10:17 p.m.

And still,
I couldn't bring myself
To tell her I loved her,
Because of fear of what had happened
The last time I loved someone.

Because of fear
That the part of me
That was whispering,
Shouting,
Screaming,
To stay away,
To not fall in love
Might be right.

Because of fear
That I would break her heart
And she'd break mine,
And we'd both go back to being broken
Just as quickly as we had taped ourselves back together,
Piece by piece.

Because of fear
That she wouldn't
Feel the same way.

Because of fear
That my feelings
Wouldn't be genuine.

Because of fear
Of repeating the past.

(a.m.)

My new favorite poet is a fifteen year old girl.
Margaret is clever it's astounding.
I knew youth was coming like this but usually when I saw it up close they we're just these maniacal computer wiz kids but this girl seems to party.
I hope she meets Alex Turner someday.
I hope she meets Andrew VanWyngarden too.
I don't know why, but I guess it's because they're dashing and she deserves the best.
I hope the world don't tangle her up too much and don't sit on her like a fat bully.
I know she can dodge it though and we need her and her vision of peace like a checkpoint.
My favorite new poet is a fifteen year old girl.
Shine on Margaret, light up the world.

Once I wore Yoga Pants to school
That day I got asked out 3 times
All nice guys
All nice people
But I said no to all of them
Why?
Because something about those
pants made them see something
they hadn't noticed before
And I didn't like that.
I didn't like the fact that they didn't
see who I was in a **** dress
or in jeans
or in other clothes
All they noticed was how my ****
looked in Yoga Pants
I wanted them to ask me out
when I wasn't wearing tight pants
*Is that too much to ask?

maybe it's because we get along so well.
or maybe it's because we know each other like the back of our hands.
maybe it's because we've held on through everything and remained.
i'm not exactly sure what the reason is, but does there really need to be one?
my love for you is enough, i hope.
I dream of coming home for the holidays and bumping into you.
we catch up & in a few days, it's exactly as it was.
we end up together because there's no one that gets me like my best friend from 8th grade.
yours truly giving you endless love,
v.b
v.e.g