When I fell in love with you
It was like the Big Bang
A celestial cataclysm
And the world was no longer blank

And you were a paint brush
And all it took was a small splotch
To fall and color rippled across the page
Ambiguous like Rorschach's ink blots

And you were a match
A catalyst for the spark
You burned the bubble wrap
That was restricting my heart

You were first life
In a cold and barren land  
The bud of a rose
Bursting through the ash

And you were an explosion
The Big Bang which created the cosmos
Before you there was nothing
Until you were all there was

An hour ride on the 121,
I kinda hoped for a one to one..
'cause I had to be sure if I was right
But now that ship has gone and sailed,
your heart belongs to someone else
but I wanna know if he'll treat you right..

So maybe we should stay on this bus
No don't get off
We'll listen to all those songs you love and recommend
Oh God..
I've got this song in my head and you're the words I won't forget
The time could pass,
but a friendship like ours should always last
so let's rewind..

'Cause when the sun sets,
you're my blue moon..
in the neon sky
And you're the safety net I've fallen into,
I've fallen for your eyes
So can I hug you tighter?
And for longer if you don't mind
'Cause until that sun rises,
you're the prettiest star in the sky

&Yesterday; you got that text,
thinking 'What do I do next?'
Well give yourself a break
before he does that to your heart..

See you don't know what you deserve
'cause you don't know just what you're worth
and I don't know where this could go, oh no but woah-oh-ohh

Stay on this bus, til I get off,
I'll turn the music up so it's enough for us..
I've got my head in the clouds,
and all these roads they lead to you
and now I'm writing this song,
but don't be alarmed,
it's part of this journey that I'm always on,
the road to heartbreak again..

But now I'm thinking about you,
as the sun sets in the sky
'cause you're the safety net I fell into,
I've fallen for your eyes
And I just hugged you tighter,
you laughed and said my hugs were nice,
well that's funny seeing as you are,
the most unreachable star in the sky

Like half written symphonies I wait for you.

I wait for you
like an empty house
so you come and build yourself
in me.

I wait for you
like the flowers wait for spring
to bring them
back to life.

I wait for you
like the rush of blood
my head needs
to feel alive.

I wait for you
like the warm earth
needs the kiss
of soft rain.

I wait for you
like the souls
that walk this earth
waiting for release.

I wait for you
like the heart
that needs a score
to play.

Like purity for
true love,
I wait for you.

I wait for you.

My ribcage protects the heart
Constricting the love that's overflowing
And slowly dripping out
All to avoid any possible blows

My ribcage does not protect against
The stupidity of my brain
Who fell for the kind of boy I was warned about
Because of the one ***** that can't feel pain

And your hands became my ribs
They held my heart tight
My heart was in your palm
And I prayed you'd treat it right

Turns out you had a collection of hearts
Each varying conditions
So you put my heart in your back pocket
And it entered decomposition

The ribs protect from physical blows
And without even touching me
You've reached past my ribs
And stole the breath and love out of me

I refuse to stay silent
I've participated in the day of silence twice now
The first time in 8th grade
We got cards that explained why we weren't speaking
I stayed silent the whole day
And felt quite special about it too
Lunch was a long game of charades
And I thought to myself
"I can't wait for the next day of silence."
And I hardly thought about why I was being silent
To begin with

9th grade I did it again
I brought a whole pack of sticky notes with me
And by the end of the day,
I felt the need to plant a tree
To pay the world back for all the paper wasted
I broke my silence by lunch time
Because my friend needed to tell me
How much she wanted to ask this girl out
And I wanted to ask this boy out
And I went home that night
Hardly thinking about why
I was (mostly) silent that day

April 11th would be my third year
Participating in the Day Of Silence
If I was participating
Which I won't be
Not become I'm homophobic or anything
Oh, no
But I began to think about being silent
And what it accomplished
What does it accomplish?
I realize it's supposed to be symbolic
Of LGBT youth whose voices are forever silenced
Because they decided their life should end
On their own terms
Suicide is a taboo word
A stigmatized topic
I'm not gay, or bi, or trans
But there are nights
When suicide looks easier
But I can't tell anyone I feel like this
Because no one likes discussing ugly things
And we'd rather live with the pretty lies
And it's much easier to fake a smile
Than lose all my friends
So what kind of message are we sending
When we stay silent on subjects like suicide
And students stay silent
Because they don't want to speak in class
And then feel like they're doing the world a favor
Making some political statement
I want to tell the story
Of the girl who got kicked out of her house
For bringing another girl home
I want to share the tragedy
Of the boy, bullet in brain
Because he was born a she
I want to be the voice
Saying "It's okay."
Not censoring my words
Maybe I'm misinterpreting
What the Day Of Silence is all about
But at least I have the power to say
You will never silence me

Say it once and I'll
believe it
say it twice and I
won't blink
Say it three times I'll
besiege it
Keep it silent, I'll
relate

there is always that space there
just before they get to us
that space
that fine relaxer
the breather
while say
flopping on a bed
thinking of nothing
or say
pouring a glass of water from the
spigot
while entranced by
nothing

that
gentle pure
space

it's worth

centuries of
existence

say

just to scratch your neck
while looking out the window at
a bare branch

that space
there
before they get to us
ensures
that
when they do
they won't
get it all

ever.

I want write you a poem
to explain how I feel
I want to translate my thoughts into words
Because this is so surreal
but all I can do
is write this
to you