I don’t want your fingers to bleed
while holding the pieces of my broken heart
I don’t want your eyes to cry
for the pain that lives inside me
I don't want your tounge to taste blood
each time it whispers my name
I don’t your hands to shiver
while reaching for my cold soul
I don’t want you to suffocate
while drawing air to my lungs
I don’t want you to consume
the venom that flows inside my veins
I don’t want you to break down
in the process of healing me
So I’ll love you but only from a safe distance
Knowing that we don’t belong to each other
I’ll always love you
But will never show it
i think it's better this way
i’m not ur soul mate,
but i’m jealous that someone else gets to smell u on their skin.
i’m jealous that someone gets to laugh at ur jokes,
& smile knowing that u mean it when u call them beautiful.
i’ll never forget that time we sat in the taco bell parking lot for 4 hours laughing & talking.
& u screamed at that spider in ur car,
but i just picked it up & gently put it outside.
u always were so sarcastically dramatic,
u were so funny.
i get upset,
knowing that u never would have made me happy,
because i do not know why,
i just know that i never would have been fulfilled.
u told me i broke u,
i made u give up.
u told me that i was ur soul mate,
that i was the most precious & special girl you’d ever meet,
u told me that u could spend ur life twirling my curls around ur fingers.
u told me i was smart & that i could do anything with my life.
i should have held on,
because i had love.
u loved me.
but i pushed u away
because i never would have loved u,
& i am sorry.
i’m sorry that i couldn’t give u the world u deserved.
i want to smell u one last time,
u always smelled so nice,
u always used the cologne i liked the best.
u adored me.
i adored the way u made me feel,
but not u.
It is so hard to want to get better, when your mind is telling you “this can be a good thing”.
It’s so hard to want love yourself when you can’t find a single part of you worth loving.
I’m supposed to be getting better.
u hold her tight through the night,
i don’t wish it was me anymore.
For each step I take,
I’ll have one more step to give.
So I’ll move onwards
Someone’s probably made this connection into a poem already, but think of this in terms of life and what comes with age.
u have fire at ur fingertips,
fire on ur lips,
ready to burn me with ur touch,
make me melt with ur words.
u have oceans in ur eyes,
ready to drown me with just a glance,
ready to fill my lungs with salt water when i breathe u in.
my sky isn’t blue,
my soul is.
my sky is all kinds of madness visible to the naked eye,
my sky is violet & pink,
yellow & green,
being this sad,
this mentally mad,
it does stink.
my world isn’t calm,
it’s got waves & waves of uncertainty & quite beautiful storms.
i wish to wake & believe that somewhere within this mess, i am beauty,
my heart isn’t strong enough to have faith in that yet.
my sky isn’t grey,
my heart is.