It's cute,
I walk with my eyes to the ground,
Apprehension in each step,
Nervousness with him around.

It's cute
When I get lost in all my thoughts.
I cant find the words to say
So I just say that  I cannot.

It's cute
The way I second guess each word;
The way I struggle every day
With the thought of being heard.

It's so **** cute.
When I laugh away my pain.
So does it even matter
That I'm going insane?

It's cute
When my demons come and grab me by the ears
Tear my heart out of its chest
And they always fulfill my fears.

They're cute,
The endless tears on sleepless nights
When the visions surround me
And I've no energy to fight.

It's cute
When reminders of my past
Send me reeling into memories
Of all the pain that I've amassed.

It's cute
When I can't speak out loud for days
When I'm glued down to my bed
In a brokenhearted daze.

I guess it doesn't matter
Because its absolute:
Even if it kills me
My pain will still be cute.

My head spins when you appear.
As it always has.
Back when I loved you, when you were near,
My balance off and sight unclear,
I would hold you close to my heart, so dear
Until you turned my love to fear.

My stomach churns when you arrive.
As it always has.
I used to think that you kept me alive
That without you, I couldn't survive.
But every time I'd start to thrive,
You'd pull me down. And nose dive.

My hands shake when you're nearby.
As they always have.
Like before, when I bought every lie.
Because "our love could never die".
But, of course, I could never satisfy
The man who loved to make me cry.

Still fearful (although you've gone away),
But I'm stronger now.
After suffering through you every day,
Through every single power play.
I finally have the strength to say
One day I'll forget you, but at least for today,
I hate you. And that's okay.