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You ask me to believe in you,
To trust you,
To love you,
But how can I do those things
When you are a mere chat window
On my laptop,
And the only way I can see you
Is through a small video clip
On a blurred phone screen?

You and your empty words.
Sometimes I wish
You would just leave me alone
So I can rejoin reality.
I am invincible to society
I am the one who wears a dollface
Smile when it seems right
I have talents no one see's
But I do have someone who loves me
Falling down is easy, getting up is hard
I'm afraid to shoe them who I am.
I don't belong, I can see it in there faces
No need to hide, you can't break me
Eyes low
body barred
head heavy
legs locked
thoughts dry
cant see the sky
can't even cry
would rather die
whole body is in
stasis time doesn't
go by anymore, the
clock stays at 12:12
with the flowers
saying "get well"
and the machines
lights flicker on while
I want to speak and say
can only hear can't play
I wish she could stay and
care but she only stops once
a month now, If I could frown
I would but I can't so I'll pretend.
I wish you understood how I feel or
maybe lack thereof since you don't know
if there's any thoughts left in there where your
one and only used to be. Sitting in this hospital
tee where I want to be is at home just you and me.
Someone please let me free.
Its hard to sit here
And not believe everything that I think
But my mind cant be trusted
When your words are like led paint
That you inject into my spirit everytime we talk
And I know its raining outside
But I really think we should walk
And will you hold my hand
When im electrocuted?
My mouth is a radio
My mind is a television
Ive never been original
Only regergatared
Ive never been original
This heart will always be contaminated
He asked me "when you go to sleep
Do you dream of electric sheep"
If anyone lacks empathy
Its you not me
Your insides are numb, ive always carried your pain
Now im looking for the remedy
To melt my static brain
But everyone has there ways
Of turning the world around
And im just trying to keep up
Before I crash into the ground
if you come to me
I will show you my cupboard
photographs, paintings of old days
dead butterfly, dead firefly
torn snake skin

old is never gold,
pain and anger.......................

broken leaves, dust around
dead grasshopper
dead caterpillar, owl and mice
moon
beam
playing alone

far away
pallbearers carrying the coffin
at the funeral..............



(C)asoke kumar mitra, march,11,2015 :21:24
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