see that
her books are clean and pristine
For she so loved her books so much that
she was too busy in her fictional worlds
to care about reality

falling fast or falling slow
Does it matter when you’re the only one in tow?

Caution to the wind,
Will I ever see you again?

Tell me which was harder
Letting me go or
Leading me on?