Mystical
Magical
Stub your ankle on pine
Feels like you spiked your spine
Nerves striking your system
Never ever friends with PTSD
Yet brother decides to try to help
Hands latching onto you
It feels familiar
You were on stage
Never public
Had your whole body to sell
Grabbing
Squishing
Hands leeching onto your body
Feeling your privates
You were only nine for God sake!
No matter how many times you kept saying "stop!"
Or "no!"
You felt hands on you
You had no control
Just pure grips
Just pure uncomfortableness
Yet, you'd never think that PTSD would kick in the ***
After four years, did you seriously think you'd not have PTSD?
Loud sounds trigger
Hands trigger

All you can feel is you sinking
Heaving breathing
Panicked
You can't breathe
You feel like exploding
You can't breathe
You can't breathe
You're crying like hell

.
.
.
You can't breathe?
Don't you remember
How your family member
Would choke you, nearly making you pass out?
Can't you feel their hands?
How their thumbs limited your airway
How their thumbs made your throat's airway smaller!

Look at you!
You seem so distressed!
I'm not going to be here to listen to you!
No one is!
You're all alone on this problem!
No one would care anyways

It's funny how you keep crawling back to me
It's such a pretty and beautiful sight to see
You do know that your obsession feeds our connection?
So at this moment, give me all your attention

Why do you always look like a lost dog?
You look like you can't go nowhere without me
Even as much I throw the log
You seem bewildered without me

You always praise me
Every single bit of me
To the way your gaze lingers on my flesh
To the way my words seem to live rent free in your mind
You always usher me to tell you what my full but empty words mean
Yet, I don't pay you any mind
After all, I did tell you to be in that dog cage, didn't I?

It might be a little narcissistic
Not at all pessimistic
Your words fuel my superiority
And suddenly I'm your number one priority?
💋
Much better!

Worship me and make me your goddess
Be sure to not say anything nasty, or you'll get cursed!
'kay?

you noticed that his room was becoming messy.
"lazy."
you noticed that he had stopped showering.
"disgusting."
you noticed that he had started talking less.
"he's just going through a phase."

but you never noticed how his short sleeves turned into baggy hoodies.
you never noticed that he had stopped eating.
you never noticed that the happy little boy you used to have was leaving.

you never noticed it was getting bad
until it was almost too late