Tell me it’s bad to want to hold on
to trudging upstairs, laughing,
eating on the benches,
singing in the theatre and places
we weren’t supposed to

It’s bad to want to hold on but tell me
that those warm days weren’t
the best of your life,
staying up all night crying
when we realized it was ending

Tell me that holding on is bad
because all I remember is talking
for hours upon hours with
dusk falling, everyone laughing,
and feeling drunk without drinking

Don’t tell me holding on is bad
because I want to go back to a bonfire
when you sat next to me,
back when we had a chance.
Before we went into the dark,

with naive hopes held high.

like a boiling lobster,
i don't feel it coming,
i dont see it
before it
hits

I imagine
our bodies breathing,
sun streaming,
crickets screaming
(as they do).

You play with my hair
as we breathe in the humid air,
watch shadows of birds that
wallow and dip, and
my forehead meets your lips.

Laughter in my ear
chests pulled near
and you mutter sleepily,
“I wish we could just stay here,”
(forever).

Wash me clean of this feeling,
left over from a frost, half thawed.
I am slow and clunky
tension and heavy
my head is empty, but

there’s so much pressure.
Building up, holding itself up.
Let the pressure break,
water me into serenity.

You’re going back,
stumbling into the day you said good-bye.
Tears, thick and fast
with soupy air to drag you down and no way out.

Fall is tumbling
into the rabbit hole you peeked into,
a gentle, knowing push…
a push nonetheless, sealed with a kiss.

Then winter seeps in,
brittle and thin, the unforgiving ticking
of a broken clock sleeping.
So you freeze, and time sleeps with you.

But winter breaks,
with sweet air filling my lungs.
Those traitorous sacks,
why didn’t you let me breathe in before?

Let me kiss your chest and feel it beat,
something about you makes me weak.
So tell me you want me, I—

Tell me you miss me again instead
of “let’s just take our clothes off.”
But let me kiss your chest and feel it beat.

My chest was bare too, my heart was on my skin,
did you feel it? Intermingled with your warmth.
Something about you makes me weak.

Cross this ocean of earth for me,
if only in your mind, lean toward me.
So tell me you want me, I—