“You're not depressed"
“You shouldn't be stressed"
“I'm cutting you off of your meds"
Cut me off my meds
I'll cut myself into super **** scars
You call me a star, so aren't you supposed to burn if you're a star?
I've been isolating myself
Just for other people to not see me
To not get hurt by me

I've told you everything I have gone through
You've never told me anything you went through
You only told me you got cheated on a few times
You only told me you were used as a toy
Okay?
I never got cheated on
But I've definitely been used as a toy multiple times
Why so many excuses to take me off my meds?
Yes, you were abused by your narcissistic Asian mother
That's cool
Lovely
Though, you did tell me you were trying to make my life better
To clear me from these thoughts
So why do many excuses?

Groomed
Used
Abused
Manipulated
Gas-lit
Victim of Weaponized incompetence
COCSA
SA’d
Cyberstalked
Stalked
All within of my 12 years of living
It doesn't seem much
Six of above happened for years on end by one of my closest people
Three still happening today that I'm very aware of
I just don't know how to get out of it
There's been no justice
Just pure hell
But all what you're saying is “oh well!"
You won't let me call the police
No discipline to anyone
I can't do anything but carry on with my day

Why
Just why?

The news is a c#%&
That son of a b@#$!
They don't give a f$%!
about talking s&#@
That girl is a s!@$
and that dude's a d!@&
But I blame this boll@&$s
On tabloid pr!@&s

I tried to shine, to be their light,
To keep things close, to make it right.
But their hearts stray, disloyal, cold,
Leaving behind stories untold.

I'm done with chasing, done with tears,
Done with doubts and hidden fears.
I just want friends, no gams, no ends,
Just simple trust, the love of friends....

For some reason,
I often hear girls speak this treason:
"I'm so fat"

no.
No.
nO.
NO.
NO!

You're skinny. You're in shape!
Next to me, you look like a stick.
I'M fat. I'm a big round rock.
But who cares? Why care?
Some of us are fat. Some of us are thinner.
why's must we worry and
detest our selves because of how we look?
we are more than just our bodies.
we are hearts. we are souls. we are human.
we are broken, scarred and beautiful

Happiness starts with me
clearing the debris
for all to see
changing the frequency
on internal healing
finding joy in the small things
through hope in believing
fueled by enthusiasm
sparking opportunities
to turn dreams
into realities
creating new memories
protecting our souls harmony
together, with my family
I am I
and only me