I dreamed of love once
It was a schoolgirl's vision
Trapped in adolescent fantasies
Not even well seasoned
Just a passing fancy
Of imagined actions kisses and emotions
If only I didn’t know then
What I don’t know now
I’d be ****** brilliant
But youth has a special lie
It speaks to itself
That somehow what it thinks
Is profound and meaningful
Ahh youth, your lies were so clever
Even you believed them
Until finally the years crept up
And did impart some wisdom…
But at a very great cost
Then eyes were opened
To all new thoughts and possibilities
Until finally it was understood
That youth truly is wasted on the young
And so age will long for youth once again
But not at the price of hard earned wisdom

I remember
Our last words
Etched in my brain
And on my heart
You kept saying my name
Over and over
Questioning
But I couldn’t answer
I couldn’t tell you
How much I cared
Because I knew
You didn’t
I wonder if you heard
My tears falling
As we said goodbye
For the last time
You made promises
You never intended
To keep
And I knew it
I knew we were over
Before we’d even begun
Because that’s the way
You wanted it
But not me
I wanted it to go on
Forever

I can see all the messes
In my life
The ones I made long ago
And the ones
Other people made
Of my life
Of my innocence
Of my trust
And I want to scream
With the injustice
Or perhaps exact revenge
But those chances are long past
Covered over by years of secrets
Lies, and therapy
I really have moved beyond
The pain
But every now and then
The trigger will come
My skin will crawl
And I’ll despise you
All over again