Leaving my schedule open all summer is like having a guest room in your house when you’ve never had a single guest
It’s just in case a friend needs me or wants to spent time with me
I’m too scared to ask to visit anyone when it might be inconvenient for them so
I put extra nice sheets on the bed
I bought new candles
There’s a mini fridge with my friends’ favorite drinks and a cabinet with their favorite snacks
But they go bad after a while and it’s costing a lot to keep the supply stocked
I keep a gluten free cookbook in my kitchen so I can make dinner for anyone who asks
Now I just feel stupid and don’t have any money
I didn’t get a summer job in case they invited me on a trip or someone needed taken to the doctor
I send them cards and text them to remind them I’m still here
I dust the dresser and keep the widows clean & count the days until their birthdays
I’m thinking about just selling this house and getting an apartment somewhere else
But what if my friends need me?

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

As the sun navigates the sky
Ages will pass and time will come by
When the stars were shining, I was growing up
Responsibilities had settled in
And before I knew it,
I forgot about the stars