I am the unfolding  transformation
lifting you from the bottom of
the garden.
As there was a time when I
was obsessed with just money
and survival when I sluggishly
crawled constantly feeding.
Imprisoned by my body my flesh
I could not transport myself to
a higher thoughts or place.
Many parts of my life covered in
darkness I nestle quietly in my
chrysalis.
As I tuck myself in my own sheets
I collect all the food of past experience
and wait for a transforming party
to begin.

My back broken by an anvil I
used to carry now, letting go I
see it falling my back starts
healing.
Time i spent counting money I
now spend smelling flowery
perfume.
Take a glance into me you will see
the power of my spiritual eyes that
attach above and behind me.

Look into me and you will see
that i am a lot bigger than my body.
I live such an innocent way, but
the enemy is shocked frightened
away when he see the size of
the real me.
As a ignorant predator may foolishly
fear me but the better informed see
all my beauty.
Filled with colour my spiritual eyes
give me wings help me fly.
  
As I float I surrender to the joy
of a puppets dance as I am pulled
by strings not from this earth.
I show the world that change is
created not by a sledge but by a
little polish or feather duster.
As I lightly spread my change
with the softest touch.
Whether inside or out i spark a
permanent change with touch
like lovers kiss.
All the forces that I push to an inner
change are reflected in the
colour that springs outwards.


As I touch the sweet center of a heart
a rose I have a little sing and give
life a new ring.
As I breath and relax many gaps
open all my needs my soul spills past.
I am lifted through my life by a
force of GOD I spend my life
half angel half human.
As I spend my life simply and
freely I flicker my only mission
to spread some colour.
All stresses evaporate disappear
as I blend with the forever field
of change.
I am the one and only match you
need to lite the bonfire the flickering
flame of cascading change.

So much to learn when fully absorbing
a rapidly changing butterfly view.

My God My Master
How it feels so good
To come back to you
With a melting heart
And movement back in
My remembering chest  
Let us together stir those
   waters once again  

You know I have been
Timidly anxiously hiding
Waiting for all your wroth
To repay all my anger
When I cursed everything
From above and higher
  
but I can only hear your
Chuckle and laughter

You know you made
me look a fool
used me like a tool
As you took all my
egocentric narcissistic vanity
My personal power obsessed
Western mentality
And tricked me like
A red rag too a bull

But now I know what
you were trying to do
As I see what you have
been trying to show

And i am really glad you took
the time because now I feel
So much
CLOSER
IN LOVE
with you

How can you proclaim
that we are free
can you not see
our authentic selves
lie buried and covered
from every single angle with
shame, shame and shame.
As our freedom is stolen
with bars of condemnation
as we are encaged  from
every side.  

For why do I feel a ******
elevated world looks down
on me as I push my pram
because I chose to have a baby
young.
Why do I feel I need to bury
my head because I am a single
mum.
Why do I feel condemned because
I chose to have a career and not
be a mum.
Why do I feel  so embarrassed
about my little cute flat.
And that i feel I have to apologize
because I feel ashamed of  my
small income.

What chance have we really got
if we are constantly made
to dance to a condemning shot.
Our true selves half dead in a
bunker with shame all around us
the enemy that surrounds us.

I wish my body was taller, thinner
and in some places even bigger
oh God I do not want to look in the
mirror.
And what is wrong with my God
given colour for why am I made
to feel so unwelcome.
Why do I feel embarrassed about
my particular religious belief
the way God gives me inner relief.
Why do I when I am asked my age
do I start to mumble my words
and change the conversation like
there is something wrong with
being just a little old.

How can we find happiness in this
world if we are constantly kicked out
of home by shame.
Maybe I will be just fine as long as I
do not let myself be anything
that I truly am.  

I do not like my accent the way I talk
this is something I will have to change.
Why am I made to feel so ashamed of
my craft my job because I am just a blue
collar worker.
Why am I so ashamed of my education
that I left school worked hard since sixteen.
Why are the unemployed condemned
when the capitalist system needs them.
Why do some people feel the need
to move up a class from their background.

I am sorry this has become so
very long but I must just keep
going on.

Why am I so ashamed of my white
van that I work from
or the old car I play from.
tell me why does fitting in
give you a derogatory name
like common.
And why when I was born
beautiful I can not celebrate
but I am made to feel I must
hide to protect another's ego.
Why because I was not made
to look perfect that world decided
that I must suffer.
And why should I be ashamed  
that I like to watch football and not
something posh like rugby or Polo.

I know I should be ashamed
that I keep on moaning but
I keep on seeing a very
Shameful pattern.
Why do I feel that
I am drowning that the world
is closing in and that my choices
are shrinking.

Why is it sometimes still
considered to fancy the
same *** as wrong
as they sing their
homophobic song.
I am really ashamed to confess
that I sometimes like to
wear a dress but what is
your problem why won't
you just let me express.
Why do I when I share my body
spread some *** and pleasure
that it is all considered wrong.
Why when I criticize the system
I am shamed and called ungrateful
is that not just a little controlling.
Why am I told of for not always
being happy like there is something
wrong with sometimes being unhappy.

Who said we have to be terrific and
extraordinary heave forbid that we
are just ordinary.
What is the point of cleaning someones
mind but then sending them into
a shameful swamp.
What is the point of drying someone
out but then leaving them cold naked
in the rain.
If you say that I am free why do I
struggle to even breath.

You say that we are free when we
are paralyzed by shame with no
where to go.
But I do have  a dream that we
can all some day  live in a world
WITHOUT SHAME

I am a castle not a house
that sales lite as a feather
I am a giant whale
Don't try to change my course
I will tell you our direction
where we are going
For I am the captain
Of this ship
Commander of this vessel
For I am greater than you
As I open my jaw
A thousand like you
Just channel through

If you are lost
You are not listening
Because I will be calling
My call crossing an ocean
eeeeeeooooo   eeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooo
soft silent listen
Yes silent listen
I am hear for you
To call you
I am you
I am your soul
eeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooo
And you come home

Nothing frightens me
I am far to big
As I swim so much deeper
As I am one with all waters
But I will also blow out
So much higher
When I choose to
take some air
I often swim so very fast
but at the same time
seem still  
Yes I am much older than you
but at the same time
I am remain much younger

Lost adrift at sea
I will scoop you up
take you somewhere
deeper calmer
Look for me and
you will see me
exploding out of water
see me in a mirror
A reflection in a lovers eye
Listen for a whisper
Or my 10 thousand mile call

Lost sinking drowning
Looking in the small
The little detail
For meaning
But I tell you
I am not small
I am big
Bigger than meaning
Bigger than all
I am your soul  
I am the king of all
From the Antarctic
To the north pole

You think this is your Planet
I swim surround cover all
For you listen to me  
I PLAN--------ET   ALL
So much can be learnt
when we listen to our soul
The giant Blue Whale

I am soft and gentle
and bring a clarity
to the dark night.
I wear a loving darkness
like a comfortable cloak.
I am the vanishing vampire
puff puff you see me now i
am gone.
For I am the creature
of the night.

When your world caves in
your emotions turn to
darkness.
Just listen deeply and
you may hear me flutter
in the blackness.
For you are not alone
as your friend I am here.
A gentle creature comfortable
in the night.

I am the sometimes the forgotten
hidden in the corner in my cave
there i hang.
We live our lives upside down
sometimes living our teens
in our thirties.
As we slip into caves through
cracks often hiding in places.

We light the night with
sound, magic and our
emotional moon.
Soft and angelic we are
so innocent in nature.
In this topsy turvy land
we turn the world upside
down and find GOD also
lives underground.
So we never fear or
feel claustrophobic this
darkness is our home.

I never waste my time
looking to the future
to me it is all a blank.
And there i find my freedom
no burden or expectation.
I am the deep sleep that
has no dreams.
Perch with me in my cave
I will give you silent night
I am your greatest ally
in the darkness.
As I fly into blackness
with speed and purpose
There in the moonlight
I detach myself
spread my wings
find my freedom

Out of site I vanish
from the world
for only
those who look into caves
their darkness will ever
have a chance to find me.
Sometimes I fly high
breaking into the night
turn of my sound
and just disappear.
I relax sit back
into the my void
have a break
from myself.
Puff puff i am he vampire
who has just gone.

Remember when your world
caves in turns to darkness.
Do not panic just disappear
into blackness.
You will hear me flutter and
know I am near.
For with a little bat
becomes very clear.

Shush please
Silence your mind
For I hear you
predicting my future
But I tell you
As I tell myself
I am no
Commodity

As I sometimes feel
The earth from under me
Kind of crumbles
Only to find  
My rockets
My vibrations

Like a bat i fly
My future a blank
For me it is
An adventure
Out of my cast
I explode I blast

For a moment please
Stretch out a place
Dig a hole
right
Through
your mind
Into an
outer space  
Help me find

Leave a moment
A gap
Just a chance
For a new future
To be found
But I need silence
All around

I am a flower in a forest
Filled with trees
And wisdom
Please take of your cloths
And slip in for  
something new to begin

Please do not tell me
I am a God because I
tell you I am only human.
And I am really pleased
that your God really loves
you.
Make a wish and he will
supply you lovely job, beautiful
wife he will give you  
And how it all really worked
out for you and your respectful
family

Look I really am delighted for
all that has been given you.
But can you please please
go over there because we
are drowning over here.
And do not say we do not
paddle because we really
do so very fast.
And we are still sinking not
sure how long we can last.

I know by the look in your
face that you do not trust
that I am sincere when I
say I am joyous for your
happiness.
But what I will say is that
I am really trying
And when you wear your
happiness like a golden robe
I really try hard not to pull
on you.
As am sincere when I say
I want to be a good friend
as you seem so much better

They say knock and he will
come and I am glad your
God came.
But my hands gone numb
I now having bruised
and bleeding knuckles
and no one came.

I am truly really happy
for you but please
Remember some of us
are still drowning