I crushed my heart against a blank page.
And I watched as the bare white of the page disappeared
behind the thick layer of maroon I smeared.
I composed a symphony
that consisted of every sound that had ever resurrected a grim memory.

I sought solace in pain, it was the only constant I had ever known.
I had intended to perform this song for her.
I had hoped that she would find comfort in my pain
the way I found comfort in her rapid heart beat.
So I silently chanted what I had prepared while neatly folding the sheet.
I am sure every fold is symmetrical, just before stuffing it into my pocket.

Our eyes met and my insides collapsed as she stared into me.
I fumbled to grasp my confessions.
But once I held the creased sheet before her, stabbing me with silence
she swiftly made her way to a desk and burrowed her head in her arms.

Immediatly after lifting her head she began to scribble furiously.  
Her pen bled onto the paper
and
I watched her mind melt onto the page.
How effortless I thought.

I was once a body of water
There were worlds of life within me
I was deep
I was clear
I was iridescent
And I was beautiful.

I was looking around like a child
like a lost child
Desperately seeking a face as worn as my own
Eyes just as sunken
deep
within their sockets
Crouched in a corner
hidden
a body just as beaten
down
Find me
A heart just as wild
Unlike a child
I did not seek guidance
I was never really hidden
only hiding
Hoping someone would take control
because there are things i cannot(control)
My skin crawls, I'm restless
But do not pity me.
Take me.
Pin me down.
Pierce nails into my hands and feet
Keep me from floating away
Again
I was hoping someone would take control
of what grows inside of me

I haven't been hungry for weeks
but you are all I have craved
since I last saw you smile.