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 Nov 2021 abby
basil
i feel off
 Nov 2021 abby
basil
i didn't have a single wish to make
at 11:11 today
i don't even know what to say. i just feel off.... it's upsetting, especially since i don't know exactly what's wrong right now. i feel okay, but i don't feel myself

11.14.2021
 Oct 2021 abby
j a connor
Changes
 Oct 2021 abby
j a connor
C razy
L ucid
I deas
M ay
A lter
T he
E arth

But change will happen as we are not in control
 Oct 2021 abby
a name
mind and heart had a schism

mind stood there thinking how to pour his heart out
writing it like his wedding vows, sounding like a eulogy

and he'd forgotten how to shave, how to comb
how to tie a shoe or how to walk with it

yes, he is thinking of her
at the same time, he is thinking of snake pits
and cliff jumps
and cannibals

pouring out, like bile from a faucet
his life story
how he wished it all satisfied
all the reasons to write another chapter

yet it sounds like a mess written by schizophrenic
fighting for the choice of words
the pen
the paper
one wants to just chew it all off

in his tight shoes, trembling legs
wanting to run
wanting to limp
waiting for a lightning bolt
to shock some sense into him

and he stood there
writing wails
all turning into ramble
turning into a freeze

mind and heart had a schism
and it tired heart

but heart didn't mind
he knows
this often happens

and yes, he is thinking of her
and how nice she was

after a moment, mind spoke his cacophony
and he thought it sounded fine

and she hid inside her apartment from the sound
within her pillows and comforter

then mind dropped to the floor
on a pool of grey matter

yeah, heart said
this happens
often

god hope it didn't, he thought
but at least it gives me pointers

and so heart put mind in an ambulance stretcher
doped and dried until he needs him again

heart bought some chocolates, some coffee, slathered himself with antiperspirant

and he knocked at her bedroom door

she opened the door to a tired heart, who fed a garbage brain

and heart embraced her with all his fervor
The best place
I ever lived
was in your heart,
I am no longer cold.
Indonesia, 9th October 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
 Oct 2021 abby
Ivy
Who am I?
 Oct 2021 abby
Ivy
Who am I?
Am I this?
Or am I that?
Or am I nothing at all?
 Oct 2021 abby
Chandy
[Cherophobia]
 Oct 2021 abby
Chandy
Never asked for life
Asking for death, request denied
A bear trap, no longer bearable
Endurance has its limits
Still in my youth and I'm tapping out
I quit, not out of selfishness
But selflessness
Who wants to wake up and see the face of separation?
Split down the middle, asymmetrical
Just like my mood, one or the other
Pain or pleasure
Denied of leisure
Looking for treasure
All I find are stressors
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