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To be free

I'm waiting for the day
When I am ok
With just being alone
Just me in my home
Will the day come when I don't think of you
Do you think of me
I'm still under your spell
I need to break free
I look towards the pillow you used to rest your head
I get so angry I want to burn up the bed
Everything reminds me of you
No matter where I go or what I do
I'm waiting for that day
When memories of you have faded away
And I can be happy
Just being me
Some lies are of omission
remaining deep inside
others pour down like rain
without a place to hide

Although they are quite different
their quest may be the same
to find a place of safety
to  help silence their shame
Please know I love you
For all that its worth
Had I the power
I'd slow down the Earth
Keep day from the night
Our lovers moon never setting
Knowing I can't is truly upsetting
You've a piece of my heart
I'll never get back
But the Earth is slipping from my grasp
I can't hold it back
I don't want this to end
Our love or this night
So every sunset
I'll hold back the Earth
And pray for endless night
As I sit here and think about
What I should write

I think about love
I think about life

It's what's inside us
That makes us write

There could be a reason
Or it could a fight

No matter the reason
We continue to write

It's what we do best
It's part of our life
Porcelain angels
are delicate things
and darling,
you broke
your own wings.
I keep
forgetting to
forget you,
neglecting to
regret you.
We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.
It's worth it though.
Rolling in the car
family by my side
looking out the window
watching other journeys pass me by
On the pharcyde I see
another kid liking through the window at me our eyes locked I was shocked I was looking at a younger me
maybe I'm traveling down the highway
but in the rearview are my memories
Just something to think about... Ya know?
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