Survive
Breathe
Time jump
Static
Noon to eve
Deliberate breaths
Resurfaced wounds
Never healed
Empty time passed
Endlessly
Scene after scene
Escaping my surroundings
And hiding in the foreign

Your arms around me
Your hands
Your smile
Kiss to my forehead
Nothing I yearn for like your warmth
Your warmth is what I seek

Our fingers intertwining
Your forehead leaning against my cheek
As we waltz together
Your body is what my arms yearn for
Just like how your arms always encircle me

I want you
And I'm so happy to have you
Thankful to God to have you
And I'll continue to thank God
We are each others

No one else's love brings forth greater emotions for me than yours

There's always another day
Another rising sun
Breath in
Breath out
Life keeps going on

And the wounds that keep reopening
On my back
Grow throughout the day
And bleed into the night
It's me who has to bend
Into impossible positions to sow it back up
It's me who's left with scars out of sight
Draining me to the last bits of my energy
And yet I can't sleep
Breathe in
Breathe out
Silence is the most peaceful bout
Until you look deeper in
The turmoil swims throughout

I want my wounds to heal
Want my skin to gleam
Want my bones to reconnect
With the wings they never met
Please let me meet you
Let me meet you outside this cage that's supposed to be a comfort

Sometimes paint brushes feel like
They belong in my hand,
Paint ready to be laid
A story ready to be lain
Strewn across canvas
Air
Skin
The night sky that shine down on me
And the world that continues around me
A me conflicted between this world and a world that doesn't exist
And so my mind supplies
And it sees the paint on bristles
Holding words that'll echo a world that cannot exist outside my mind.

It's a new world.
That moment you resurface
To catch a breath.
Large and dragging
Loud
Water spills away from skin
And the sky never looked the way it does now.
What was I doing underwater?
And what am I doing here,
At the surface?
And the water just encases me
Almost as if I belong in it
And yet I don't.
The water feels so right that
Just like the way it holds me,
My body, mind and heart yearn in return
And the water accepts my tears in a way
That says my tears are part of this ocean

And yet I'm at the surface
And I see the sky that looks so foreign
And the clouds that I can barely register roll by
And the sun that shines its warmth on me
Contrasting the water that returns to the ocean
And I don't want those droplets leaving me
But choices continue to be made and the ocean I swim in isn't mine
Shouldn't be mine
And yet here I am
Questioning what makes a swimmer swim
And whether the ocean reciprocates the desire the swimmer holds for each arm turned in its embrace,
Each leg kicked in an effort to keep up with the enormity of the ocean.

Swimming in the waters
That were once thick
Breathing ocean air comfortably
Heart beat no longer quick
Floating in these waters
As I have never done before
Relaxing my mind from
All that was once ashore
Beneath me
Above me
Around me
No longer there
Except for the waves that sway
And give to the passing of my limbs
Except for the blue skies that reach
To pass into the ocean
Except for the sun that shines from a distance...
And maybe I can feel it's warmth again

Maybe it's easy to pity myself
In the absence of pity,
In the wake of disregard and judgement,
In the choice of abandoning my surroundings.
If love is a window,
I've been told it's broken,
Not there,
A fairytale rotted within
The clutches of time,
Unachievable by the likes of I...
My home is a frozen ice palace
My touch is destruction
My heart is darkness
My past is molten tar
Myself distancing
From everything

The world is beautiful
But filled with shadows.