So many nights
I now spend,
begging words
that have no meaning,
to the wall

And from darkness filled of empty spirits to
golden beams of sun
I sit
and wait

But

these eyes won't shut
and these thoughts won't leave
Maybe, i wonder, if- you return
will i be able to sleep again?

I can not stand up and cheer
it's your victory
but I can not show I care
in fact, I can not show my face

because

under the stars
twisting the grass through our fingers, our hands met
when we heard the crickets singing to their friends, our eyes met
and that night, my heart met yours

and since that time
the green grass
and the calls of the crickets
remind me

your heart pushed mine aside
when you called me only a 'friend'

so I can not stand tall
show my face, let you see me blush
I can only support you from afar
I'm only a friend

Here- with me now
I can hear your pain
I can see the agony flowing from your lips
I can feel you watching me

but-  without me later
you'll only have the dark
and
I told you, once, and once again

All you said was 'leave'

So,
I hope in the dark
you can realize
I want to share your pain, feel your agony, and see what your eyes see

I want you,
I want to hold you tight,
I want us to be a team

I don't know how to be more precise

I can't leave, I can't even let you go
*I'm in love with you

You tell me no
You scold me,
scream at me,
give me all the pain you've got.
But,
I told you I could endure it all,
and now I need to test my strength.
Mark my words
your pain is
all mine, equally so.

We are a pair
don't you remember
interlocked chains of silver and gold
you told me
we held each other together

now you're frayed
and losing time
I need to remind you
I'll succumb without you

so let me be our strength
guide us towards the sun
trust me
together- we've already won.

There's either too much to say
or too little
We have no happy medium
We're at a fork in the road
You're telling me to go to the right
But you're not telling me why

If I depend on you,
take your hand,
close my eyes,
will you leave me on the side of the road
or will you push me off the edge?
I want to believe you'll pull me close, lead me around the ditches,
stop me from stepping in the highway

I need you to know the extent I will depend on you
and I need you to understand what I see and feel

And that's my greatest fear
I've slithered through the barrier and I've already trusted you
And you don't know me for who I really am
And now everything, every touch, every tear, all depends on you.

sunday I want pain
monday I want to delve into the darkest part of night
tuesday I want time to soar, drop me in the land of happiness
wednsday I want to feel the hatred you have for me
thursday I want to hear the drip of a faucet and nothing else
friday I want you and me
saturday I want my throat to beg for my screams to stop

all week
it's because of you

and when you decide to have me
everything disappears
and the only thing I have is
your touch
my fingertips
and a quiet mind

oh I need you
gone or here
not in between
why
because, you make me crazy

I've reached the end
and I have two options

I can turn around and find a new path
which requires risk and courage
and once I find a new path
how do I know
I won't fall

I'm tired
and I hear all the voices
saying 'I can't make it through this'
my head has been pounding
so really, why should I turn around

The second option is to jump
I see the waves
the endless blue.
it terrifies me,
the tug of ocean pulling my body,
but ,
it's an outcome,
and I won't suffer for much longer.

what should I do?