I try to find you in the rainforest, but cannot chase you in these infinite gigantic woods,
Though I see you in the white dress with that pretty smile, but you disappear till I reach you,
Every inch of this rainforest chants your name, you influence the weather and the colour of the hue,
I was blinded by the clouds and knowing the mistakes I made, I myself shall correct them too,
One day I'll storm, rains will wash away the fallen leaves, and I myself shall destroy the roots,
I wish I could keep the good memories, the fruits and the flowers, but I won't keep even the smell of you.

He was a simple guy with no big dreams,
He used to watch horror movies just to hear her screams.
She was as beautiful as an angel from heaven,
Perfect red and sweet as a  fresh watermelon.
She said she had come from a strange place,
Their friendship had just taken a good pace.
The Warmth of her body made him forget all his pains,
Her soft hands had become a necessity for the blood in his veins.
He felt her as protective as the earth's ozone,
He felt she would never ever leave him alone.


But one day she vanished like a meteor in the universe,
Maybe it was all a dream, but his rest life felt like a curse.
He had spent his best days of his life with her,
He didn't know that she ll make him suffer.
No one knew where she had gone,
With a broken heart he was left alone.
He  spent nights wandering about the street,
Hoping for just one last meet.
But Nothing was expected to be better,
He remained just a lifeless piece of matter.
His only moon for the nights had vanished,
She was the only girl whom he had cherished.
On this night of despair he was alone,
Left with a broken heart , rather a stone.
Will his love drive him to her ?
Maybe god had chosen him to suffer.

You do not appear to me as the light of the sun,
You rather appear dark, like a curvy fabric of space pulling me,
I fail to find the stillness in you, to sail past unharmed,
You are like a hypnotising blue wave, promising fun in drowning,
I know I should've turned the ship away, before it was too late,
But silly soul had planned the adventure, before conscience was awake.

I broke down once again , in the middle of my journey,
The tears on my face , do they really seem to be funny?
I scream on my mother , call my father a ******,
I m really sorry daddy for opening my mouth.
I go crazy on my failures , i can't bear them anymore,
I don't want my parents to fight and my little brother to sore.
I just hate myself for breaking their precious dreams,
Sorry mama , i couldn't get you anything , but just tears and screams.
How do parents manage to love thier children and never negotiate?
Those children who think that their parents are their worst fate.

My mother
She wakes up in the morning works up until late.
She washes up the dishes regardless of the date,
I never see her complaining about the pain that I give her.
She always motivates me and never scolds for my failures,
My father
He works day and night for us , so that we can have fancy meals,
He used to give me what i wished, a kiss was all he asked from me,
I couldn't do at that time and now regret upon those deals,
I can't describe his generousness in words , i feel afraid god might curse me.

As I feel myself broken and everytime I sigh,
I sob upon my father's shoulder or sleep on my mother's thigh.
I don't know why they love me the way that I be,
Are they tied towards relations? Or its their unconditional love towards me?
I have seen two of the best people in my life,
And I wish they stay safe, happy here after cuz now,
They are free from their toughest phase,
I am sorry I couldn't do , what you wished for,
I worked hard completely ,but i can't manage to hurt u anymore.
God give them all the happiness and their life's best days,
Give them someone who can manage to be worthy of their praise.

There’s no peace I can find, in any corner of the world,
I go to the woods and find the swaying trees whispering your name,
The light of the sun caresses my body like your touch,
The evening hues seem coated with the color of your skin,
I find your gaze in the eyes of the eagle, strong yet subtle,
The flowers seem to do nothing but smell like you,
I don't blame the sweet peas or the woods,
Because maybe I’m in love with you.

I go to the seas, with agony and grief,
Hoping that the waves, would weather my wit,
But I get lost in the waters, as if it were your arms,
The seagulls chant your name and I chase them, to the storm,
The ferocious storm haunting the sea is like my feelings for you,
I see the billows heading towards me, the wreck is a gift, if it's from you,
I don't blame the the clouds or the gales,
Because maybe I'm in love with you.

I remember the day I met him, skinny body and blad head,
Unusual walk and words with disordered pauses that led,
I remember looking at the sky and complaining, "why'd you do this to him?"
I saw him absurdly smile at me and my eyes were filled with tears up to the rim,
It was hard to look into his innocent eyes, they reminded how gifted I was,
I consoled myself by reasoning that maybe it is karma and that unvierse has its laws,
But then I saw him yesterday encircled by hundreds of people, begging for mercy,
Most of the people beating him, were just showing off their courtesy,
Collectively they pleasured the sadistic joy to watch him helplessly quaver in pain,
Everybody stood anchored hearing his cries while they turned his body into grains,
My body was shaking and palms sweating, I couldn't watch him bleeding,
But like a coward I stood there, waiting for those hungry wolves to stop feeding,
My heart dwindled to a state of non existence seeing the tears in his father's eyes,
I know he was wrong when he touched that eight year old girl between her thighs,
His mother shouldn't have told him to run away and nuture all the lies,
But one chance is all he asked for, when his feeble gaze chisled my eyes.

I like this, being with you.
I like watching you in your entirety,
Your rhythmic breathing excites me.
And while I sail past these silent waters,
I move the paddle subtly, to not disturb you.

It’s hard to believe you’re here,
Are you here? With me?
Are you conscious of me?
Are you too involved to think about me?
I hope my incisive mind is wrong
This one time,
It cries that you smile at me
thinking about someone else.

You understand me like no one else,
How am I? I should ask you!
Why did you like me before? Wait,
Did you ever like me?
Or you just wanted to conquer me?
Did you agree to be with me through this journey?
Why’re you leaving then? We’re not even halfway!

I know you maybe, you're innocent,
You care about me enough to not hurt me,
But you play with my feelings somehow,
You like it when I am not who I am,
When I am hurt and broken,
You like breaking me every day, don't you?
Is there something left of me to feed upon now?
If so feed upon me, because I like this
Being with you.

I shouldn’t love you,
Maybe I don’t know how to love.
Fact is, you don’t love me,
That you make me feel.
Where do I go from here?
There’s no light I see in any direction,
I feel hauntingly suffocated by my feelings,
Strangled by the fact that you’ll be gone soon.

I cannot ask you to stay,
I cannot deprive you of your freedom,
So even if you have the slightest doubt
Don't stay,
Maybe it's only after this ends, you’ll love me back.
Maybe it'll be too late, maybe it'll never be,
But till then, I shall live with all of you that's inside me
Because I like this,
Being with you.

We spent nights under the spell of the stars,
They used to lighten the holy intertwine of ours,
Her face looked magical in the light of my cigar,
Her body looked like a moon in a sky completely dark,
Her lips tasted like the best wine of the best bar,
Her steady movements could be compared to that of a jaguar,
Her moans felt like the gentle tunes of a guitar,
I still don't believe we got separated this far.
I still remember the taste of her skin,
I still remember the smell of her breath,
I still remember the night we had done this scene,

There was a time when I used to be the first,
It was the time when I had her to fill my thirst.
Now that you ask me my situation,
I may tell you that it couldn't have been worse,
She was a drug I regret being addicted,
I never felt that my story would've been this badly predicted,
Never in life I ever felt myself this distracted,
I wonder whether she was the only girl whom I had loved and protected,
Now that i m all alone nothing fascinates me more than the nature,
It makes me feel her presence and I feel I m living with her,
I find her attitude in the lush green mountains,
I find her smell in the wet sands just after the rains,
I find her spirit in fast flowing western winds,
I find her voice in the waves of the Arabian sea,
So I find her everywhere I go,
I feel sorry that I'd hurt her ego,
I started writing just because of her ,
I wanted our stories to be read by the world,
And I wished I'd never have to write this one,
I never thought i'll become so lifeless just because of a girl,
If she ever asks u about me , tell her that I died,
Because if she had lust then my unconditional love is not justified.

Been feeling lost, maybe it's the wanting to be explored,
Though the boundaries are not well defined of yours truly,
And like the sand of the shore I change, momentarily,
It is such maybe so that the remains of the past would wash away,
And even though for a wink, it can all be still, like a low tide,
For it is then that a new wave will arrive, bring new life,
With hope I shall wait, for it is only the ocean that will suffice my thirst.

Everyday I wonder how you'd think about me in your head,
I wish you knew that I think just of you, laying wide awake in my bed,
I cannot stop picturing me with you and I never want this feeling to end,
But I fear, till my stories come true and my letter reaches you I might be dead.

If I was to write a book, I'd describe that pretty smile of yours in all the pages,
I need to tell you that it's just you I think of when I fear performing on the stages,
I may not be a rich man ever but I feel your love could enrich my soul for ages,
My life may not be a huge success but your love is what I prayed to the sages.

I wish it was me you were talking to, when your friends make you feel unheard,
I wish I could someway tell how different you are from other sheeps in the herd,
Maybe you'll never know that I was your lover too except being a nerd,
Alas, it hurts me the most when I fathom that you are with me just in my songs O' beloved.

It was the place i loved being lost,
Everything there seemed pleasant , may it be thunder or frost.
How can i forget the words her tongue sketched on mine?
In her eyes i could see my love , i thought our relationship was divine,
But now whenever I think about her , i curse myself to be so unkind,
I wish i could correct my mistakes but unfortunately , time doesn't rewind.

With every thunder in the sky , it seemed , god took pleasure in taking a photo of ours,
We used to pray for each other with every shooting star ,
With her my every year passed like it was just an hour ,
If she was a disease , she left me with deep scars.

She was my source of gratification in the toughest time ,
My poems could never have been so beautiful without her rhyme,
She was the only protagonist of my every story,
Without her my words never possesed any glory.

I remember how we used to trod in the vale,
Two dopes debating sermons though none
of us used to fail.
Had you seen her in a garden, it would seem she is the only flower blooming,
Her breath smelled like the scent of peonies , whose longing has now made me stifling.

Nowadays i take care that no one hears me snivelling ,
I dont want them to see an exurbent guy grieving.
I try my best not to whimper seeing her smiling photo on instagram,
Last scene of my life , i always dream off is my head on her arm.

Amidst struggling to differentiate the acoustic chirps looming in the balmy afternoon,
Whilst contemplating the portrait of the still trees appearing from the window of my room,
I couldn't focus my mind to work and somehow it ended up recalling the childhood days,
The memories flashed of the innocent faces, the lovely games and the ugly tan of the fiery sun rays.

The time my mind used to be my friend and I never wanted things to be perfect,
I had no lust, no pride, though I wasn't the best but my friends still loved my intellect.
Without being a judge, I would enjoy observing the life unfold itself quietly,
It was the time I enjoyed solitude and embraced the company quite wisely.

It is hard to let go your loved ones, as hard as removing a tattooed name,
It hurts when you realise how you've been tricked into a never winning game,
You realise how you gambled all you had and now there's nothing left to claim,
I write my thoughts naked, I tell you I was fooled and I feel there's nothing to shame,
So I tell you to not let the mind overpower consciousness, in the end its just you to blame,
You won't realise the loss and even if you did, it would be quiet late, in your time frame.

I start to feel numb, as if the glaciers melting in my veins,
My head hurts as the inflated nerves choke my throat,
I am drained while my lungs try to match the beat of my heart,
I swiftly lose control of my body as the senses switch out.

-----------------------------------------------------------­---------

I have become inexpressible with my complex emotions,
I cannot get my mind to accept
That I hardly understand people now,
The sole vicious art that I was truly proud off.
The lies are laid out like carcasses that I can't meet my eyes with,
Why did I have to suffer again and again with the same kind of story?
Maybe because I did not learn from any.

Can it not be simpler for once? Perhaps it can!
Maybe I'll wait this time till the storm calms down,
Maybe I'll stay in, till the sun comes out,
Maybe then, I'll resume my journey afresh,
This time, I'll not look for companionship but wait,
Go on till someone's intrigued by my journey,
Till someone is intimidated by the euphoria in my eyes,
Wait for the perfect story to happen and not try to fabricate it-
In my head.

I fear that slowly I'll be abandoned by the world, maybe my corpse will earn no claims,
My irksome head hurts every second my heart pumps the blood in the veins,
Demure me, diving deeper into your ugly games was perceptibly losing grace,
You planned it all till here, made me so impotent that I cannot run the race.

It was your innocent eyes I was looking into, when you were digging my own grave,
It was your charm I was lost in, when you were triumphing in turning me into your slave,
My stifling body can't stop shouting your name but I know you won't answer my screams,
Because now you'll be gone, looking for other preys, not slay them but hunt their dreams.

Like a happy, oblivious flying bird shot through the sky, I fall.

I am hunted, I see the eyes that pursued me,
While I am in pain, pleading for death,
Those eyes don't talk to me.
They don't speak answers or express emotions
But leer at me with utmost attention
Like they were sure about slicing my limbs-
As if blinking would be condemned.

We didn't plan that sunday but I felt someone had,
I reached the park little early, just to enjoy the sky warm red,
I smiled at the sky watching the stiff trees embraced by the vine,
Meeting her was enough for me to believe in the divine.

The sun fell down after a while and the sky were shades of blue,
She smiled from a distance, I had to smile back but mesmerized me had no clue,
I wondered about the science behind her skin camouflaging with the color of hue,
Her company was a bliss, I felt her love as a reward that I had no karmas due.

I just want somebody to help me with my bruises,
To maybe help me cry and forget all the abuses.
I just want somebody to help me through the nights,
To maybe just remind me that I'll get through these fights.

I just want somebody to share the pain in my scars,
To maybe make me smile rather than change my stars.
I just want somebody to find me in my stories ,
To maybe help me escape and tear down all my worries.

I just want somebody to taste all my dishes,
To maybe just hear, when I am praying my wishes,
I just want somebody to hear me when I sing,
To maybe dance leisurely as I play my guitar strings .

I just want somebody to dive deep into my eyes,
To maybe make me laugh and fight all the cries,
I just want somebody to make me want to strive,
To maybe steer through or teach me how to drive.

I wander about the path solitude brought me to,
I wonder what i feel but speak in those interviews ,
I wonder how unkind was my own company to me ,
I wonder if I will have to live with the same person , i lived this birth with.

My words don't make sense to anyone ,
Some people think i am deep lost in my depression ,
Some think i have no interest left in any of my passions ,
The rest of them think that this cruel end of my story was a premonition.

I implored for mercy to god and humanity,
Tonnes of pyres is all i see in my vicinity ,
There has not been a day i have not been thinking of my disabilities,
Why did he implant in humans this feeling of fragility?

My soul denies to live today ,
the engines have stopped working and i am sure its the mayday,
I might have made a lot of mistakes which led me here,
Whenever i think about those things i wonder why i dont fear.

This delirium isloates me from this world,
I feel like a sheep far separated from the herd,
There not many reasons to my hamartia , not many lies ,
But today , the only protagonist of my parent's story dies.

When the moon shines to its extreme in the sky,
When my eyes shed tears but i tell myself it's not a cry,
When the shadows of the window grill covers up my bed,
I crawl to the window and sit near my desk,
I look towards the houses in my vicinity,
The roads were never so quiet, i wonder if this is really my city,
We have reached a time where 'back to normal' is just a hope,
But if we keep on hurting the environment like we've done all this time, there isn't any scope.  

Amid all these, i do smile when I think about you,
I wonder if you still like the sky to be a pink hue rather than blue,  
My mind keeps on replaying those memories we share,
I don't think god's been fare when my lungs miss your smell in the air,
The only fear i had was losing you, so now i don't fear doing any crime,
People are wrong when they say moving on is just a matter of time,
I hate the person in my mirror, and i am sure it hates me too,
I never felt so impotent and ugly when i was with you,
I feel older than my age and with every breath life just gets more *******,
I won't tell anybody what happened to 'us', perhaps I don't want to sound rude.
It was after you left, did I realize that I had left everybody who cared for me long ago,
Maybe, with you I never needed anybody, maybe you became my ego,
There was a time when i used to think of life as a love song,
But at this cold night i shiver thinking how I got it all wrong,
Since the day you left, I was earnestly waiting for you to follow me,
But it seems i was waiting for the skies to meet the seas.

I opened my eyes in the middle of the night,
I was struggling to standup and everything seemed at unrest that night,
Those stairways and the flickering lights held my eyes to surprise,
I smelled that of bacardi and my filthy look signalled that i had cried.

While thinking how i ended up here and what this place was,
My mind seemed confused and my heart seemed lost,
I struggled through the staircase of the building, a board said i had reached the 7th floor,
Suddenly i remembered everything about this place, and i hurried towards a door,

I didn't ring the bell but she opened the door,
Afraid to look into her eyes, i starred at the floor,
She told me to come in and there was no bound to my excitement,
I knew every inch of this abode, it was her appartment.  

In a moment a flashback ran in my mind,
A chapter of my life that had all the things just right,
I remembered all our happy days just at once along with all our fights,
Those lazy days and resltess, crazy nights,
I still sometimes wonder that she had some magical powers, i was sure she possesed some might.

She complained how ***** i looked and what i had made of myself,
She told me that i have to take care of my health,
Tears rolled through her eyes as they met mine,
Looking at her i wondered how god created someone so kind.

That night we sat besides each other and talked about life,
After some time, through the window appeared a beam of light,
I looked at her, she looked at me, a rare moment of ecstasy,
And then we kissed each other passionately, until we were tired and messy.

"See you next year my dear, stay happy!" She cried
And in the next moment she disappeared like a fairy in disguise,
I looked at the calendar to see what date it was,
It was 2 years to her demise and my heart once again frost.

Somehow things changed with time ,
She wasn't the same girl who used to dance in my rhyme,
The stage of my life had suddenly changed to a ugly mime ,
I had even started feeling that her days with me were an organised crime.

I searched everywhere but there's nothing that can heal my heart,
I feel sorry for those who loved me as I feel I've played my part,
I think this maybe because I am stuck and don't know how to restart,
I start to think this was meant to be, maybe I am not that smart.

My head throbs like my heart, every nerve on the edge to burst,
I chose the path of pleasures and now nothing can quench the thirst,
I stand at the edge of the cliff, memories flashing in my head,
I am mocked by people, my parents cry as I struggle towards my death bed.

I've lived enough with the demon inside me and I long to hear the prays,
I didn't have anyone to pour my heart out to so I write to you in this phrase,
Nobody really cares of you, love is myth my friend so don't get into those plays,
I hate to confess that I lost, but it's no lie that I couldn't walk out of this maze.

He was enjoying the aroma of bromeliads under the blue evening sky,
Watching the lost birds, trying to understand their pain through their cries.
Sitting on the same bench they used to sit,
Had shared enough of his pain with her and now it was time for her to quit.

He was anxious when he called her, she always knew when he lied,
She came running to the park, seeing her hustling towards him, he smiled.
Inspite of her decieving her thoughts, 'this is the last time we meet', he said and the skies cried,
Reasons didn't matter so she never asked but until tonight he had been her perfect guide.

Every night he watches the stars trying to embrace the lonely skies,
They never wanted their story to be a fairy tale and so there weren't any lies.
When the moon shines in the sky, he feels her presence,
Her warmth pressed against his chest , intertwining like fire and cigarette.

But the rest of their life wasn't a surprise,
For them staying together, she could have paid any price.
She always went to the park and waited until late night,
She feels he is watching her, maybe he is just out of her sight.

He disappeared like a piece of grain in a house of wheat sacks,  
She could never resist on her thought of him coming back.
But he never looked back at her to see the reaction to his words,
Maybe he knew how she'd feel , when he heard the cries of the lost birds.

I woke up with a smile which my brain almost forgot the codes to bring up,
I was feeling happy unknowingly and was waiting for my mind to interrupt,
Strangely my brain was quiet, i felt myself lost in a state I'd never been,
The room was completely red as the curtains struggled the sunlight in.

I felt the time had stopped and the earth ceased to rotate on its axis,
I thought maybe i died, maybe i ended my life like others, depressed in the times of crisis,
'woke up!' someone mumbled, my heart quivered as the voice echoed in my ears,
I felt my eyes drizzle as her smiling face greeted me, or maybe my fears.

My shivering body did calm as she wiped my tears,
I was happy that tonight when I cry there will be someone to hear,
It took severest penance of my life to impress the divine,
I was blessed with the boon to steal one evening from the cycle of time.

Our eyes talked years in a moment like it had been our past life,
The room turned dark after a while, just to let her face shine like a star light,
Pure as water she was, cleaning my memories of time,
Tender as a feather was her body, slowly intertwining in mine.

That night I begged the stars to change my fate,
I prayed with all my energy for the sun to rise a little late,
I held her tight so I could feel the movement of her body as she breathed,
As the sun rose, a last time we kissed and from the moment my existence ceased.