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Hanzou Nov 2024
Each day, the quiet feels heavier and long, missing the chats that felt like a song.
Seven years spent talking from dawn till night, now silence fills where you brought light.
You rush to move on, leave it all in the past, while I’m stuck watching memories last,
Holding pieces that won’t let me be, haunted by echoes you can’t see.

Forgive me if I linger, scrolling through your trace, still tied to the warmth of your fading face,
Watching you find ways to let go, as I stay where our moments flow.
I see your posts, seeking love, seeking care, searching for something we used to share,
While I wonder if I did enough, or if I was never truly what you dreamed of.

Seven years, scattered like dust in the air, gone in a blink while I’m still there,
Tracing memories like lines in sand, wishing you'd reach back, to take my hand.
But I know you’re trying to start anew, letting go of all we once knew,
While I hold the weight of what we were, feeling like just a fading blur.

I want to speak, to tell you I care, to remind you of the love we shared there,
But I know reaching out would feel wrong, like trying to keep you where you don’t belong.
So here I am, with memories tight, holding onto pieces each day and night,
Watching you go, finding someone else’s light, while I fade into the shadowed night.
am I really not enough?
Hanzou Nov 2024
Strange, isn’t it? How the boy I never thought to fear,
Now walks beside her, in whispers she holds dear.
A year they’ve known, yet closer they’ve grown—
While I drift alone, like a heart made of stone.

Seven years we wove with threads of care,
Built from laughs and tears and promises rare.
But he, in months, has somehow won a part,
That I spent years trying to hold in her heart.

She says his confession was light as air, just words—
But he remains, while my love fades unheard.
Best friends, she calls him, like an easy refrain,
While I smile, hiding the quiet, growing pain.

So here I am, a shadow of what we were,
In the life we planned, now a faded blur.
Watching him stand where I once stayed,
As I learn to let go, where I thought we’d be made.
I feel pathetic for being like this, even though we've long since broke up. I guess I am just a effed and wicked person.
Hanzou Oct 2024
Did I fall short, or did I misread
The ways I tried to give her all she’d need?
Each word I spoke, each touch, each vow,
Feels hollow now, like it wasn’t enough somehow.

She writes of dreams, of love she longs to find,
Of feeling wanted, held in heart and mind.
But wasn’t that what I tried to be?
Or was I blinded by what I hoped she’d see?

If someone new can heal her scars,
Can be her light, her moon and stars,
Then I’ll step back, though it stings to know
That all I gave couldn’t help her grow.

So here I stand, with open hands,
An echo left in fading sands,
Wondering where my love went wrong,
While she finds her way, where I don’t belong.
unsaid words.
Hanzou Oct 2024
From a distance, I watch the space between two friends grow small,
A quiet closeness forming, a step—a drift—I’ve seen it all.
Their laughter fills the hours from morning’s start to evening’s fall,
And somehow, I feel more distant now than I ever did before.

He’s just a friend, she says, with the ease of practiced lines,
But there’s a weight in his gaze, a purpose behind his time.
Perhaps it’s nothing, or maybe it's the way these things unwind,
One steady step into spaces I once thought were mine.

I asked her, lightly, to guard the borders of their ties,
A simple caution shared, a soft concern disguised.
But my words fell like whispers, dismissed into the skies,
Leaving me with an ache, unseen, unspoken, denied.

So here I am, a spectator to the subtle, shifting ways,
Caught between letting go and the memory of better days.
If this is what it means to care, in all the ways love decays,
Then I’ll stand in silence, holding the ghost of us in place.
poems from my muddled mind.
Hanzou Oct 2024
I keep on wishing, praying that you’re well,
Hoping you find the love that makes your heart swell.
I tell you, “Find the one who’s meant for you,”
But deep inside, I ache, wondering why it can’t be true.

Why can’t I be the one you hold dear,
The one who quiets your doubts, who dries every tear?
I want so badly for you to see me that way,
Yet I watch you drift farther, with each passing day.

I don’t want someone else to take my place,
But how can I ask, when I’ve given you space?
I wish you’d be better, for me, here and now,
Yet I swallow the words, not knowing how.

How selfish of me to want you near,
When all I ever do is wish away your fear.
I put your happiness above my own,
And in that act, I’m left standing alone.
That should be me. I hope it would be me. But I know it's just wishful thinking.
Hanzou Oct 2024
I know one day, someone else will take my place,
They’ll kiss those lips and feel her warm embrace.
They’ll hold her close, whisper words I used to say,
And share the secrets I once held, now washed away.

Someone new will take her hand, see her tender side,
The parts of her heart she used to let me inside.
I was once the one, her shelter and her calm,
But now I’m just a memory, fading in her palm.

Jealousy stirs, a quiet ache I can’t deny,
Thinking of her laughter shared with another girl or guy.
But it’s not my place, not my right to say,
I’m just the one who couldn’t let her drift away.

So here I stay, with shadows of what used to be,
Unable to move on, though she’s finally free.
She’ll find her peace, while I watch her from afar,
As someone else becomes her moon, her guiding star.
the man who can't be moved.
Hanzou Oct 2024
Now I see her rebuilding, piece by piece,
The person I once loved, finding her own release.
She thinks of me as lustful, only caring for her skin,
But I watch her now, embracing the self she’s within.

Why couldn’t she see her worth when we were still entwined?
Why did it take my fall for her to free her mind?
But maybe that’s the way it’s meant to unfold,
Her growth born from the stories of me, cold.

If being the villain makes her stronger, that’s fine,
If in their eyes, I’m the reason she found her line.
Let me be the bad guy, if that’s the price to pay,
For her to rise and move forward, far away.

I’ll wear the mask they paint, with no defense or plea,
If it gives her the strength to be all she can be.
Let me be the villain, if that’s what it takes,
To see her rebuild, even if it’s on my mistakes.
I'll gladly accept whatever other people think of me.
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