Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
max Mar 2019
you
happiness.
the sort that comes from nothing,
from sitting among chaos with you
and only you.
the kind that fills the emptiness
left in the space where i feel nothing.

not temporary happiness,
not the fake, material happiness,
not happiness that can be measured and compared.
just pure, innocent happiness.
despite my empty, loneliness,
happiness.

the simple, wholesome happiness
that only you can bring.
quiet, nothingy happiness.
you.

i don't really have a name for
this happiness,
which seems so abstract and rare,

but i have decided to call it love.
21:17 - 24/03/2019
max Feb 2019
around me i see the world
it is not as you might think
it is an illusion.
at first, where you might see its beauty and life,
i see a world of pain,
a world of deceit and suffering.
past cafes i walk, a spy in a foreign world,
couples huddled together upkeeping the illusion that love is real,
needlessly trusting eachother when they both know the pain to come.
children laughing and playing
unaware of the suffering they will have to endure
in later life.

if they live to see later life,
that is.
some do not,
they see like i do:
aware of the pain they are in.

wishing to end it.
i feel like this is really badly worded but i needed to post
max Feb 2019
if the only way to feel
is by feeling pain
why do i allow myself to feel?
i'd rather end my suffering,
feel nothing at all forever
than continue in a world of pain
max Feb 2019
I am a God
I create worlds with my fingertips on this canvas of a body
With my bare hands I erupt volcanoes from a wrinkled visage
Burning valleys gather on my legs, a desperate cry for help as I run through useless ideas.

I am a God,
I create worlds at my fingertips,
But this one is broken.
max Feb 2019
Look at me, look
In my
Eyes, and you will
See that I'm perfectly fine.
I've been alone singing for most of today
max Feb 2019
sometimes i **** myself
in my mind
just a little
just enough to see how everyone would be better without me
just enough to isolate myself a while
but it's not real
and every day i regret that i'm still here
you say you care but i can't help doubting your honest lies
max Feb 2019
Soft peach - easily broken, an endless
film of tissues enclosing me in a
stranger’s body; it clings to my form in
an attempt to show who I, the stranger,
wish to be, it is lying – behind which
you will find an infinite lump of white,
a misshapen mess of unlovable
monstrosity evoking a wailing
symphony of insecurities; this
white is foreign; as are the reds who so
earnestly insist on fuelling this grand
corpse, forcing me forward until I can
no longer continue… I’m awaiting
the day that happens: the day my rigid
white frame eventually snaps, ossein
scaffolding imploding beneath layers
and layers of pale tissues, destroying
years of complex creation. Amid this
tower of flesh I sit, a prisoner.

My borrowed atoms are a pulpy pink
labyrinth of thoughts and insecurities;
I am held hostage in the cave of a
stranger. Here I reside, watching, helpless
as once more the silver pierces the peach,
its incisions leaving soft pink scars that
shimmer in the light as time ticks its tock.
I watch this stranger go about her life,
Clueless to how I might escape. And yet

You ask if I am okay?
My first poem

— The End —