blessed am i not
with a free-roaming mind
to the darkest secrets of life
haunted by their existence
weighed down by chains
chains of false hope
chains of the unreal

i open my mouth
reveal myself
their faces not accepting
my chains lifted from me
angels carry me away to
my safe place
my taboo harbor

the faith which binds them
is all but a mere smither
in the world of millions
in this taboo harbor

You ran your hands through your hair
Just as you do every day.
Closed your eyes for a moment
Took one last inhale
Before you shed your certainty.

You stood before me,
Vulnerable.
Your voice shaking,
The absence of confidence
Tangible.
I sat there in a daze,
Twirling my hair around a pencil
Then untwirling
And twirling it again.
And as your soul extended out to mine
I felt an internal warmth
A flutter through my core
Its tickles radiating through my face.

And as I turned to you
You were already there
Your eyes met mine
In a moment of silence
A moment of solitude
A smile painted along
Your beautiful face

As we simply stopped
And stared,
And started.

I swore I'd never be that girl
I'd keep my backbone
Watch from the stands
Armed with popcorn
And an extra-large slushie
Kick my feet back,
Enjoy the show in front of me
Watch those foolish teens
High on hormones
Fall in and out of love.

I swore I’d never stoop down to that level,
Lose everything
For unforgiving heartbreak.
I would stay
High above
In my impenetrable
Throne in the clouds.

I swore I’d never
As those three words
Ran across my lips.
With an “and I mean it”
Tacked on at the end.