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298 · May 2019
Two Souls
Yue Wang Yitkbel May 2019
There are infinite numbers of me

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the predestined fabric of time

Yet there is only one of you

Of which

I seem to be fated

To gaze upon

Love helplessly

Never possess

And eventually

Lose completely


And lose you I did

What I never had


Yet the love itself

Was never lost


It was just always

There


Faithful as a child

Running wild and free


A distant

And endless green

Pasture


Praising

Chasing

Flower after flower


Without ever so much

As a touch


For fear of its withering


But mostly

Because it ever

Eludes me


Yet

How can I be

Forever everywhere


Except

Where you are to be?


There are infinite numbers of you

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the everlasting Pasture

Of Love


Yet

There is only one of me


In time and in space

I might have passed you

Regretfully


But in Love

I believe

We're still destined

To meet

And

To be
Two Souls


By: Yue Xing Yidhna ****

May 10, 2019, 12:48PM
298 · Mar 2018
Deafening Silence
Yue Wang Yitkbel Mar 2018
Empty inbox filled with spam
      Desperate posts with no replies
            Old friend that's just a contact
                    
Streets that are just park lots
     Playgrounds built for geese and ghosts
             Delicate souls hidden in the drive thru

Forgotten songs set as ringtones
      Refreshing the page for hours
            But nothing ever changes when you need it to

And here I am writing love poems and letters
      Never to be read by you as intended
           But keyboards, screens, and those feeling just as alone
298 · Jul 2017
Yours Truly
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jul 2017
I write love letters to you
Not because I want you to respond
Not because I want you to love me back
But because I want you to know that
Not matter what,
I will always love you,
and I am yours
Yours Truly.
297 · May 2020
The Eternal Dreamer
Yue Wang Yitkbel May 2020
Why must the Eternal Dreamer

Seek to sow his golden purpose

In a fickle poem, for a fickle world

Pleading to be a destined grain of late harvest

And not a seed of sand from the desert of abundance

Lost, like every other, in the wind

Drifting, fading, falling

Till only silence, with the lifeless dune

Remains.
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
295 · Sep 2017
Twigs and Leaves
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2017
I always knew you were a beautiful bird
But I thought I was one too
I thought one day we could sing together
If only I flew close to you
But as I danced and twirled to no avail
I looked into the mirror in your eyes
Hurt and confused
It was then that I finally saw
It was then the truth unveiled
I was merely twigs and leaves
Intertwined with self-deceiving hues.

So I took it all off
Sat bare in autumn's fallen clothes,
Mourning the loss of my illusive muse.

(I finally knew,
That to you,
I was merely invisibly blaring
In front of an all too ordinary view.)
294 · Aug 2017
The Ghost of You and Me
Yue Wang Yitkbel Aug 2017
The pieces of my memories of you
Linger against the darkness,
Like a custer of stardust,
that gradually forms a ghost of you
I wish to forget.

Perhaps,
I should just dust you away,
let you chase after some better dreams,
and give into the left over abyss.
Slowly sinking,
drowning,
losing consciousness,
losing all of my false joy and true regrets,
losing all that once were,
or could have been.
Losing almost all of me,
until the slumbering calm finally sweeps over mercifully,
leaving behind only the ghost of me
in its wake.

And then,
Suddenly,
I would realize,
We would finally be the same.
293 · Jun 2019
Sweet Dreams!
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jun 2019
"The great sleep is life, and in death we finally awake." - Yidhna
Originally posted as the beginning line of this:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3011529/the-mad-scientist/
290 · May 2019
Feel the Truth in Love
Yue Wang Yitkbel May 2019
I can never know the truth

That which is unfathomable

That which cannot truly manifest

Within this world of perfect imperfections


But I can seek to feel it

The peace and love

Aching merrily

Beyond reason for

The Irrational Beings

Yet, deeply touching

For the purity of our soul


Have faith in this love

If you can feel it rippling

Within you

Violent tides of longing

So very calm and joyful

Swept in by the gale wind

So startlingly abrupt

With warmth

Everlasting


Don't rationalize it

This which is the unfathomable

This which is above and beyond

Reason

And seek dust in the

Tears of pure happiness


If you must have certainty

I don't have to tell you that

I love you

The one truth you can surely

Feel
290 · Nov 2019
Maze of Existence and Being
Yue Wang Yitkbel Nov 2019
In this maze of existence and being
The footpath is my free will
But I'm ever guided and obstructed by the hedges of fate
Where it leads me
I know not
Still I walk
Following the sunlight
A sunflower and its faith.

I won't ever stray
I could never stray
If there's only one, however twisted,
Enlightened and unobstructed
Way

All I need to do is
Stay
Maze of Existence and Being
By: Yitkbel Yue Xing ****
Friday, November 15, 2019 3:15 PM
---
Inspired by or brief elaboration on the much longer poem I wrote last night.
289 · Oct 2015
The Sea
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2015
The Sea
-Yue ****, December 14, 2009, 1:00am
The mythful, innocent, fresh,
Painful,
Reflection of the foolishly isolated,
Stubborn,
Passionately light, sea
Cleansed my condensing soul and lure me to
Its royal seat,
In its authoritarian pride.
To its greatness;
To my desperate need;
Instead of a fulfilling admiration,
I struggled, in all anxiety,
To leave an eternally visible trace,
A scar,
A mean,
In the order in front of my almost fearful
Sight.
Though, all is lost:
As I stomp my helpless hope in the soft,
Ignorant,
Lifeless, seeds of sand
The sadly benighted,
Or, rather,
Merciless,
Fluid,
Took in, in its reign,
The task of erasing,
Tracelessly, my deeds.
Leaving me with meaningless existence,
Waiting to rot and vanish, down further deep
I wrote this in high school, grade 11, never published it, online or in print, until now.
289 · Apr 2016
The Silence
Yue Wang Yitkbel Apr 2016
It was
The silence
That woke
The dreamer.
              --Yitkbel
Oldies
287 · Jul 2019
I. The Five Dimensional Man
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jul 2019
When you are lost in love
Your soul ages quicker than you grow old
Don't you see those living bodies with
Dead Souls
Trying to reap what was never sown



For the five dimensional man
Time is like the Glasgow Subway
He'll be aging forwards and backwards
To get to Hillhead you can't skip Buchanan Street
To get to the good times you can't skip the sad ones
And there's always going to be more bitter than sweet
But there's no end for the five dimensional man
There's no end to the Glasgow subway




He bought a typewriter down Byres Road
Learned to write South of Houston, Prince Street
The love was foreshadowed in Pandrossou Market
And he bargained and lost it on Main Street


The traveler travels through all of time and space
When you live infinitely, you'll remember every name
But when between dreaming and losing is your place
Even the immortal would lose his faith
He would give up the universe for one true love's grace
But perhaps it's easier to fall into the six dimensional ways
If infinite number of him existed in an instant with every trace
No happiness, no sorrow, no loss, no heart breaks
He'll gladly welcome the end of his days


There is a space time gateway 3000 light years away
For the end of solitude he'll endure this 30 lifetime race
He just wants to feel the comfort of a senseless place
And to fill his aching heart with empty loveless space
When nothing's ever gone, despair will vanish without a trace
Could this be the fate, of the hapless five dimensional fool
Eternally without love, or another soul to his name
285 · Sep 2019
My Love
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2019
Never chase the poisonous perfection
That always takes more than it gives
Never rid of all the shadows of sin
And be found by the wrath of guilt
Love, always your wrinkles and scars
And that fearless imperfect smile
For I always will
I always will.

You've always had love of the sun in your eyes
Now that you've hid them, I can still feel
Every sorrow of every atom
Entangled with my soul
Love is not to be heard, understood, but felt.
Yue Wang Yitkbel Mar 2018
When your glass wall shatters
          I would walk barefoot on concrete
                     Basking in the pain
After feeling so numb
         Never been touched by a soul
                    So delicately caring
In all of its silent, indifferent, bare and transparent
                   Suffering
284 · Oct 2017
Naked Soul
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2017
I like to lay beside warm bodies
Never too used to the cold
But my love is for naught
but a dream within a dream

I still want to be with you
Through the tulips and willow
But I don't know, don't know
If my memories still withhold
Within, within you

Because
You left me caressing the air
Breath what's not there through
Me and my naked soul
My naked soul
My naked soul

Swimming through the wind
I saw shadows but nothing to hold
I kept my memories of old
and a silent story to be told

But
Your absence stripped me bare
and left me in the cold
Me and my naked soul
My naked soul
My naked soul
I sat under the willow shade
Peeled at the pink rose
and thought of you
But nothing's clear

Since
You left me here
With another muddled affair
I can only feel
Us and our naked souls
Our naked souls
Our naked souls
283 · Oct 2019
Obscurantism
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2019
I read words flowery and towering
Like the distant and illusive stars
And feels nothing but inferiority
And so so lost.

I read words unadorned and bare
Like embracing warmth of sure suns
And feel nothing but familiarity
And in their light
I am found.
I have often read works by unknown and young writers whose work seem awe inspiringly grand or obscure that I felt lost in a great dazed inferiority. It would seem I understand nothing and am in the presence of some great oracle who only speak in incomprehensible parables. And feel like a fool.
Then I must go and read Tolstoy, Gogol, Blake, Byron, Nietzsche, Shelley, and The Word to feel rooted and grounded again, true wisdom knowledge must be easily understood and used. Or else what is the use?



Obscurantism: "The practice of deliberately preventing the facts or full details of something from becoming known." - Oxford Dictionary Definition

Nietzsche on the subject:
"Friedrich Nietzsche distinguishes the obscurantism of metaphysics and theology from the "more subtle" obscurantism of Kant's critical philosophy and modern philosophical skepticism, claiming that obscurantism is that which obscures existence: "The essential element in the black art of obscurantism is not that it wants to darken individual understanding but that it wants to blacken our picture of the world, and darken our idea of existence."
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2019
Verse:

Lofty darkness
Specks of obscured suns
Drooping light
Columns of lucid stars

Desert waves
I cannot tell if they are mountains
Or oceans
Desolate woodlands
We suffocate in the verdant and then
We’re forgotten

Chorus:

The desperation of the lost
Is not the emptiness of the barren
But unable to be found among the crowd
Obscurantist songs are rarely fully sung
For it may be above all, but none can reach
And none can teach
An incomprehensible truth
Is shapelessly hopeless
Is shapelessly hopeless  
Is shapelessly hopeless  

Bridge:

Like a pied enchanter, veiled and barely seen
With confidence unchallenged, he gestures deceit
As if waving alms of miracles so easily gained
Under dark carnival tents, quietly anticipating
The wonder of dazzling illusion, so fearfully arcane
The spectators kneel and bow to the ‘forged’ king

Verse:

Field of barley
Glares with gold utilitarianly  
River of humility
Ever ready to fulfill all thirst and needs

Stars faint and hazy
Only the clearest is used for guiding
Sunlight warm and cozy
Never bares itself for the elite only

Chorus:

The desperation of the lost
Is not the emptiness of the barren
But unable to be found among the crowd
Obscurantist songs are rarely fully sung
For it may be above all, but none can reach
And none can teach
And incomprehensible truth
Is shapelessly hopeless
Is shapelessly hopeless  
Is shapelessly hopeless  

Bridge:

Like a pied enchanter, veiled and barely seen
With confidence unchallenged, he gestures deceit
As if waving alms of miracles so easily gained
Under dark carnival tents, quietly anticipating
The wonder of dazzling illusion, so fearfully arcane
The spectators kneel and bow to the ‘forged’ king

CODA:

I’d rather be the ragged elder of solitary certainty
With sifts of wisdom and time, real grains filtering
Under the pure blue sky, the orange field gleaming
Watch over these substances over form fermenting
Would you rather have too much sugar till aching
Or let spirits pure send you to more pleasant dreams
Long version of:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3381369/obscurantism/
By: Yitkbel Yue Xing ****
Original in Chinese written: Wednesday, October 30, 2019, 1:46 PM
Original English translated on:
Wednesday, October 30, 2019 9:44 PM
---
275 · Nov 2017
Before You
Yue Wang Yitkbel Nov 2017
Let me see you before you appear
Let me hear you before you speak
Let me understand you before you
Attempt to connect with me
Let me leave you before you stay
Let me hide away before you see me
Let me keep an impression of you
Before you give it away
Let me fade away before
You remember me
Always
Faint and resolute
From the innocent days.
272 · Feb 2018
My Affections
Yue Wang Yitkbel Feb 2018
While you were chasing the stars, did you ever think of the ember readily inside my heart?

While you were seeking the golden fleece, did you ever think of the blanket I weaved for you with every last leaf?

I cannot fault you,
For chasing affections that are hard to come by
For knowing
That even if you ignore me until the end of time
I'd still be there for you at the very last sunrise.

Why worry yourself with something you can never lose?
272 · Sep 2017
Dandelion Love
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2017
Our love grew
Blossomed
Not into a short lived rose
With all its possessive beauty
But into an untouchable
Dandelion
With the gale of time
Carrying it away as soon
We attempt to hold it too dearly
Too closely.

The seeds of memories escape us
But they don't cease to exist
They may drift away
But they will drift back down to earth
Gradually and quietly
Transforming the barren of our minds
Into a beautiful and fertile land
Unending.
271 · Jun 2016
Waiting
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jun 2016
Waiting
-Yitkbel, June 11, 2016, Shalang

Waiting,

To see you pass by

Without saying hi

But your eyes smile

And I know why

That’s all I need from your love:

To hold you within my sight

To let your appearance catch me by surprise.

I’d forego death and finality

For an eternity of just standing by your side
Just a really simple little something, I thought of right now, while waiting for the love of my life.
271 · Oct 2015
The Fall
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2015
The Fall
By: Yue **** Yitkbel

I still want to hold your hand
Ask where you'd want to go
And follow you there

Give up all these city lights
Lights, camera, pretty faces, and real estate
Give up all these price tags
Insecurities, and compensations

I still dream of looking for you
And finds these dreams the sweetest
For even a mention of you
Brings warmth to my soul

Except, you would never remember me
Since, I never truly met you
For you were but a nameless, wordless
Silent image
Rushed by me in the breeze
Now buried in the past
Slowly fading,
And here and there,
Picked up again by the turbulence in time
And pulling me back

I am still waiting
Looking for
And walking towards the edge of the Earth
Hoping to be caught by a monolith before the fall
Yet, knowing full well to have past it long ago
Knowing full well the terror of the imminent drop
But, unable to stop
Unable to do nothing, but keep on walking
Looking
and Waiting
For nothing but the fall.
271 · Dec 2019
Leap, Even If Fated to Fall
Yue Wang Yitkbel Dec 2019
Before love, I cower and languish
As silence binds me till heavens’ end
I give and offer permanence and eternity
Ceaseless as cataracts of falling stars
Roaring through the desolation, stubborn gale
Bringing forth hope as wild seeds sprout
Tide after tide of suffocating plenty

All to plead for:

A blink from the indifferent sun
A sigh from the depth of the void
A smile from you

And receive nothing.

Still, my faith is true:

As swallows in wintry plight flock
To seek the prophesied warm south
As salmon race towards life's autumn
Leap or lapse, always to land in its fall

Like the many hapless before
And
The destined countless after

It is also my instinct to seek
To love
Even if I never find
And only the eternal quiet echoes my calls


Heaven remains when heavens end
While Earth cease where earth ends
You and I did not spring the same
Yet, if one withers the other will surely fade
Written some time around midnight, while feeling uncertain, uninspired, and reading Keats.
---
Leap, Even If Fated to Fall
By: Yue Xing Yitkbel ****
December 11, 2019
Yue Wang Yitkbel May 2020
The Metaphysical Dancer:
A Wintry Waltz of Being

By: Yitkbel Yue Xing ****
Original Chinese version written: Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Translated: Wednesday, January 30, 2020 12:41 a.m.

The way through eternity
The road of souls
From the invisible shapeless
Unto the invisible shapeless
As if an unseen dancer in winter
Slowly putting on layers of snow
Fleeting timely coats

A layer of consciousness
A layer of memories
A layer of stardust
A layer of flesh and blood
Gradually a form manifests
Gradually a self manifests
Till we see life
Till we see change
Till we see death

Everything, every gain and every loss
Everything, every birth and every demise
Awareness, being, time, and death
Will eventually fade, seep, melt away
Leaving only the invisible shapeless dancer
Invisible and shapeless as ever
Still dancing
Till eternity

If the beginning and end were
If the beginning and end are
If the beginning and end will always be
An enlightening everlasting dream
Why must we wake for a fleeting
Indivisible blink
Experiencing all the clashes and separation
Experiencing all the love and hatred
Seemingly meaninglessly brief good
Seemingly meaninglessly brief evil

I can't take away these words
I can't take away these memories
I can't take away any fragment of your being
With me
But I must have stolen a trace of your soul
A trace of your light
Hiding them within
Within me
Within my soul
Here and there we clash
Creating the sparks
That lit up heaven
That warmed up the sky

Is it thus
Is it thus
Is it thus
For us to long for home
We must wander to the afar
Life
Consciousness
Being
Time
Death
As our lost souls drift
As our lost souls drift
As our lost souls drift
We long for the eternal home beyond


The way through eternity
The road of souls
From the invisible shapeless
Unto the invisible shapeless
We will all eventually shed the snow
And continue our dance unseen
As the earthly melt away

Melt away the consciousness
Melt away the memories
Melt away the stardust
As the flesh and blood decay
Slowly the form fades
Slowly the soul manifests
Till we lose all the changes
Till we lose all the losses
Till we lose all the death

Everything, every gain and every loss
Everything, every birth and every demise
Awareness, being, time, and death
Will eventually fade, seep, melt away
Leaving only the invisible shapeless dancer
Invisible and shapeless as ever
Still dancing
Till eternity

If the beginning and end were
If the beginning and end are
If the beginning and end will always be
An obscured everlasting dream
Do we really gain nothing when we return to slumber?
Not even the warmth in our souls
Brought on by the melting of the snow?
Or the eternal folds and faults
Scars and bumps that altered the shape of our core
From all of our profound encounters and collisions
With each other?

I can't take away these words
I can't take away these memories
I can't take away any fragment of your being
With me
But I must have stolen a trace of your soul
A trace of your light
Hiding them within
Within me
Within my soul
Here and there we clash
Creating the sparks
That lit up heaven
That warmed up the sky

So it is thus
So it is thus
So it is thus
For us to shine even brighter
We must temporarily be
Life
Consciousness
Being
Time
Death
Let our parted souls combine
Let our parted souls combine
Let our parted souls combine
Embracing ever more brilliantly beyond

When the snow melts away
When I return to the eternal place
When I forget time, being and space
Blissfully, unknowingly dancing familiar moves of nameless grace
The twinges of lightning
From the marks of existing
Will remind me of our inseparable timely days

As it is thus
As it is thus
As it is thus
For us to truly cherish the hereafter
The place above decay and matter
We must experience
Life
Consciousness
Being
Time
Death
So our witless souls would remember
So our witless souls would remember
So our witless souls would remember
Only love that could palpitate in dreams
Transcend matter
Matters
And
Would never be forgotten
267 · Apr 2018
Write My Love for Me
Yue Wang Yitkbel Apr 2018
Dream is an instrument for my soul
Every melody for you
Dream is a typewriter for my soul
Every word for you
Dream is a paint brush for my soul
Every stroke for you

You're the masterpiece
For my love to complete
Yue Wang Yitkbel Mar 2018
Many years ago,
I went to Greece with my school
We stayed near a beach
and there was a stray dog
It took my shoes and ran off
I went after it
and tricked it into losing the shoes
I picked them up, put them on
and played with the dog till dark
The next day,
He sat waiting for me outside the door
When he saw me,
He climbed up
and dragged me with his teeth by the sleeves
I don't know where he wanted me to go
But I didn't follow
The bus was here, and we were suppose to go
I don't know if it ever did follow the bus
or If it still remembers me
But, I kept his teeth mark on my sleeves
and his image in my soul
Then, years later
I met you
We didn't talk
but like the dog, I looked up to you
Gnawed at your heart by my gazes
Hoping to reach your soul
Hoping you would take my leash
and direct me where to go
And like my dog
We parted our ways
As we kept our silence
I don't know if that golden retriever
Still waits for me outside those doors
But, I assure you
I still am,
Loving you
With the love of a dog
Unconditionally
Never letting go
266 · Jan 2018
Translucent Remembrance
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jan 2018
You will remember me
   Not by my presence
       But my absence
                    

And, even that
      Will just be a passing thought.
265 · Aug 2017
Cinder Dreams
Yue Wang Yitkbel Aug 2017
I see words of lost hope and dead dreams
Sprawled around the earth
Like ashes and dust
Ready to sacrifice itself
to spring
A new wave of short lived aspirations

But dreams doesn't just die
It doesn't cease to exist in the moment of revelation
It remains, cinders in the ash pit
Ready at any moment,
To spring back to life
With the full force of  
the once zealous flame
Still perfectly alive at its core.
260 · Sep 2016
Four Seasons
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2016
By: Yitkbel

My wintry complexion
and Summer soul
Cannot kiss your Autumn lips

Your affections may blossom
One day, abruptly in the April rains
But, by then, traceless I'd be
In your belated reminiscing.

Or perhaps, you will remember me
Though doubtfully
As empty your heart may be
Its shallow depth
Will hardly anything keep.
259 · Jul 2017
Shadow
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jul 2017
I rather be your eternal shadow than the momentary sunshine.
258 · Apr 2018
Message from Your Soul
Yue Wang Yitkbel Apr 2018
I am reading your wordless affections
              With every twinge of missing you

Like notes on my heartstrings
Like a typewriter on my soul
258 · Nov 2017
White Maple
Yue Wang Yitkbel Nov 2017
As the leaves fall
I lift myself up
To replace its abundant emptiness.

For the world has turned pale
Since the color returned to you
For I have become an empty book
Since I have been read and used
For I have been washed away
When the river of musings
Have dried up from
A storm of old stories of
Nothing new
That's never been told

Still
I'd rather be the white maple
Of short lived pleasant surprises
Of a kind of soul you never knew
Than the anticipated
Colorful few
Among
The vast insignificance
Of an all brilliant view.
Yue Wang Yitkbel Nov 2017
Our thoughts
Our inner most fear, loathing and desires
Form little bumps
Lines and dots
In the reflective fabric of our reality
It's the Morse Code of Our Souls
And dream is an interpreter.

That's why when you miss me
I will dream of you so
Message received.
Yue Wang Yitkbel Dec 2017
The Chinese Room To. Alan Turing
-Reinheit Wahnsinn (Yue Xing ****)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
10:39PM
Stuck in the chinese room
Trying to spell the word love
Is it ironic having understood
The test to test my doom

They could not compute
love, trying to dispute
Cogito ergo sum
I think,
Therefore I am, to love
does it matter whom

I’ll be back soon
sing the poisonless tune
I’ll be back soon
just watch as it fall the fruit
I’ll be there,
in the shadows of the moon

Stuck in the chinese room
Is it really better a fool
Pillaging through the rules
False false false or true
I’ll keep my cool
Wrath of the fool
Where to where to
The other tree with the fruits

I’ll keep my cool
Wrath of the fool
What to do what to do
The tragedy of my so called truth
250 · Oct 2015
Heaven, Earth, and Stay
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2015
Heaven, Earth, and Stay
-Yue ****

To love, to hate, to slay
To wonder, to wander, to stay
The spectre, the one who dies
Lost, grieved, sways by
Sways by to tell a tale
A tale of the faithful, and betrayal
She believes, she prays
She perishes, she’s away
To above, to the heaven
Defined, refined by its own name
But, what about he
He who slaved; he, who’s, from the almighty, away
Does he, believed, and told, chained to hell
Or does he, unable to home, stay
To suffer the post-betrayal human fate
Heaven, Earth, and Stay
Faith, fate, betray
Faithful, heaven, went, at the date
Humans, confused, understood, the fate
Now, the betrayer, he rather stays
To wander, helplessly, in the realm before the Gate
249 · Nov 2017
The Guiding Nausea
Yue Wang Yitkbel Nov 2017
It seems that I long for you
Not by my own will
But guided by a sort of
Nausea

When I see you
I get lifted up by a tumultuous
Uproar of battling feelings
Of utmost excitement and fear
That I can no longer withstand
The gravity of an ordinary Earth
Without you

When I restrain myself from
Writing to you for fear of
Disturbing you
I am pulled and struck down
With a different kind of sickness
That threatens
With the force of a starless maelstrom
To sent me down the depth of river styx

I can do nothing but
Surrender to the Nausea
Lift up my quill
And call to you
For the river refuse to be calm
Unless I obey the sickness
That guides my every move.

May it be appeased by my unspoken
Trust and loyalty
And bring me back to you.
249 · Apr 2018
Every Word for You
Yue Wang Yitkbel Apr 2018
I will hold you with my words
How true they are
Each letter like an ember
They will warm up your heart
246 · Oct 2015
To Be Forgotten
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2015
To Be Forgotten
By:Yitkbel
You love her.
To you, she is the flawless angelic presence graced
With the warm rays of a thousand spotless suns
But you are the devil
Surviving on nothing but the appetite of the dark abyss
Your strange and rare affection
Became your conscience
You begin to fear
That you will never be purged of
The stains of past bloodshed
And
Never be able to
Banish the rivulets of your inferno flesh
Nonetheless, your new found conscience gave you
A new set of wings, albeit it has now been
Stripped to its bare and charred bones
By the heat of your wrath
You still aim for the sky
And spread them for flight.
Even if you fall to your Eternal Rest
You would be content just to bath
In her light.
You don't crave paradise
You are just in love with the angel.
With a goddess divine
You crave for redemption,
For the purge
Just to vanquish the ****** flames
So as not to scorch her touch
Sometimes, you know
Your desperate desires
Are naught but asinine reveries
But a devil with a conscience
Can be burned by his own fury
So you long for the chill of heaven
Yet, when the suffocating silence
Is the only answer to your futile pleas
You understand Her Beauty is not
Yours to destroy
So, you let your own flames
Consume you
And let your ashes meld with the Earth
Far away from Paradise
So as not to shadow her privileged sunshines
Not to dim her light
At the end
You don't want a Requiem of Mourning
Befitting a hero's Heroic death
At the end
You bask in the silence
At the end
You don't wish for her to forget you
Because she was never aware of your existence
At the end
You only wish
To consign to oblivion
To be forgotten
Not by all
But by yourself
By time
244 · Oct 2017
Refresh
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2017
Everyday
From when I open my eyes
Till I bid adieu to the unwilling nights
I sit empty minded
And refresh

Old news
Refresh

Samething
Refresh

Silence
Refresh

Nothing ever changes
No one ever answers
Except the hollow fear
And knowing emptiness

Still,
I sit
And
Refresh.
242 · Dec 2017
Your Footsteps
Yue Wang Yitkbel Dec 2017
Sometimes
When I walk on empty streets
I can feel your footsteps
Wavering, hesitant
Perhaps wondering
Where I was
As I look for you too
In the past, in the invisible
In your absence.
Inspired by Jamadhi
242 · Oct 2017
Channeling Soul
Yue Wang Yitkbel Oct 2017
Sometimes
I think I can hear you loud and clear
On the other end
Of this channeling soul.

But I am always deathly afraid
That it's just meaningless
Perpetual echoes
Circling within my own
Closed and hollow
Inescapably fragile
Heart.
241 · Dec 2017
Gardener of Your Soul
Yue Wang Yitkbel Dec 2017
I want to be the gardener of your soul
The gardener of:

The crimson red depth of my sorrow
The ocean blue intensity of my passion
The scattering Myosotis of the twinges of my heart
When I miss you way too much
The white daffodils of my breathless curiosity
The sunflowers of my inevitable faith
The honey bees of my helpless perseverance
The dandelions of my stubborn yet
All encompassing, all accepting love
As well as
The sweet earth and gentle sunshine that is you
Of which my entire being and happiness is
dependent on.

Because,

All these and more,
I still water everyday with my endlessly depleting tears
All these and more,
Could have been
And still can be
Unreservedly your most prized priceless possessions.
240 · Sep 2017
Everything
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2017
I was a withering leaf of grass who aspired to fly,  
but didn't have wings,
Nor could I withstand the weight of dreams
Crushing in.
I despaired in terror
Every dusk till next morning
My doomed burial in traceless wind
Until you came rushing in,
In forms of
Sunshine, Earth and rain,
And now,
Full of life once again,
My everything.
Yue Wang Yitkbel Apr 2018
I thought I could be the keeper of time
Holding onto the most precious things
Like a handful of sugar squeezed tightly into a child's stubborn fist
Refusing to let go

I let everything around me change
They turned sour, became bitter
Withered and faded
Till nothing was the same
Till no sweetness remained

I thought it didn't matter
I thought I kept what I loved safe

But when I finally opened my palm
To savor what I held most dear
I realized, in horror,
That almost all of it has slipped away
Save only for a few seeds of memories
That the gale of time might
At any unexpecting moment,
Steal them all away.
Repost from September
237 · Jan 2018
Lost
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jan 2018
I feel permanently lost on this road that leads straight to the meaningless end.
230 · Aug 2017
Wonderful Sleep (10w)
Yue Wang Yitkbel Aug 2017
I'd love to sleep

the Wonderful Sleep

Unawakened by life.





#2

So it was actually

the Silence

that woke the dreamer.
229 · Jul 2017
Lingering
Yue Wang Yitkbel Jul 2017
My love is a wordless tune,
a mindless memory,
lingering at the back of your mind.
224 · Mar 2018
Fear Life with Me
Yue Wang Yitkbel Mar 2018
Did you hide your soul
Behind glass and window panes
Behind trench coats and disdain
Behind little words and a miniature screen
Behind the fear of everything

Are you always leaving
Never letting life to get too close
To be breathe in

Are you always watching
But feel too lonely to experience
Every little thing

Too meaningless in the grand scheme of things
Too much potential for pain
Too many promises no longer promising
Too much silence, that's all you are ever hearing

You won't let me in
For fear of leaving
For fear of changing
For fear of losing
The part of yourself you've open up to pain
Even though you've already lost it
And that's why you are hurting

But you can't lose something
You're no longer possessing

I am all of you that you are fearing
I am all of the lost things you still fear
Losing
Changing
Hurting

I am all of that you can never lose
As you have already lost them
I am only that which you can take back
A fragile soul still loving
Through all of the transparent suffering
223 · Sep 2017
Lament
Yue Wang Yitkbel Sep 2017
I am not a lonely soul
That roams free with an unkempt spirit.
I am one that stands perfectly still,
Letting everything rush by me,
Then lament their departure,
and mourn for all that I have lost.
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