I live in a palace
of broken glass
ten times, one
hundred times
I land
I land on
my broken ***
O Daddy
o daddy
why did you
******* me
like this
ten times
one thousand
times, a broken
dish, reflected
you me YOU ME
ah f
and so
each time you
did this to me
I became the child
you abandoned
again and
again
I've grown to
despise holidays
because the include
you and all of your
solid assurance that
I'll keep your secret
Daddy I cannot bear
to be anywhere
near you
you wreck me
you break me
into these fing
prisms
and so the only way
to lose you is to lose
all of the pieces of
me
F* YOU
DAD!

(Merry Christmas
so...)

a stallion lunges
forward
threatening
warning
hoping you'll
back off

you're licking your lips
at the horseflesh
hungry as a lioness
you grin
into

oh this battle
of flesh on flesh
a victor
a meal

or an escape

and i know tomorrow
having imagined myself
there so often
winning

abate your self
interest

create a space to buffer
passion
and the instants
that used to
save lives
that now
confuse

enuf is said
in one day
to save us all
yet we fall
continuously
is this direction
away from home
and mom

it draws us back
this vein of tomorrow
this fount of can i get there
this loss of
losing

i am found
on a line
by you
here
thanks
i needed found

bound to this thread
of breath
til it fogs no more
and we kid ourselves
until then
or live



Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

Why does a screen feel less than me when it’s supposed to be state of the art, high tech, and without fault.

People will say that it’s just getting old, and worn out, so why won’t my heart do the same..

Hey, I like you, do you like me? No, that’s fine, that’s cool I’ll go cry myself to sleep at night because unlike internet explorer I don’t just keep asking for you to accept me.

I simply wish that I could be less weak, less pathetic, less useless than everything and everyone else, I just wish to not feel this sensitivity of my nerves letting my eyes drain and my heart to turn into a glass pane that someone can smash open, and for those lumps in my throat to just go down and not reappear as I struggle to tell you how I feel.

I wish to be helpful, I wish to be useful, and I want to make you happy every way possible.

But my weakening heart does not know how to tell you the truth that I’m holding within my lungs as the air rots away.

I no longer wish to feel pain.

In the shadows of this room
Illuminated only by candlelight
We became liquid
Dissolving in the darkness
A chemical reaction
Resulting in the destruction
Of our composure
Rewriting our compounds
Until we fuse
Into a single strand
Of letters and numbers
Of thoughts
And untranslatable sounds
Fingertips working
My way through your construction
Mind calculating
The methods to solving our equation
Staring behind your eyes
Searching for the words
To write the story
Of what happens here
But there are no words
To recreate the mystery
Behind our explosions
The fated foundation
I placed within your structure

Perhaps this is
of my own doing
But I own it
Reflecting on the moments
I promised lifetimes
Knowing our future
Would always fall short
Of what I dreamed it to be
Settling for almost there
But not quite
You held a lot of the characteristics
For someone I could love
And I made up the rest
Passing the time
With you by my side
Playing house
Pretending that you were the one
Claiming miracles
Secretly disenchanted
By the idea of your presence
Consistent and steadfast
Your words in regards to me
Came from the heart
Even though
Everything else was a lie
Falsehoods weaved
Through the strands of our existence
Crumbling swiftly
With every move we made
Moving forward in vain
Until I could no longer bare
The awkward silence
Poisonous resentments
The lingering deceit
All the words I never said
Come out all at once
In a explosion of bile
Liquid thoughts
I can not contain
Streaming in your direction
Until the acid of my withholdings
Melts you alive
And shows you the door