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 Aug 2016 andrew juma
Angel
I let my insecurities get the best of me
Maybe that's why I keep so many of you next to me
I just want someone to show me why they're the best for me
Just want someone to prove why I should leave the game and just have them lay next to me
Instead of sitting here and playing all these boys in front of me

Baby I'm really trying for you because I'm obsessed with the way you kiss me
But I really like the way that he misses me
And I really like those moments when I catch him with his eyes on me

And I'm scared that if I let you see all of me you'll hate me
And I don't want to feel vulnerable because that ain't me
So I'll push you aside until you start to hate me
Then you'll see how my insecurities have shaped me.
She told me she was incomplete
she stared at me and cried.
We tried to fly so far away
And sink into the sky.

Nothing ever took my breathe away as much as her.
So I took every action just to see inside her world.
If I were lost I'd find a hand to blindly pull me through.
she kept this land more secret than the places that I knew.

More colors than I've ever seen some new inside of me,
Her energy surrounded us and swept me off my feet.
So now I fall upwards away from anything she was,
I asked myself if she would love me, now I know she does.

She asked herself if I was there
To free her from her dream.
It seems to be that I was sleeping now It's only me.
I ask myself again if I knew her from down inside.
An hour passed and then at last her memory had died.

I knew I was so incomplete
Alone I woke and cried.
A half forgotten memory
Of a woman not alive.
 Aug 2016 andrew juma
Rina
Untitled
 Aug 2016 andrew juma
Rina
I don't know what's wrong with me

I always think I know what I want then once I get it I suddenly don't want it anymore..
I wish I knew why I was like this
 Aug 2016 andrew juma
ryn
Nightwatch
 Aug 2016 andrew juma
ryn
Watching...
The night
enter a fresh new realm.
The same day is cast in different hue...
Vibrance in colours dissipate...
Siphoned,
consumed by the dark.

Watching...
And feeling my presence
blend into nothingness.
This night reeks of
blatant nonchalance.
Careless shadows stretch and dance
as I wrestle with my vision
to determine mindless silhouettes.

Watching...
The trailing taillights
of nocturnal traffic.
In my city that never sleeps.
They simply disappear into the dark
with each tick of the hand.

Watching...
The half moon,
eaten away by the void.
Minutes elapse into eternity.
And seconds beat hard
upon my bastion of hope.

Watching...*
The ground
that lay quiet before me.
This earth that bears my weight...
This earth that has my shadow
shackled to my feet...
Offers nothing but quiet solace...
Fighting to calm the storm
in my head.
Your gravest danger
giving up
ceasing to believe
I can still do
wondrous things
in your world.

Keep moving forward
depending on Me
trusting
expecting  a path
to open before you.

Refreshingly new

Behold
I will do a new thing

I am making a way
a way in the desert
and streams
in the wasteland.

Cj 2016
Isaiah 43:19
We must never lose hope
I pass myself off as a replica.

previous applicants need not apply?
why?

are we just fodder for cannon when needed
and when needs arise
who dies?
not them tinpot general men
it's us
and then the telegram's sent
to the family?

I suppose they just text telegrams today
it's another institution that passed slowly away

there's much to be said for the personal touch
but we don't get too much of that.

On Sunday I usually hate Sunday
which is the day before what I call
no fun day
a monday
and I want it to be Friday

I'd like it to be Friday in
nineteen sixty nine
but likes are like time mines
they blow up in your face,

that's why I pass myself off as a replica,
I never knew the real me.
My friend.
I think of you and would love to take away all the pain in your eyes.

My wish is you find peace within yourself and remove your fears,
and you become amazingly happy without stress and worry.
Then you will find the clarity to see how blessed you are in many ways.

Then you can see it is the journey.
Each day do what you can, and don't judge it.
It is gone.
Look forward to another day, other experiences,
and another page in your life.
You get to choose what it will be, and it will be perfect because it is. You can do this. You can do anything.

We set up goals, but they can become hurdles,
then barriers to our feelings.
They become ends with nothing next.
We made it, what now?
We are unique beings and can choose our path.
We can be happy, or choose to only be happy if certain things happen. I would rather just be happy.

Life sends us terrible tragedies sometimes.
Things that tear at our souls and make us doubt our faith.
That rips our heart out and leaves only despair.
I know this feeling. Oh, do I know this feeling.
If we can let go of our fears, try and make sense of our lives,
we can mourn, then remember the joys of times we shared past.
The wonderful days we had.

Or we can hold on to this terrible pain all our lives, let it define us. Even let the terrible pain take over and let it shorten our lives.
We can do that. We can do anything.

It is when we forget who we are, and feel we have no control over our lives or happiness, we are lost.
Become a victim. Why me?
I am cursed, god has abandoned me.
So we can wander in the wilderness for 40 years, or we can find our way.
Maybe someone will guide us.
We can search forever or we can find a teacher.
We can do this. We can do anything.

Sometimes we feel trapped, and accept our fate.
Nothing we can do.
We have so many obligations we have to do.
So many things we can't let go of, all the things we can't change.
This means we feel there are so many things we must do when we don’t.
So many things we won't let go or are afraid to change.
We can do this. We can do anything.

I can't tell you what to do.
I can't tell you which path to take when you come to a fork, a choice.
I hope you will actually realize when you are making those choices.
No matter what you think, you control your life,
unless you decide to give that power to someone else.

So I hope you choose your paths well.
And if one of them comes near me, we can share some magical moments and I recognize them as being special.

You decide when you move, when you pause, or when you stop.
You decide who you will shine your light on;
Who you share a piece of your life with.
You can do this. You can do anything.
I just hope you know when you are making a choice,  
that it will take your life in one direction or the other.

And I hope you choose happiness.
If you let go of the pains and worries you hold so tight to your chest, you will be free to attract those things in life you need.

And then dream of the things you have found so elusive,
the things that will complete you, and they will come to you.
Life is a journey, not a goal because when you reach a goal, it ends. Your life doesn't end now, but it is easy to get lost again.
You think, I’m here, where do I go?
But you can do this, there is no right or wrong.
Who has the power to decide that if not you?
We live with those choices.
You can do this.
You can do anything.
Never forget.
Wrote this to a friend who was troubled. I read that Leonard Cohen worked so ******* his poems. Struggled with a wrong word, a break in the feeling. For weeks, even months. I love his writings and songs. I am happy I don't do that, I would never have the patience. I sit down and sometimes a story comes out. I may correct spelling or words, and then post it. I admire those that display such attention to detail in their works. True poets. I am an empath and just write down feelings when they come. I am no poet or writer. This is the first thing I posted because my friends on Facebook liked it. It brings me happiness when someone says it helped, and I look for nothing else. Richard
 Aug 2016 andrew juma
Peggy Pearl
How could you, how did you?
In a few months that our so called was created.
How can I hate you and miss you so much?
My point, your point, was there even any point?
One blow after the other,piercing into my fragile heart.
Like an opponent I waited for the bell.
Even as I write a blow just waived through.
I tried to go down and you followed me,like a scorned child I opened the door
As I moved up you came throwing a lie of forgiveness.
I accepted as my heart was shielded by fake reunion,fake wishes flying on our heads as we lied to the world.
How could you, how did you?
The unshakeable me was shaken to a point of no return today
From your desire to hold on to my drowning self to survive
How could you hold on to me?when you new I could not swim?
As I drown kicking and screaming,I can still feel your hand pushing me down
My so called Nemesis/friend/killer
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