I tested the waters
Finding them satisfactory, I walked into the shower without reluctance
and stood, staring straight down at the drain, watching it all wash away.
Laughter, pain, remembrances, time spent
disappeared down that hole quicker than I would ever have imagined
or dreamed
or feared.
So as the water flowed over my open skin I didn’t even feel the pain
the stinging fire that burns for a few seconds, leaves, then returns
just like her.
I didn’t feel that stinging pain
I was already numb by then
just like I always am.
Then I noticed the water flowing down my face, it reminded me of tears
and how long it’s been since I’ve used them.
I was never really good at crying
my childhood robbed me of that
this simulation of tears is all I get.
Then, I realized
just like I do everyday
It’s a good thing she hates me too
like she always has
with so much love.
But it makes me stand in the shower for another forty-five minutes
as I scream silently
as loud as I can without opening my mouth.
How could you just give up?
Was I never enough?
I simply remained, wishing with all my might
that this shower would be my brief respite.
Please, just wash all of our memories away
I continued to plead
allthewhile knowing that it would be impossible for me
and that I’ll alway be here
helpless
for whenever you need me again

I've told you time and time again
Not to run from your fear

Every time it catches up to you
(It always does, eventually)
You're so tired from all that running

And one day you'll be too tired to fight

All is bittersweet.
Everything
Has consequences...

...So watch your steps.

One day

All the problems we've ever had
will be meaningless
and rustic
and unfortunate
and laughable

One day

We will realize war was never worth it

One day

We will invent an eraser that rubs off scars

One day

The time we spent pondering and thinking
All that time no one bothered to record...

Our tears,
Sweat,
Fear,
Idiosyncrasies,
Weapons,
Secrets,
Patience,
P­aradoxes,
Listlessness,
Silent anger,
Struggles...

Our smirks of judgement directed at others,
Our sobs of judgement directed at ourselves...

One day, all of these things will mean nothing
except that they served their purposes
to get us to the present
and gave us a **now.