some days it's not so bad
I can keep my brain on track
but I can't stand the distance
between us
and I'd be there tomorrow if
I could find a way
I'll pull the money from my piggy bank
if it meant I could stay

just as always there are two sides to this
the love that pulls me towards you
and leaving my friends
we're all growing up and I guess that's okay
but I didn't expect  
to love you this way

She said:
I'm ready now -
Ready to be
in love

He said:
Someday, soon.
You will meet someone
who will constantly
and continually
move you.

She thought:
Not you?

He thought:
Please
let it be
me.

on a plane with rows of scared faces
first time flyers
exotic new places
but I'm going to east Texas
and I call you when I land
show me that taco place you love so much
you can drive slow, and I'll be holding hold your hand


I think if I was stuck for you for the rest of my life
maybe that wouldn't be so bad
we could hold hands when it gets quiet, listen to the echoes of our breath

I didn't bite my nails in your presence
you made me forget to be anxious
you're changing majors there's major changes and  
I wana paint a picture but I don't have a brush/ so I'll use my hands as you did once, I'll be gentile, loving, and smooth to the touch

.,

Your things have been bagged, sitting in my closet for nearly
three weeks
theres still the pictures
the polaroids of you
of us
easter with your mom
most days im fine without you

it doesnt mean i dont worry for you though
for how everything is changing for you
i hope you're doing alright
cause im not gonna ask
we decided its better that way right?

for one moment,
for just barely a breath,
I felt whole.
happy
eased
calm
beautiful
youthful
and completely okay.
but it was just a moment,
one that shall not be repeated.