there is a slow burn that
irritates from within

my only relief is drinking
from the living water
that quenches my thirst

I would've given birth
To you,
Endured whatever
Mothers do.
Instead, I did
What Dads do.

I rocked you
Til my future shook;
Watched you til
I couldn't look.
As you changed,
I changed too,
To do the things
That Dads do.

You were bathed,
Dressed and fed;
I loved you so much
I was saved.

If there's credit,
Well, I get it,
For teaching you to read.
I took the blame
When you got bored
With school's ABC's.

I followed you
In all your roles,
Your teams,
Your solos,
Your trips,
Your shows.
First to clap,
Last to sit;
I taped it all,
From start -
To finish.

I taught you
How to tie a lace,
Ride a bike,
Golf and skate.
When time arrived
For you to drive,
You learned
On standard,
Never stranded,
You came home alive.

Your highs
I took in stride,
By example taught
Humility's pride.
Your lows,
I couldn't internalize,
I dropped my guard
With my eyes.

When Dad's do well
It's a double edge,
The future wedge.
The world
Revealed
Desired you too.
I don't dismiss
What mothers do,
But when Dads do well,
Both lose you.

i was dreaming about hold my grandmother in her last second time and then she died and everyone cried. and it feels so real i can't barely breathe and when i woke up the whole world feels so strange for me.

   i hate my *mind

The tiger creeps up
To the bank where fishes sleep
And catches his meal

the tiger lies down
In the blades of grass and reeds
His eyes are weary

The tiger wakes up,
Stretches like all felines do
Takes a silent step

The tiger hunts prey,
Stalking it so patiently
Then strikes with full force

The tiger eats now,
The days struggle is over
The sun feels so warm

The tigers happy,
Living as all tigers should
Freely and uncaged

The life it give
The life it took
From all beginnings
The Earth been shook
When one answers
With a book

Void of poison
Inside is where
We look