You asked me do I hate you
You asked me do I believe you
You asked me why I trust you

What was your intention ?

When I answered
No
Yes
Yes

What was your intention

Did you aim to make me hate you
Did you try to make me disbelieving
Did you want to break my trust in you

What was your intention

I told you to hurt me.
You said no
No
No
No
No
No
NO

What was your intention

I dared you to hurt me
And you said you would never intentionally hurt me

What was your intention

And then you did
And you told me it was intentional

What was your intention

What the **** do you want from me??!
What the **** do you want me to do??!
What the **** was I thinking??!
What the **** was your intention??!

Because starving doesn't hurt as bad
As looking in the mirror.

Because dragging a thin piece of metal
Across my skin, gives the pain a place to live.

Because when it's dark and I'm alone
There's no more voices to say "No."

Because I know it'll be hard for you
To understand- thats why I'll give you a hand.

Because I know how badly you want
To know me. But help me understand this-

Are you ready?

To the boys who just want to touch me
You must know that I am not a momentary happiness type of person
Overthinking is my forté
My name is not chastity
Nor is it easy rather
Difficult and complicated
Hard to crack open
There is no sweet center waiting to be divulged
I am more like the sun
A ball of pure fire that burns at the touch
Anxious at the thought of unfamilar palms and fingertips
Meant to be admired from a distance
I will warn you not to get close to me
For magnets swim in my blood
And I cling to no extent
I am
Surrounded by a force field
I do not let down my guard
So if you want to touch me
You must first
Learn to love me.