At some point, we all reach happiness.
We all get there in different paces.
I've been working on my strides,
but baby wait for me at the finish line.

They all talk about loving with all their heart as though it's enough to contain the way their whole body feels. I love you with everything that I am; every good morning, every goodnight.  I love you with the scars and birthmarks that make home on the surface of my skin. I love you with everytime the corners of my mouth can't help but turn upward and my hands can't help but pinch my legs to make sure all of this is real. I love you with every finger that grips onto your shirt when we kiss, I love you with every kiss I plant on your neck when we drown ourselves in bottles of alcohol and get high on each others laughter. I love you, I love you, I love you. I never want to stop loving you. I've never felt anything like this before, and if you leave; I fear I'll never feel anything again.

I've never wanted someone so much it felt like all I was ever doing was wait for them. There's always a designated area, always an assigned seat, always a reserved table. I still don't know what my boundaries are to loving you, but so far you've taken up my entire train of thought. The cart that was filled with my sanity is filled with the thought of wanting you; and I'm starting to lose my mind. I have no control over the route of these copper tracks. I don't know when I'm expecting to find myself laying beside these rails wishing things would have gone a different way. There's no heads or tails in the gamble of love. I've put my heart on the table, waiting to see what you're willing to lose and it won't be as much as I'm willing to give; but that's just my luck. I'm never the one who walks out with the better end of the bargain, I just want something to be mine. The something being you, the mine being me. Together in a game that I can make easy to play. A train ride that lasts long enough for us to be able to pinch ourselves and it still be real. A reserved area that no one gets the power of overtaking. I'm in for the long shot, I'm willing to risk it. Just come down to the station and and buy a one way ticket.

It's been a while
And I've grown quite numb
To the opinions of my peers
And the attributes would succumb
Only to settle on happiness or joy
Why must a girl sacrifice, explain herself, justify who she is..
For the right to love a boy?

And to the parents who make me feel like a burden,
Each time they complain about my existence in this gloomy house; its a knife to my stomach
You see, I've grown tired of crying off the stress
Since when was my life a giant web of a mess?
I've learned many things from people I wanted to surround myself with
now all I know is that love is setting fire to a built bridge

And yet...
Here I am, a page away from a new chapter
Here comes the autumn, and what comes after
Here comes college, two years; too long of a wait
Here comes new memories to make the bad ones fade away

For far too long I studied my attic
Studying the architecture;
The beams making a perfect gallows-like feature

I took a long flight out to Colorado to escape the demons and find inner peace
But sometimes these demons still follow me...