Embarrassing to admit
This time of year
Your cold memories
Control my gift...
Iced over thoughts
Of all I have lost
Along slippery ways
Back in your
Coldest day's...
February you are my curse's
Each time around
Seem's to get a little bit worse
Somewhere between
Christmas and spring
I tend to write
Really dark themes
February?
Of all the months
In a single year
How did you trap
My weary heart here?

Listen to all the unrest
What if they all knew
The universe
Is trying to talk us through

You better learn to listen
And expand your beliefs
There’s no rest for the wicked
And
Religions can be a thief

Suffer and slumber
Or wake up and fly
There’s much more
Than flesh on the line!

I invented
My love for you
Out of leftover pieces
And broken parts
Yep...
I just gathered them up
In my empty hands
And shaped them into
An accepting heart!
Still...
I wish I would have loved you
From the very start!

I could see there was nothing left
It was over between us
Yet I must have sat there for years
Staring at the broken pieces
Void of thought and motionless
Disassociation can be
A peaceful place...

Mere shadow
   Of a lost soul...

Starving for truths
That can never be known

I was once lost you know?
Separate from us
Always to and fro

But without us
You're on your own

A mere shadow
   Of a lost soul...

Across the divides
Her single arrives
A cast of eyes receive

Off to the race
Her words of good taste
Such good lovin'
When she bleeds

A trend every time
She posts on line
Tragically a mess

But it's her that I need
To set my soul free
So go ahead my love
   And confess...

Blood red are the dreams of the poet
Unable to run from the impending doom
He felt to scream but could only whisper
In a sea of despair he’s been consumed

Oh sea of madness
Oh ocean of fools
This water between us
Is but a drowning-pool

Tomorrows is out of focus
In the dimness of foresight
Sticks and stones in pockets
This involuntary fight

No shelter from the tempest
The storms that never end
Just a longing to return
To embrace your love again....

In the meantime
I'll slow my roll
Taking these chances
Is getting real old

In the meantime
I'll celebrate life
Bury the ax
Hell I might even
Forgive my ex-wife

In the meantime
I'll sit in the sun
Cop me some rays
And have me some fun

In the meantime
I'll tell you the same
Do you some living
'Cause that's why we came

Numbness of reality
A meditative process
I rather not feel
All the sudden losses
The older I get
The clearer I see
The game is stacked
Exponentially

By the darkest night’s
Of our soul
We build these defenses
We are in accord
With a game of certain
Consequences

Good or bad
It’s a hell of a ride!
But if I can help it
I won’t let anybody die..

The waves of uneasiness
Trouble the shores
Deep in the night
The tides still roar

Unmovable past
Refuses to bend
Emotional fractures
Crawl back in

Chills, sweats
Fever dreams
Are the cost of war
At love's defeat

Carried on
The wayward soul
All the loving
We've ever known!


.....

Time stands still when dark days fall
I call to the gray sky, the clouds muffle my call
Come fill my cup with passion and precision
  Overflow me with magic from the old religion...

Take now this burden which weighs on my heart
This universe is one which makes us whole parts
Remove this illusion that we lack the power
To manipulate existence each moment devoured...

My spirit has been trapped, now dare to release
The will of the gods for those who believe
So grant me the power to change this tide
And remove this darkness from these tired eyes...

The causation
Of war
Is a world view
Implicitly drived
From a commonality
  Of righteousness...

Yet in the event
Of such realization
Of our oversight
And in that moment
When we happen to
Think twice

Any way we
Contemplate war
Death and suffering
Will always want more
..................................

Doubt becomes apparent to the intellect
Time becomes linear mingled with despair
A mathematical description of our universe
Such a lack of comfort for anyone to bear...

No silver lining in the purity of knowledge
No true magic in the music of the spheres
No supernatural state awaits our arrival
There's no perfect day without you here...

The more I search the deeper my groan
There's no turning away from the light that's shone
The wider the span the less my life means
I feel as if I awoke from a beautiful dream...

Truth cannot merely
Be spoken into existence
Without the equation
Of a believer multiplied
Ten times by foolish pride
Which potentially adds up to
A blurry distant shadow
In the darkness of one's mind...

We have always been and we will always be….
So if I can’t leave my mark upon the world this time..…
Next time around
will be good enough for me.

Their words
Speak of love
Exceptence
And tolerance
But by their action's
My soul has Been
Set free

Eyes of acceptance
Kind warm smile
As if she's known me
For some while

Familiar spirit within
Sublimable love she sends
Without a thought I move
Not wondering when or who

Now etched in my morning mind
I greet others as sublime
Caused by a single effect
An Angel perhaps once met...

Summer hair blowing in the breeze
My heart gets tangled when she's running free
The reflection of fireworks displayed in her eyes
Bursts then burns out, still she remains untied
Satisfaction is a smoking gun
Still she belongs to no one...

Silhouette of a cheerleader as she greets an old friend
As if he's more welcome than I am
Yet I know it's my hand she holds
'Til she meets the true mate of her soul
How heavy she weighs on my poem
Still after the breeze she roams....

Looking back
Is a part of mind
It's a part of living
As our lives unwind

No love forgotten
No heart un-broke
Life goes on
No
You're not a ghost
.......

Back when I
Was still with you
Roses were ripened
Violets were skewed
All of our love'n
Laced in lewd
Oh the things
We use to do
Acts of madness
Unnaturally crude
*******, tied down
Blindfolded moods
Lustful passions
Lacking rules
Psychedelic
Absolutes
Back before we
Became improved
....

On the wings of angels my love I send
Across the great divide
My message they've written in dust of stars
Which reflect within your eyes

The days shall come, the gods shall smile
And their nectar we shall taste
These doors and locks shall soon fall open
And together we will embrace

So break the chains of loves gone bad
Such clouds get in the way
The source of our power is to let love flow
So believe in us I pray

Take a moment to consider
The way life feel's
In late September
As the tired mirror
Begins to age
Elegant and wise
You still
  Rule the day...

A single spark
Of a brilliant light
I can feel your bed bugs
Eternal bite
Beneath your covers
Such delight
You are my thirst
My appetite
Oh where are you
Out there
Tonight
....?

As the storm blows over
The calming effect slowly sets in
Leaving me in a state of disarray
Finally my paths are open
But it's hard to move
I guess that storm
Nearly ran me through

And so I submit
To the gross qualifications
The abstractions of my relationship
With the dark side of poetry

These ties
In which some sort
Of  heart ache release
Finds definition in ink

Were the hints beyond subtle
As my words progressed?
I was merely describing
The age old mess

And perhaps the deprivations
Placed me in their servitude
Yet I embrace my darkness
In a state of gratitude...

Depression can be addictive
As we're pulled into the void
A place where we find comfort
In self pities we employ

Before the sun
Before the dawn
I am often
Up and gone
Not a care
Or despair
It's more then just
A mask I wear

But I know
How it is
I was once there
Beware
Depression
Is addictive!

Hope is carried upon subjective words
The manifestation of ideologies
Introduced into our objective realities

Yet I can no longer contain
A hope for what could possibly remain
Under hope's spell
The side effects
Of hope mania
.....

It's an all together crash course
In knowing what to perceive
Crazy was a bit more vague
When I was in my teens
Sure, I recall
Deep throats liars
Cheating secrets
Underneath Bill's desks
But nothing quite as obvious
As being partnered
To a genocidal mess
....

I opened a door
Immoral and vile
Less than the blink of an eye
She embraced her wild
In needles and ******
And bent steel spoons
I left her there
In her anti-social doom

So long ago
When immortality ruled
The rush of madness
That we pursued
Lost like rats
In city walls
Chasing death
Until we fall...

In the vestige
Of lingering peace
The enlightened heart
Takes no sides
Live long and prosper
Bravely into the night
....

Free from childhood
That no longer exist
Living in the moment
Becomes our gift

Let not the blemished proof of our youth
Hides our secret truths
Allow them to be merely dimples
In your smiles!

"I give" says the quitter
As she throws the ball away
A sigh comes from the one who cares
Cuz there's nothing left to say...

On bleeds the ***** dancer
For she seeks the serpent's kiss
To wash away these stains of time
Held clenched within her fist...

A stone tossed in life's battle
Had drawn her innocent blood
Silenced by the alpha's roar
The game of push and shove...

And so comes the blind one
Who shall led her to her fall
Into that pit, it seems so fit
It's the one that no one saw...

Only then does it come so clear
Don't fear those sticks and stones
It's the lies that consume us
When our hearts start to roam...

In an attempt
To form a confession
While lacking
Poetic expression
I put a tongue lashing
On my muse
Using words seldom abused
This and thats
With words that snap back
Now I'm really trapped
Not to mention confused
In this bottomless pit
Forcing words  
Without a muse
...

Where do I go from here
My flame is burning low
As of the days of my addiction
And my suicidal soul
Wasted years blur together
Holding out for better weather
But this moment brought despair
The future seems so unclear
Love given but not received
Old wound, still it bleeds
How I long to be free
Free to be me
   Without you...

The detachment is necessary
In refusal of pain I rest
I cleverly disassociate
From everybody’s death’s

Don’t look for me at funerals
I’ve no need for grim reaper’s grief
I’ll stay out here in the forest
And I’ll remain forever green!

The deep shall
Always go deeper
All the way down
Without a trace...

Spirit attempts to wax brighter
In a symphony of perpetual grace

Love does not extinguish it's own flame
That's the ego playing it's foolish games

A Poet don't complain
Nor bear a bitter heart
The gift of acceptance
Is discovered in our art

So take some deep breaths
And think about thinking
Get beyond the past
And you will quit sinking!

Once I past
Into the nigh
Slip through
The shadow
Out of the light

Under world
Of dread
And gloom
I stayed to long
And now
I'm doomed

To surf upon
The lunar tides
In downward
Spirals
Of restless mind

Ever wanting
The passion drives
Unable to quench
This huger for life

And so...
Crash and burn
And live in sin
But don't let the shadow
Grabs a hold
Of you
My friend
...

As I awake
Into another dream
Falling free
With broken wings
How many more
For the dread of wonder
How many more
I attempt to scream
I pinch myself
But feel nothing
But the sting
Of being stuck
In slumbering...

In order to touch you
I can only use words
.....

I sought an audience of my dreams
Wordless questions in silent themes
Until the chilly days finally warmed
I shed my cocoon of intent
And my plasticity conformed

In the blossoming spring my heart sings
Snow melts away from under my feet
I catching the pace of the permanent waves
Beyond the boundaries of the "finite slaves"
(Those unfortunate's awating the grave)

We all feel the changes being formed
How many more times must we be born?
I'll be taking my stand in this life span
From here to evermore!

Worthless words
In wasted ink
Nowhere thoughts
Are all I think

Shall I map
This living mess
From death to birth
To cursed from blessed

Shall I write of love
Slipped through my hands
With every word
This heartbeat ******

To relive the past
In a flowery array
What worthless words
Would I convey ...

Here again
Summer's end
The curses
The violence
The stress within
Lunar tides
Of restless souls
Giving in to
Their earthly roles

The subconscious
Longs for stimulation
Romance, adventure
And loving relation
Some crash and burn
But have no concern
   They just need to lower
   Their expectations...

I could see there was nothing left
It was over between us
Yet I must have sat there for years
Staring at the broken pieces
Void of thought and motionless
Disassociation can be
A peaceful place...

Who can be classified as a Troll
Is there a criteria that lets us know
If we were a Troll ourselves
Would that affect our mental health

Under the bridge of a poetic mind
Surely the Troll will strike in due time

To show us our ways
Have somehow gone south
Straight out of lines
They'll run their big mouths

And so here I'll simply define
A Troll is a person who crosses the line
A questionable comment without a like
Are you trying to be irritably polite
....
Sorry someone needed to say it!

The depth eludes
The span intrigues
The presence or absence
Of a single human gene
The hand of chance
The toss of bones
A need to write
To ride, to roam
Extroverted instincts
Introverted scares
So many different
Combinations
Of who we are
No end to up
Nor absolute down
The rules of existence
Continue to confound
Protons and electrons
With neutrons we fire
Our vibrations fluctuating
Our hearts full of desires

In stages of growth
In philosophical minds  
In spiritual realms
We are merely
Vibrations in time...

Two truths
Affecting the same dreams
Must be considered to be as one
Viewed in the same light
Inconclusive the evidence
Of a heart hidden in plain sight
Far from indifference
Words that speak
Like sharp points in an ear?
Who let all the angry poets
In here!

How far and wide
Your many arms
Surround thy followers
Safe from harm
Onto you burns
The candle white
Pure and holy
Protector of life
The grim shall prevail
And all shall sleep
In their sacrifices
Of vanity...

She’s dancing and spinning in circles
Her arms open wide
The joy of life shining from her eyes
Her mommy and daddy love her so good
All her aspects so well understood

No dysfunctions, no issues
No wars to be won
Just beauty and perfection
And love by the tons

Unfortunately it’s only an illusion
And the truth is very sad
Her mother’s a low-down ******
She had *** with her dad

She may be coming she may be going
She’s not really sure
Her life is been moving so **** quickly
That her memories are a blur...

The past no longer exist
The future will never be here
We will always be in this moment

A melody so familiar
I could not place
Heavy on my heart
A memory erased
Perhaps purposefully
Like a slap in the face
Do you really know pain
The kind that drains
It drains the light of day
I run from such pain
Dare it be ordained
Dare you use faith to explain
Really some were made monster
In the sight of the beholders
Why, for your benefit
Yet you haven't got a clue
What I've lived through
What my heart has felt
What my eyes have seen
Still I envy you
And your place in this universe