I’m falling in love with women I don’t even know
With hopes they can repair the parts of me
I’m trying so desperately to fix

A twilight brings solace
Dawn brings announcement
Morning brings the work
The sweat and the blood
Pooling beneath us
The dusk brings goodbyes
The night brings reflection
Twilight brings prayer

I never knew of such civil wars
our bodies could muster
How these insides can have such malice
My mind and my heart constantly at arms
neither willing to wave the white flag
How can these battles come to a halt
When the brain gives me the logic
But this heart burns to love

The purest of loves is that
when you see her happy
in the arms of another
rather than your own
and be content to know
that her heart is safe

I sang my soul for years
where’d that get me?
Empty as the bottles
We cast out to sea

All of them filled
With the words of the moon
'I hope you get betters'
and 'I’ll see you soons'

When we had our late night drunken conversation
I talked of how the last one should've treated you better
How your worth is something heaven sent
You told me stories of the islands
The ocean and how it makes you feel at home again
I watched your mouth form love poems to the room
I responded with all the things I loved too
All the poems that brought me to my knees
All the seasons and how each of them hold us
I forgot to say how I love you
And how I woke with those words still
trapped behind my lips

My throat became a chimney
I used my feelings for the fuel
My mouth plumed my insides
Sent smoke signals with my heart
All to say to you the things
I could not put to words

When the brick and the mortar
finally gave way to a swan dive of defeat
I remember how my mother cried an ocean
How my father's warmth sputtered to a halt
The streetlights flickered
The dribbling across the way subsided
And all fell to a hush

It's funny how silver tongues
can rust when the storms
finally decide to pour

It's funny how fragile we become
when the lights come on

It's funny how easy mistakes are made
when the heat begins to rise

Why unearth the bodies
that were already laid to rest
and grew flowers on graves
watered with tears?

I've been writing
To remember
All the things
We chose to forget

I drink so much now I just wanna forget
The mistakes I made the previous night
Due to too many glass bottle companions

I* ****** you because I am in love with you
You ****** me because you are still in love with *him

Liquor is merely bandages
These wounds reside deep
The insides keep spilling
And my heart hopes to keep

**** me like it was your last.

If only you knew how messy
these insides of mine became
when my poems started
to sing your name and I cared
more about winning your heart
than your 2am ***** calls

I dreamt of peace
For these oceans to settle
These chains to be broken
This skin to be just the mark
of my mother and father
I dreamt of peace
For these tables to be full
That the soul will dance
the only way it knows how
I dreamt of us
I dreamt of you

Im so entranced by the way
your silence can fill a room
How your steps sound of thunder
Like lighting straitening our spines
And how the sensation of your touch
Leaves hollow hearts in it's wake

Pink roses
Golden spring
Sinful summer
A dangerous thing
Moonlight confessions
Violet colored tears
Our arms entwined
Fleeing these childhood fears

I miss Morpheus
The gentle slumber
Now I sleep to demons
Their claws on my dreams
The pain in this heart
Has never settled since you

When I was young
I wished for a lover
Now I merely
Hope for a friend

Steady is the heart
Of the lover who waits
Steady are the hands
Of the lover who wants
Steady is the mind
Of the lover who sees
How steady are
these parts of mine
These limbs that long
for the outline of another

Songs in the wind
The world overgrown
Reaching for the heavens
Drinking the light
Full from her love

The islands took me as prisoner
Left me chained to their shores
I ate from the flesh of their earth
Burned under their titan of a sun
Sleep beneath the stars pointing home
The only map in the blackness of night
Scents of the salted sea still linger in my nostrils
I still feel the trade winds at my knees

The worst pain is the kind you let sit,
Let it rest on your insides growing fat and fierce
Knowing that if it ever was to leave
You'd be terrified that you have nothing left to feel

These fabricated affections
Make a fortress beneath the skin
A labyrinth to this heart
An ocean in these lungs
The chains of confessions
Has made these words ever so fragile

This chatter around us
keeps calling for the
insides that we choose
to hold so close between us

I hope you understand
Why I choose to pen my heart
Rather than to speak my insides

I want your name etched in my spine
After the twilights where our bodies
Sing the songs too simple for the seas

This country of mine
Cries out for salvation
All directions point inward
And the rain comes ever too often
-
This country of mine
She is an empty well seductress
Preying on the thirst of the wanting
-
This country of mine
Is the silent orchestra
The songs ofthe jail yard
The cries from the underbelly
-
This country of mine
Is the most sorrowful of graves

I've packed parts of me in boxes
To make space for the rest of you