Almost ten years its been .It seems like another life.
I think back and it's like watching a memory with a distorted perception.
For this mental deception. guilt feels like a knife.
Why is it blurry and Why are moments void? Why do I forget your voice?Memories I unknowingly destroyed.
I know I care to remember . I know it's easier to forget. But everything you taught me, the wisdom you gave me, the happiness you showed me; I'm forever in your debt.
With so little in hand you had a plan . Foreign surroundings and customs to adapt. Still your dignity, your pride, and your family;  it was all kept intact.
The way you diciplined me or even gave me a reward. I hated it at the moment yet only now i realize it was total love you poured.
Now it's years too late. I never even said goodbye. Written on our foreheads is our predetermined destiny you said. Superstition? Maybe just a lie.
If your story was written down it'd be a cruel one, don't you think? If the man upstairs had this planned all along. He made a chain with a broken link.
You gave me 16 years of your life which is all I knew. The path you paved for me was made, but i needed your guidance too.
A point where a boy becomes a man is where we came to a halt.  I needed you Dad,  I know leaving wasn't your fault.
Who's to blame for a tragic and unexpected loss at such a comfortable state?  "This was God's own will" you'd say.. You'd blame it all on fate.
But today it hit me. We all have plans and dreams we aspire. This fate you faced was real. You suffered so long and Now it's time you retire.
I know you're still working where ever you are. The amount of times you saved me spiritually from afar.
You never really left which is why this pain has stuck. You live in me Dad and my life has run amuck.
I hope youre not looking down and wondering where you went wrong. I don't blame anyone but myself. It was me all along.
I promise that one day ill be the son you always believed in.  It's taking me some time but my patience is wearing thin.
It's a path you set out. It's a path i may have strayed. Success is my goal. The timing a bit delayed.
I may have some doubts and I may have some fear. But with you always beside me. My destiny comes near.
I wrote this all because I felt it had to be done. I needed to explain that no matter what, I'll forever be your son.

I came back to you to right all the wrong. My heart was left somewhere along the path now abandoned too long.. I thought it could be found on my way back. But after it all it's my dignity I lack. I was made to believe it was all my fault and these issues could be fixed. In my mind I knew the truth, in my heart my emotions mixed. We were doomed to detonate right from the start. I knew it in my mind. I refused it in my heart. It was years ago since I felt this passion which blinded me so. I wanted to stay, even though I knew it was time to go. It wasn't your orders to leave or spiteful words. It was the fact that it wasn't me, It was him you preferred. I gave you my everything. I gave you all my time. To you it was nothing. To you this is just a rhyme. I need to stay strong and show you I can do the same. As much as you've led me to believe. It wasn't me to blame. I came back everytime knowing how I'd feel. I just wanted reassurance that your bittersweet love was real. The length of us was due to my submission. But once again I'd been replACEd. He was the previously new edition. Compare him to me all you wish, you will never find what you seek. If it's me you truly want, but find it easier with him our relationship has reached it's peak. It's cruel to say I kept trying, while you left me on a limb. A spark I used to see so bright has now become so dim. I can't explain why you feel this way, I cant understand it either. My love for you, my craving for you, the pain is not worth neither. If you couldn't see I would've caught stars for you, then this is the unfortunate end. In all those months all I wanted to hear is that I was your best friend.
Ace