The steel blade makes a ****,
A deep slash.
Blood pours down the drain.
Am I pretty now?


I cover who I truly am.
I hide myself from the world.
I ask you...
Am I pretty now?


I have had my fair share of battle scars.
Heard words that stung like bees.
Each time we hear those words, we ask ourselves:
Is it true? What did I do?


You make us weak.
You break us down.
You make us think:
Am I really ugly now?


Look around,
Take a good look.
We hide from the world,
Because of your words.


You make us feel unwanted!
Like a disease that can be contracted!
What gave YOU the right,
To make us feel like this?


I never understood why,
People talk like this.
Have they got no heart?
Have the got no soul?





What makes them feel,
Like this is all right?
To make others suffer,
With no friends in sight?


What gives them the right,
To make fun of us?
They don’t know us.
They don’t know what we have been through.


The worst part is,
After you realize you’ve pushed too far.
They are gone,
And they are not coming back.


You mourn for their loss,
But why bother at all?
You are the one,
Who caused it all.


They might have grown up to be brilliant,
But they can’t.
They were robbed of that chance,
As soon as the first word left your mouth.


There is one word that describes you perfectly.
BULLY!
Your ruined their chances,
At a thing we call life.


It’s your fault.
They never did anything.
Why them?
What made you choose them?


It’s really disgusting.
What you did.
You know that,
Right?





How do you feel?
Proud? Happy? Accomplished?
Or do you feel ashamed?
Think about it.


YOU JUST MADE SOMEBODY
END THEIR OWN LIFE!


It’s all your fault they are gone.
So think to yourself,
‘What Have I done?’


I ask you...
Am I pretty now?

O hear me , you sow what you reap, love others as you love yourself.
Hear me, we need to heed Christ warnings, love others unconditionally.
Remember you do evil to other people it will come back on you.
This is what Christ is trying to tell the whole world right now.
It seems like some people are blind to this,  Politians for one group.
Sow love and you shall get love in return, this is very important.
Love is greater then wealth or anything else on this dead planet.

Love** is my religion.

Whatever you're poppin'
Won't be stoppin'
Your world from droppin'

There was a time that I loved you
there was a time that I cried
there was a time that we parted
as we said our goodbyes.

There was a time for friendship
there was a time for peace
there was a time that I ruined it
by the hatred I preached.

There was a time for my guilt
there was a time for remorse
there was a time that you loved me
but you don't anymore.

It's now time for acceptance
It's now time to move on
It's now time to release you
and know that you're gone.

They say everyone has that one that got away,
The big fish.
I had always dreamed of my very own big catch.
It can be anything really though,
I for one don’t even like fishing.
But,
I still had my big fish, metaphorically speaking of course.
Its water that it taunted me with were cities I have never been to, and quite possibly never will be.
This big fish didn’t even know I was on the hunt for it.
I was but one of the thousands of fisherman looking for the same one.
It’s been caught before, many, many times.
But always released.
Never to be held on.
As quickly as it settles, it is gone again, to another city, another town and even another country.
Sometimes, I daydream about catching it.
I imagine the joy I would have and the biggest smile I have ever seen on my own face.
I would dance, and let all my troubles just float away if I caught it.
I have tried several times; through trial and error I kept learning new ways to catch it.
I studied its patterns and learned where its next location would be.
But I kept getting held back, told it was just a crazy dream.
They were right though.
A crazy dream indeed.
But a dream I had since I was just a boy.
I hated this fish in the beginning, thinking it was ugly and wasn’t worth my time.
But with my age growing, so did this desire towards it.
It drew me in.
The stories, the legends and even the photos lured me in.
I even thought, maybe it was luring me in.
Did it want to consume me?
…
Should I let it?
Should I forget all my prior engagements, my responsibilities, the tasks at hand that need to be done?
Should I just leave it all?
…..
What if,
What if I was disappointed?
That I wasn’t worth the fight and the struggle that had troubled me for so many years?
….
Who knows,
I know this though, that I have found my big fish,
And well maybe it was good enough to me, to have something to think about.
I guess I’ll just let it play out, that no matter what, fate will lead me to it,
To this big fish.

the currency of
grieving is in....

casseroles and soups,
left with notes,
on the back doorstep

flowers, bright, beautiful
and fragant,
delivered by gangling, teenage boys.

awkard silences and cups
of lukewarm tea.
mumbled condolences and
too tight hugs

late night rememberances,
after,
far too many drinks

tears, laughter and
in-house jokes...
photos, stories and 
space for quiet reflection.

these things are...
the dollars and cents
of  grief for a friend

but when all is, said
and done....

i would much prefer
to be penniless,
begging on the street,
with pockets empty
and moths for friends.