They said I’ve changed
That I’m different than I was in September
That they liked her more

Of course they did
She was another dead fish going with the stream
She was scared
She didn’t want to make them upset

She tried to pretend that she was sane
That she was normal

She was sad
All the time
She was trying not to cry

She’s gotten better
Why is that not good enough for you?

The scars are starting to heal
Don’t make me make new ones

They say you’re wise,
grown for your age,
like some cracked old mirror,
reflecting a world that doesn’t care.
The way you speak—
too much weight in those little shoulders,
eyes that’ve seen too many things
they shouldn’t know yet.

They say it like a compliment,
like they’re giving you a crown
for walking barefoot through fire
at seven years old,
your laugh too quiet,
your smile too rare.

They say you’re “mature,”
as if it’s a badge to wear,
but behind that mask
is a kid who never got to be one.
A soul too old too soon,
forged in the furnace of life’s *******.

It’s sad, you know—
you got dealt a hand
meant for someone twice your age,
and now they call you grown,
like it’s something to be proud of,
but all I see
is a heart that’s lost its sparkle,
and a mind that’s heavy with what it shouldn’t know.

You act adult,
because you had to,
but there’s nothing more tragic
than having to grow up
before you’ve even had the chance
to be a kid.

I kept the book you gave me,
the one you never finished.
The corners are still creased
where you stopped -
a moment frozen in paper.

I tried to read past it once,
but the words were ghosts
of a story I didn’t know
how to end.

So it sits on my shelf,
not quite forgotten,
not quite forgiven,
like the memory of you.

we
          are
not
         the
same


        and i hope
we never are.

       you
worthless
     hopeless
undeserving
      awful
monster.

we
          are
not
         the
same.

Father, please
Listen to me!
Let me speak!
Stop yelling at me
Stop yelling at Mom

Father, please
Stop leaving the house so often
You act like you're going to another girl's house
Why take $50 with you?
Didn't mother say we're broke?
That was the reason why I created my Etsy business, wasn't it?
That is the reason why you started to eat cheap, stomach aching foods, wasn't it?

Father, please
Stop yelling at me
For the most useless reasons
Father, please
Don't play off your nasty words as a joke
It's clearly not a joke
You've been like this since 2018

Father, please
Allow me to speak
I want you to listen to my voice
Yet, it's the same voice you say you want to seize

Father, please
Stop saying you're "the adult"
You act like a child on a daily basis
Father, please
If you're an adult
Act like it
Ground me for A MONTH
Please <3

Father, please
Give me all the affection that Caesar gets
Don't let your anger release
Don't blame it all on me
Caesar is all you can see
You allow him to do anything
And he gets no discipline
Father, please
Tell me why is that so?
Father, please
Don't avoid the question
Father, please
Tell me
Is it because I'm not biological?

"Father", please
You're always sober
Remember to do things for us all
Within this house we hold

"Father", please
The closest thing is work
Is simple chores
I may sound like a hypocrite
But if you're so "depressed"
Because you can't legally get a job
Do chores

"Father" , please
See these scars?
They're from you and your voice
"Father", please
I know it's my fault
I understand
"Father", please
When are you going to stop yelling?
You raise your voice every time you see me

"Father", please
Stop.