Months of sweating
vetting every word written
Shivering over all
that remained hidden

Rocking back and forth
Recognising the demons scream
Asking to be fed more
Inside of empty dreams

Then the words, they spill
from cracked and broken lips
bleeding onto tissue paper
inking stains of fatal trips

Then comes the rush
a verbiage of torrential pain
Crouching on a backlit screen
pockmarked with finger stains

The first spike of adrenaline
fizzes inside a broken mind
The churning end to a journey
that has completely left you blind

Collapsing in upon itself
is the high that's found a low
and when the reader is gone
You wonder where you'll go?

Perhaps you'll find a new pusher
Someone else to feed your pain
Someone that will dig that needle
deep
even deeper into the vein

I'm very good at pretending to be happy
But somehow you know I'm sad
When no one else does

My heart is very broken inside me
But somehow you mended it
When no one else could

I'm easily tired of this world and its people
But somehow you make me smile
When no one else can

I'm very good at hide and seek
But somehow you found me
When no one else did

Like rain drops plunging
into puddles
this only echos outward.

I can feel it vibrating
the harrowing space
that separates us.

Ripples repeated
trickling with the notion
that it's moving...somewhere.

Slipping into
subtle transformation
that we pray is growth.

Obsorbing within us
like rain drops dancing
bound together by spirit.

Held back so many tears, I'm afraid to cry.
I might drown in the overflow of pain I've hidden deep inside.
Sometimes it dawns on my heart,
making it beat unkind.

My lungs start to quiver,  I'm dying on the inside.
Held back so many tears, why do I even try.
Been battered by this world and my thoughts,
maybe it's time.

Let it all go.

Dissolve in yourself.

Tired of reading the world and trying to figure it out.
I just want to sit and breathe, and be myself.
Without worrying that this chair might not actually be a chair.
Can I just be ?

Can I just exist without anxiety ?
I fear this world,
this big scary world.
Having a hard time trusting this reality.

My vision goes blurry from the insanity,
but i blink it away and swallow the cry.
Knowing that one day it will be alright.
One day I won't wake up scared to face this sentence.

Truth is I'm all alone but I am completely surrounded by life.