Lydia loves the Lord...

Sees no reason not
Takes him at his word
Through battles being fought
The Spirit in her testifies
The God of Love
Is the giver of life
And that is why

Lydia loves the Lord...

Still sometimes she's afraid
Of the world that's just outside
And what it would make her give away
People speak in whispers
But she won't answer in kind
To make it through this life
And that is why

Lydia loves the Lord...

Knows it's worth the fight
Wise beyond her years
Beauty holds her tight
In and out is clear
A blessing she is here
As clear as day and night
And that is why

Lydia loves the Lord...

Time is such
an imp,
such a
prankster.

When something
fearful
is to come,
he skips
and races
just out of reach,
until,
in chasing him,
suddenly,
multiple weeks have passed
without realizing.

But if you're
highly anticipating
an event,
he ambles along
tripping you up
over and over,
and you wonder
how it could possibly still be the same day.

Does he find our frustration amusing?

You treat Her so badly
the women who would
create your perfect flesh
then out of the womb
you came
felt on a whimsy
you came
out like a shooting star
and thru Her
and yet you treat
Her so cruelly

Winter has been long, feels good to
                       finally be able to bask
                                     in the warmth
                                                    of the
                             sun.

Powerful you are and Almighty is your name;
Heaven being your dwelling place
And earth thy creation.

Since my childhood, I’ve heard of you
As savior, mighty, redeemer and everlasting
I thought all those shall come to pass
As days fade away and time goes.
I believed there’s an end to everything
But none of my thoughts were true.

Only because…
You are the unchanging changer;
The uncreated creator;
The unseen seer; and
The untrusted trust.

My childhood days are over
And you’re still called Jehovah
You’re nature’s antonym
When days becomes nights and darker;
Instead of being powerless and older
Amazingly that’s when you become powerful and bolder.

For your constant nature O’ God,
Almighty God still suits you well even today.

Bit by bit I left subconsciously
Eating the same meal continuously;
Little did I know it was rotten
For I believed it was already broken;
Knowledge without interpretations killed me.

I found myself on a ride
Only to realize insanity was the driver
In my head the journey was to “sanity”
Not considering the promise of “purity”.
It didn’t take long and I was gone…

I believed the cure to my disease
Was my illness;
Losing all parts of me and those that
Make me up.
I gave away my sanity for insanity;
My soberness for drunkenness;
My emotional state for approval;
My physicality for adaptation;
I gave you my presence and you took
My dignity away from me.

Tears were involved, and so was blood.
Pain became my breakfast as anger
Was my supper.
My heart had to adjust its veins and arteries
Just to accommodate the pain, anger and hurt.

I sacrificed my being
To fit in your life.
You made me feel special
Until you framed someone in my own home
And then you told me “it was a game”

Besides the self-sacrifice I made,
You persecuted and intimidated me.
I wasn’t like this until I met you
You’ve always been that drug
That I was scared to attempt;
Until I tried you and you actually
Was sweet…
I had no reason to reject your sweetness
For I’m only allergic to bitterness
And that was the gown you had in
Your wardrobe but never wear.

I sold myself out and now I’m in debts.
I’m the one who needs rehab
For I’m the addict, and you’re only the drug.
You took my sanity and still
Came back for the insanity in me.
You basically want me empty handed
With you as my last resort.

I felt deprived of sweet things in life,
And you were always ready;
My eyes were open but closed;
My heart locked but open;
My knowledge was restricted;
And honestly I was gone.
I started not making sense
For I lost understanding of my actions and deeds.

Not only did I lose wisdom and knowledge
But MYSELF too.
The precious me that I always took care of,
The gorgeous me that appeared to only
Exist in my sanity of which I lost.
My capacity was overwhelmed by being overwhelmed;
I couldn’t stand the things against me
Hence I always took the easy route; and that
Being the destruction of the patience in me.

I fooled myself, I owe myself
An apology;
For my life was never my
Methodology.
It didn’t take long and I was gone…
How do I regain myself back,
And at what price?
I want “me” back, I miss “me”
Why did I sell myself so cheap,
For what visible benefits?
I fell for luxurious things
AND I WAS GONE!